I wanted to put a catchy Memorial Day quote up here, but frankly I can't find one!

This is gonna be short. First off, because Erin FINALLY took a look at the site and remarked about how vain it was to write so much :) But mostly, because I'm tired and I still need to do my devotions before bed (no more procrastinating in that area!)

It was a nice holiday weekend, though. Saturday was Aaron Lawless's wedding, which Erin went to with me (and I'm so thankful because I would have been so uncomfortable there on my own!) That was an odd experience. Good to see my friend get married. Um...other stuff, though, may not be so good. I'll write about that some other day.

Saturday night went with Brandon, Diana, Erin, and Christina to see "The Day After Tomorrow," which is another movie that the critics were way too harsh with. Sometimes a good disaster movie is just a fun thing. I love "Independence Day" and the other movies like this, where survivors of a horrendous disaster have to struggle to stay together and stay alive. This was one of the better ones I've seen. . . no "Independence Day," but fun nonetheless.

Sunday morning I went to Erin's church because I wanted to hear her testimony on her trip. It was also my first time hearing a woman pastor speak (being Baptist, that's not something that we do.) It was an experience that got me thinking about things. I'm not sure where my thoughts stand, but I know I can't spend too much time at midnight writing about it so I'll try and get to it later.

Sunday night I had friends over. That was fun. Pizza, Zobmondo, and Bible Trivia. . . okay, that last one wasn't too fun. But pizza, friends, and Zobmondo are always good :)

Today Erin and I helped Christina move and then we had a BBQ at Erin's house and the last Bible study. That was fun. But, frankly, there's really nothing deep I want to write right now because my bed is beckoning me. Maybe tomorrow the creative juices will flow a bit more freely.

So tomorrow I have work at 7:30-4. And I have to take time off work to go to my neurologist at 8:30. Tomorrow night there's no 24 or American Idol!! So I have a free Tuesday! Which means I'm hitting deebe's with my laptop and doing homework and preparing my lesson for Sunday. Well, it's bedtime! I'll write more later.

C Dubbs

Quote for the day:When the doctor said I didn't have worms anymore, that was the happiest day of my life.
--Ralph Wiggum

Sometimes you lose track of what matters. . .

Thank you, anonymous poster. Your comment about reviewing films reawakened something in me that I never had realized I had forgotten. Not that I'm going to run off and be a film critic (that's something we build to, I guess.) But I realized that the malaise I've been feeling lately may be due to the fact that in my search for a career I lost track of what I love to do.

Ever since I was a kid with a 70-page notebook and a pen, I've had a passion for writing. I remember sitting in church or school and ignoring everything going on around me while I wrote stories about my friends and I fighting ninjas or whatnot.

That love stayed through high school, as I channeled my teenage angst and rage into some rather dark and (now, in hindsight) disturbing tales. And then in college as I found a passion and a love for journalism. While it didn't stretch me as creatively as novel writing or screenwriting could, there was something noble and fulfilling in searching out someone else's story, gathering the leads, and putting it all to paper for all to see. And yeah, film reviewing was always in my mind. But I always came back to a talk I had with Terry Lawson, the film reviewer for the Detroit Free Press, where he stated how small and narrow the field for that was.

So where did I go astray? It was probably after my first rejection after college, when the local newspaper told me I didn't have the experience that they were looking for in a writer. I've never been one to handle rejection well, a must for a writer, I know. But rejection paralyzes me. Rejection from a girl two years ago probably plays a big role in why I'm still single today. And rejection from a newspaper I thought I was a shoo-in for put the thought in my head that I was not cut out for what I had studied for four years. And so I settled for the "safe" career at Verizon Wireless, talking to customers about their bill problems and knowing it was beneath me and no what I was passionate about.

But you know, you can't divorce your passions. Just like love for God drives me back to the cross, there's a passion for writing that still drives me to the empty page. James Michener said that a writer with an empty page is like an explorer staring down a new, unexplored continent. And that passion that I thought had been buried deep has had moments where it lets me know it still burns down inside of me.

I get the urge to write when I see a movie and think "I could write something better than that." When I read a book and find the stories buried inside me that I want to tell. When I see a movie like "Shattered Glass" and feel that old drive coming back to chase down the sources, craft the lead, and do the noble job of journalism.

There's a great deal of truth in the statement "do what you love." I can bide my time at Verizon. I can chase down my MBA. I can even have a lucrative career in marketing or management. But will I ever be happy? I'm beginning to think that no job will satisfy me if I'm not writing. There's a joy to be found in crafting out sentences, bringing thoughts to the page, being the first to tell an audience something.

I'm not quitting Verizon (yet.) I'm searching for another job right now, that's for sure. Because if you can get malaise by not doing what you love, you can go insane by doing what you hate. What will I do right now? I'm not sure. But I want to free up my time to pursue some freelance writing projects. Focus on building a nice little portfolio, similar to what I had in college. Get my name out. Write for Christian publications, do a few movie reviews. Earn some extra cash, yes, but more importantly, I need to WRITE. Tomorrow I'll go buy a writer's digest. I'll by the Writer's market guide. And I'll pray and focus.

In a silly way, I feel like those old soldiers in movies who've turned their backs on war. And then they pick up the gun again to go into where they're needed. Instead of a gun, I'll have a pen and a recorder. But the feeling's the same. This is what God made me for, the wonderful job of writing. And I'd be a fool not to follow that.

C-Dubbs

Vampires and werewolves and Frankensteins, oh my!

So tonight I went to see Van Helsing with Brandon and Diana. I went in not knowing how much I was going to like what I saw. The reviews had been scathing, but Erin and my sister had both liked it. So I didn't know whether I was in for some dumb fun or a 2 hour headache.

I have to say that while this is by no means the best summer movie ever made (Independence Day has always been my favorite big event flick), the critics were way too harsh with this film. When the movie works, it's a fun ride of a movie that can be immensely enjoyed as long as you check your brain at the door.

Unfortunately, there are a few instances where the movie doesn't work. It depends on cheesy humor too much, especially at the beginning. And Richard Roxburgh, who I enjoyed so much in Moulin Rouge, overacts WAY TOO MUCH as Dracula, and his brides are just plain silly. It would get a bit frustrating to have a scene that was just purely fun and cool and then skip to something cheesy and eye-rolling.

But, thankfully, the movie works more often than not. I loved pretty much every single action piece in the movie; there was just a fast-paced kinetic energy that got the adrenaline pumping. The effects were as good as they needed to be and even though the script was an afterthought, you have to admit that it was fun to see the Wolfman, Dracula, and Frankenstein's monster back on the screen together. And the cinematography was beautiful . . even when it got cheesy or boring, it was always a joy to look at this movie. And Hugh Jackman really is proving he can be the Next Big Thing.

So, here's the test. If you liked The Mummy or The Mummy Returns, (which are both directed by the guy who did this), then chances are good you'll enjoy Van Helsing. It's got the same mixture of camp, adventure, and horror that those two did, although I enjoyed this one a bit more due to the absence of dirigibles and whiny kids. Worth a look!

So, after the movie, B-D-and-I (it's easier than typing) went to Deebe's for coffee and Shannon, who I hadn't seen in over a year, met us up there. It was nice to see her again! I'm glad things are going well for her. She's moving to Ypsilanti on Tuesday and she's engaged! Good for her!

Tomorrow I'll be at Aaron Lawless's wedding, so I'll be seeing more of my old friends there. It's funny, though. A few months ago I was writing about how I missed the old group. But I'm starting to realize that, although I miss them, I don't regret the way things happened. I'm growing as a person. The friends I have around now are the friends who God has chosen to fit me best in this period of life. And though some of those friends were very close to me and it broke my heart to let them go, I'd have to honestly admit I'd take an Erin or a Brandon over them anyday!!

Well, I'm tired and I don't want to sleep in too late tomorrow. The wedding is at 2 and I want to try and hit the gym sometime before then. So, until then, farewell and adieu!

C-Dubbs

"Mr. President, we're going to kill us a mummy"

And THAT my friends is a movie line I guarantee you I never expected to hear. Especially when the character saying that is an aging Elvis Presley. And the president in question is John F. Kennedy. A black John F. Kennedy. Whose brain was replaced by a bag of sand. Ahem. Welcome to the wonderfully odd world of Bubba Ho-Tep.

This film was my pick at the video store today. . . and if you have to ask why, just consider what the film is about. Elvis Presley switched identies with an Elvis impersonator, but then broke his hip, ended up in a coma and now lives alone in a nursing home with a strange growth on his, um, lil' king. Also at the home is JFK who spends his days trying to find out the second killer in a conspiracy that had him taken out of office and dyed black. Oh yeah, and his real brain is in a jar in Washington and he's afraid they'll unplug the battery. And these two old men have to team up to defend their nursing home from an Egyptian mummy who sucks souls out through the rectum and then, when they're fully digested, flushes them down the toilet. He also likes to draw graffiti in Egyptian on the bathroom stall. Do you even have to ask why I was intrigued by something this odd?

While not destined for any "best of" lists or awards, this film was actually a fun little gem to stumble upon. What's surprising is that the movie doesn't really go for easy laughs or odd humor. The humor plays out very subtle and the movie's tone is that of a contemplative drama about aging. . . and it works. Yeah, there's a mummy going around and Elvis's battle cry is "TCB, baby." But it's a good little flick. Bruce Campbell gives a wonderfully bizarre performance, channelling Elvis Presley while not turning it into a one-note joke. And Ossie Davis adds gravity to his role of JFK in a role that could easily be laughed off. Fun stuff, really.

So that's how I spent my day, other than the nap that I took. So much for being productive with my last half of a vacation day. But oh well. . . sometimes you just have to let loose and relax, right?

So I guess I have a fan on here. . . someone actually posted a comment! And to be honest, I had kind of written off film criticism, and I don't know why. After all, my major was journalism and my minor was film studies. It IS kind of a no-brainer, I guess. Except that newspapers aren't exactly clamoring for film critics right now.

But I've decided to jump back in the ring and get back on the writing track, something that was actually inspired by writing in this blog. I'm going to start pursuing some freelancing to build up my portfolio and then check out some newspapers once I'm happy with what I have. That means, too, that I can be flexible with the job I have now. . . if I find something else, even if it's not a career-option, at least I know it's temporary. Who knows, one day maybe it will be Wiliams and Roeper!!

Well, my sagging gut is telling me it's time to hit the gym before I check out Van Helsing tonight. Keep those comments coming! Or e-mail me at cdubbs727@msn.com!!
C-Dubbs

Me and the boys. . .

Sometimes a lazy day can be oh so sweet. I worked four hours today and I do the same tomorrow, due to my nice strategy of using my vacation time for halfdays instead of whole days every few months. It's a nice strategy. I work in the morning for a few hours and then I'm up and properly motivated for the rest of the day. Or, that's the plan. Sometimes I just go home, nap and watch a DVD.

Work started out as a case of SSDD (Same Stuff Different Day.) But thankfully my boss came around to monitor my calls and my focus picked up and I coasted to 11:30. Then I had a nice lunch with Erin out in Novi. Then it was back to my apartment to do some laundry, take a nap, watch some DVDs of Chappelle's Show and hit the gym.

Tonight I went to Royal Oak with Tim and Brandon for a few hours. It was such a nice night that we figured we wouldn't waste it sitting inside a coffee shop. So we grabbed some ice coffee and walked around and ended up sitting outside a parking lot for an hour and a half or so just talking and joking around.

The nice thing about having these nights with the guys is that you can really just be stupid for a bit. Yeah I took a bit of heat for my "Brad Pitt is hot" comment I made (intentions were good, but sadly I see why I got ragged on.) But it was still a fun night and good to get out and just laugh for a bit after a stressful week.

I'm just amazed how quickly everyone around me seems to be moving with life, though. Tim's getting married in December. Brandon's dating Diana. My friends are out of college and getting settled into their careers. Money is good for them. Really, there are no worries.

And me? Sometimes I wonder if you could compare my life four year ago with the life I live today and notice any differences. Yeah, I'm out on my own now. But has anything else changed? I'm at the same job I was in during college, albeit making a bit more money and working more hours. As for the dating scene. . . sorry, I was too busy laughing to answer that question. It's not that I have a bad dating life. . . it's more that it's nonexistent :)

Jeremiah 29:11 says that God has plans for us. That His plans are to give us a future and a hope. That His plans are not to harm us. Romans says ALL things work together for God's glory. And it's not that I don't believe that. It's just that sometimes you sit there, watching everyone else move on in life while you feel eternally stuck on pause. . . and part of me wants to yell "God, push the button and unfreeze my life! Let me move!"

In college it wasn't so frustrating. There was that understanding that you were in a bit of a holding pattern. You were learning job skills, just becoming acquainted with the world. Now, however, there's that awareness that this thing called "life" has begun in earnest. And what happens next?

I'll be 100% honest: much of the reason things are the way they are are completely my fault. I'm a person who lives life paralyzed in some instances by fear. Why am I working at a job I hate right now instead of getting my resume out and pursuing a new career? Because right now I have security where I'm at. Why am I single and bemoaning it? Because I haven't gotten the guts to go out and say the right things and allow myself to take some risks.

Fear is not a good thing. It's paralzying and frustrating. And it shows a complete lack of faith on my part. So I guess it's time to ask God to take my hand and show me where to go. I love the saying that truly defines faith for me, and so I'll close with it. Faith is trusting God when he leads you to a mountain top that if He asks you to jump off the mountain He's going to give you something to stand on or teach you how to fly.

C-Dubbs

I may not be Jack Bauer, but I can still have a long day. . .

The end of the day is here. Thank you, Jesus! Another long, hard, tiring day is at a close and I can soon crawl under my covers and sleep the sleep of the just. . . at least until 6:15, when the whole vicious cycle starts over again.

So, I think it's time to start getting my resume together. I can't do this customer care gig any longer, I'm afraid. It's too draining. I don't want to go to work and come home in a rotten mood, angry and bitter. I don't want to dread going to work. I understand that very few people particularly love working. . . I'm not looking for that. But when it actually saps all life out of my system, it's time to go. When I actually have to choke back my disgust at helping a customer, it's time to start looking.

My problem is that it's been four years since I've ever really seriously looked for a job. Probably longer, because I wasn't looking for Verizon. Just sort of heard about it through my uncle. I was actually quite content over at Sam's Club for quite awhile during my college years. So it's actually been since 1997 since I've been very proactive. Sure, there was a short stint right out of college in 2001 when I half-heartedly pursued journalism. But I think I was too scared to leave the security of my current company to start looking.

I don't know where to start. Journalism isn't an option any longer because it's been three years since I've written anything substantial. My portfolio is dated and shows the immaturity of a college student. Anything too business like seems out of my league, although that may just be my fears talking. The truth is, Verizon has been good. It's just time to move on. I truly feel God is telling me that. He's shown me that I'm probably not going to be moving up in the company. And I think things that have happened lately, and my attitude's rapid spiral are just proof positive that it's time to get out.

And that's where faith is going to come in. I'm not going to quit my job and just go looking; I'm smart enough to know you don't leave until you have your other option lined up. But if I truly believe that God is calling my elsewhere (and I do) then he will guide me and show me where I'm supposed to go. I just have to trust Him and be responsible to take a leap when He asks me to.

Luckily, I have a half day tomorrow and Friday. I had originally planned to take this whole weekend and Brandon and I were going to head to Chicago. But those plans fell through. So I cancelled the whole days off, but decided to do some half days just so I'd have some time to catch my breath. And then the three day weekend starts. Tomorrow's plans are nice and easy. I'm going out to Novi to meet Erin for lunch after work. Then I'm going home, doing some laundry and putting my resume together and spending some time on monster.com doing a job search. Then tomorrow night--hopefully after a trip to the gym--I'm going to Royal Oak to hang out with Brandon and Tim for a guys' night. That should be fun. We don't get to do that anymore since those two are in relationships and not all too available much longer.

As for the weekend. . . should be fun. Wedding Saturday afternoon. Couple movies I want to see. Memorial Day's always good. So, good times are hopefully right around the corner.

Until then,
C-Dubbs

Movies Midyear Progress Report . . .

Well, the year is coming up on the halfway mark. The winter and spring movie seasons are behind us and we're rolling into Summertime as we speak. That means it's time to do a quick check of the five best movies so far this year, as well as some comments on some of the other, um, not so notables. So, here we go. . .

1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: I can't express how much I loved this movie. Jim Carrey toned it down and turned in a perfect straight man performance. Kate Winslet was wild and uninhibited and I absolutely adored her in this. Elijah Wood, Kirsten Dunst, and Mark Ruffalo gave great supporting performances. But the thing I loved most was Charlie Kauffman's twisty script, which managed to be intriguing and original and yet touching and emotional. One of my favorite love stories ever. A passionate look at what it means to fall in love, warts and all. A great, great movie.

2. Kill Bill- Volume 2: Part one was like a cinematic heroin rush. Part 2 was slower and more character based. But what characters Quentin Tarantino created! Uma's bride was heartbreaking and intense. Darryl Hannah was wickedly devious. Michael Madsen's Budd was sympathetic yet slimy. And Bill. . . well, he rocked the house. Tarantino's marriage of smashing violence, epic storytelling, and clever dialogue lived up to and fulfilled the promises Volume 1 put in play. Put them together and you have a movie that will forever be loved by geeks everywhere, myself included.

3. Miracle: Yeah, it's the cliched sports story of the 1980 Olympic Hockey team. But the cliches work. Kurt Russell's performance is incredible and the story is a great example of just how sports and cultural events bring us together. A big smile of a movie that makes you feel proud to be an American.

4. Dawn of the Dead: Who would've thunk this remake would be any good? But the tense horror, wicked humor, and shocking ending combined to make the first truly scary horror movie in years. Fun in every way a horror movie needs to be. Able to make you scream, hide your eyes, and chuckle at yourself for doing so. Everything that 28 Days Later wished it could have been.

5. Super Size Me: I'm surprised just how much this documentary has stuck with me. Morgan Spurlock sure got himself in a heap of trouble with McDonald's over this film. But it's a shocking look at our food loving culture, and an eye-opening look at the fast food industry. Some might say it's just the chronicling of a really unwise experiment, and they'd probably be right. But as for me; I'm loving it.

And no, I didn't forget . . .

The Passion of the Christ: Really, I think it would be wrong to try and "list" this movie. It defies listings or even a valid review. It's the most important, controversial, and hotly divided film of the year so far, and I don't see that changing come December. But what else would you expect from a film that tells the most important story any of us will ever hear? Mel Gibson crafted a film that was powerful, unflinching, and impossible to quantify. Beautiful even as it gets ugly. Moving even as you become numb. Thought provoking even as you find yourself dumbstruck. This film is a true work of art. Not enjoyable by any means, but undeniably brilliant and a labor of love.

But alas, one film stood head and shoulders above the others for the worst film thus far . . .

The Ladykillers: Combine the eccentric Coen Brothers and Tom Hanks in a devious black comedy. The possibilities were intriguing. Unfortunately, they were more intriguing than anything in this foul-mouthed, stupendously stupid movie. While it earns a few points for at least never being boring (and Tom Hanks did his best with the Colonel Sanders role) it loses them all over again for lacking any coherence.

C-Dubbs

A long day comes to an end. . .

Well, tonight was the big night. The "24" season finale. And unlike Sunday's episode of Alias, this finale delivered the goods.

24's probably best known because of it's gimmicky structure. . . 24 episodes that chronicle an entire day as Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) tries to thwart a terrorist attack. This season started and ended with the threat of a mechanized virus, but not without a few surprising, devastating twists along the way. And, as you know from reading this site, the past 10 episodes or so have been racked with tension, surprises, and cliffhangers. So I had to know how the day was going to end for Jack Bauer.

24 is notorious for it's cliffhanger finales. Probably nothing could top Season 1's last second shocker of traitor Nina Meyers shooting Jack's wife and leaving the season with Jack cradling her in his arms. But Season 2's closeout of having President Palmer collapse after an assassination attempt was also a shocker (albeit it never really was explained this season.) So I think everyone went in expecting a cliffhanger.

The big shocker is that they didn't close the season out that way this year. Instead, they opted for a more emotional ending that brought closure to some of the story threads and yet left some of us asking big questions.

That's not to say that tonight's finale didn't deliver the suspense. I never would have anticipated Gael's wife shooting Saunders just as he's about to reveal his accomplice. And the chase through the crowded Middle School and the sacrifice Chase makes to save the day were both nail-biters. In fact, I was shocked out of my seat when Jack grabbed the axe and chopped off Chase's arm.

But it was the emotional endings that really surprised me. President Palmer's sorrow at finding out about Sherry's death, and his anger at his brother finally getting released when another coverup was suggested (although personally, I would have liked to see Palmer deck the little schemer.) Tony and Michelle's heartbreaking embrace before Tony was led away into custody to await his punishment for treason. Chase's conversation with Jack about quitting feild ops to settle down with Kim and Jack's determination to stay with him even as the virus's clock ticked down. Palmer's conversation with Jack as he revealed he wouldn't seek re-election. And I was shocked at the final moments, as Jack sat in his car and just broke down in tears. Until he got the call from CTU calling him back to work, I was worried that he was going to shoot himself.

So, a superb end to the season, even if there were a couple nagging questions (how did Kim get to the hospital so fast? Why didn't Jack as Palmer to pardon Tony?) But it sets things up for next season. So, come January 2005, my Monday nights will be booked because if Day 3 was this great, I can't wait to see what's in store for Day 4.

C-Dubbs

I love this song. . .

Lead of Love
Caedmon's Call

Looking back at the road so far
The journey's left its share of scars
Mostly from leaving the narrow and straight

Looking back it is clear to me
That a man is more than the sum of his deeds
And how You've made good of this mess I've made
Is a profound mystery

Looking back You know You had to bring me through
All that I was so afraid of
Though I questioned the sky, now I see why
Had to walk the rocks to see the mountain view
Looking back I see the lead of love

Looking back I can finally see (I'd rather have wisdom)
How failures bring humility (than be)
Brings me to my knees (a comfortable fool)
Helps me see my need for Thee

Crawling to 4:00 . . .

I'm in the middle of yet another wonderful day here at Verizon Wireless (I hope you're picking up on the sarcasm.) Just another day where the calls are flying in nonstop and everyone seems to want to take a shot at the poor, defenseless rep. So, obviously, it's a bit hectic here, and my attitude has been at risk all day. Actually, this morning it was pretty well shot, but I've since gotten a bit of an adjustment.

I had to be reminded of what we were talking about at Bible study last night. The topic was serving, and I was reminded about just how little of a servant's heart I can have. When it comes to helping at church or even taking the time to help somebody else with a problem, I just can get very selfish and prideful. I don't like to do what might not be the most fun. And putting others ahead of myself is just something that is sadly pretty foreign and (to be brutally candid) off-putting to me. That's why, in the midst of the calls at work, I turned to Phillipians 2:5-8:

Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.

That's a very butt-kicking verse to me. My attitude needs to be one of a servant, because that's what Christ was. Again, as Pastor Bob has preached a lot, the servant is not greater than His master. Why should I think it's beneath me to serve when the one who is Above everything had no reservations about being a humble servant? Why should I be so reluctant to be humble when the Creator and Sustainer of the Universe was willing to wrap himself in flesh, get sick and pick thorns, rocks and mud out from between his disciples' toes? What right do I have to groan and grumble about a stressful day at work when the Lord of Life willingly endured beatings, scourgings, and being nailed to a cross?

It means that I have to change the one thing I have control of at work: my attitude. And not just at work, but whenever I deal with people. As a Christian, there's no justification for selfishness. There's no such thing as "Chris time." Everything has to be done for God and, in doing that, for others.
C-Dubbs

I guess this would be Chrisicisms 2.0 . . .

So I hope the new format looks okay. I thought the old one was a bit boring to look at, so I thought I'd change it up a bit. I like it. What do you think? Well, the cool thing is that you can click on comments and let me know!!! So I'm curious as to what you think and who's out there reading this!!

So I realized I never really did a recap of the weekend. Not that there was much to recap. Friday night I basically stayed in and watched Bowling for Columbine.

Saturday I went to Bible Study, but only Dave was there so we just had coffee and chated for a bit. Then I went and tilled the land at my parents', planting some flowers for my mom for her (late) mother's day gift.

Then we had the Road Rally, but Erin wasn't feeling well halfway through so we abandoned our team and I sat with her at Che Cosa in Mt. Clemens for about 2 hours till she was up and running again. Then we just went to a Coney Island and got some food then went back to my place and watched Ocean's Eleven and at some ice cream.

Sunday was church and then a concert at night and then Erin and I watched the Alias finale, which I thought wasn't too great. A lot of big holes in the plot and I thought the ending was predictable, even for someone who's only seen like four episodes this season.

Today was pretty uneventful. Work was hectic and I ended up doing some O.T. so I was there until 6:30. Then I had Bible Study at Erin's, which was fun and then her and Christina and I watched Fear Factor. Then I came home, did my devos, read for a bit and then. . .here we are :)

Nothing really profound to say tonight. Really just writing so I don't slip out of the habit. I'll hopefully have something a bit deeper to say tomorrow.

C-Dubbs

Goodbye weekend. . . hello Monday. . .

I love Sundays.

My favorite day of the week used to be Saturday. And granted, there is immense joy to be found in sleeping in after a long week, spending the day lounging around watching TV, sleeping, exercising or hanging out with friends. Saturday's are truly days to be cherished.

But Sundays have become my favorite.

It's easy to get lost during the week. We start off heading down what we think is the right path on Monday morning. We have the best intentions to stick it out at work and honor God. We're going to press on and really have a good attitude. We're going to be an effective witness. We're going diet right, spend money wisely, and treat our friends and family with the respect they deserve. We're going to live life for God and no one is going to bring us down. So we head off into the forest with confidence, sure that we know The Way.

By Tuesday, things are already getting confusing. We step off the path a bit to take a shortcut at work. We give into a certain sin and get more tangled in the brush. By Wednesday we know we're off the path, but we're certain we know where to get back on if we can only head in the right direction. Thursday we're wondering if that's the same rock or sin that we've passed by repeatedly. By Friday we're ready to give up as the trees and danger crowd in and we feel hopelessly depressed and scared. Can you blame us for just laying down and giving up on Saturday?

But I love Sunday. Because on Sunday we remember what matters. No matter how tough my week has been, I can guarantee you that I've forgotten those problems when the first hymn is being sung. When I'm pointed back to the cross and I remember that although I've gotten off the path I've had someone directing my steps anyway. And when I go home and reflect on my day it's like God's reached through the woods I've been lost in, grabbed my hands, and lead me back to the right road.

Sundays are a gift. It's when you learn that the petty problems don't matter. It's when you gain focus on the true goals of life. It's when you remember that this life is not yours at all, but a gift of grace from God. So even though Monday starts tomorrow and I don't know what this week holds, I can be confident that Sunday is only seven short, sweet days away :) :)

C-Dubbs

Sometimes you just have one of those days. . .

Never thought I'd be so glad to see a Friday end in my life! I don't know what was in the water today, but today was just one of the most stressful, horrendous days at work I'd ever had. I don't know why people think they can suddenly lose all class and tact when they're on the phone with customer service, as if swearing and yelling are going to up any desire we have to help them. Quite honestly, I know they think we'll give them what they want just to get off the line. But in my opinion, all that the yelling serves to do is make me just want to stand my ground so they get even more ticked off.

So, needless to say, it was just one of those days where you leave work tense and stressed out and feeling very beat up and tired. So I headed back to the apartment and headed right to bed to lay down for a half hour. . . that turned into an hour. But it was a well needed nap.

Erin was swamped with church obligations tonight so she didn't come over. It's probably better that she didn't as I was in a nasty, rotten, lethargic mood tonight from work. But, you make the best of things. I did the laundry, bought myself a few slices of pizza from Dolly's and hit the video store. Problem was, the only ones that interested me were House of Sand and Fog and Elephant, both of which are supposed to be quite the downers. So, I didn't rent anything.

Instead, I headed back to my place, ate my pizza while watching and episode of Chappelle's show and then took a walk. I headed back, did my devotions and prepared for Bible Study tomorrow and then watched Bowling For Columbine.

It's really sad that Michael Moore had to tarnish his image with that speech at the Oscars. That's all that people associate him with now, and it's really a shame. Bowling For Columbine is one of the most thought-provoking, powerful, and entertaining documentaries I've ever seen and, in my opinion, it was the best film of 2002 that didn't have Lord of the Rings in the title. I think it's so sad that our culture is so afraid that we've given in to buying guns to protect ourselves. That we still place all our blame on the black man. Really, it's sad. And I think this documentary did a great job of not just pressing for gun control, but exploring the ideas of why a country like ours has such a problem with violence when Canada has just as many guns, double the unemployment, and just the same diversity and yet does not have the murders. It's a tough movie to watch, and it's kind of frustrating because there are no answers to be found.

I'm not one to go follow Michael Moore everywhere. I think he does come off as pompous, one-sided, and a bit of a jerk. And I'll allow that although I think he's an incredible film maker, I wouldn't consider him a journalist, per se. He can't be objective enough, and I think it does hurt his films a bit (for a good example of how objectivity can make a documentary brilliant, check out the distrurbing but excellent "Capturing the Friedman's.") But I will say that he brings up intriguing points and some of his information is pretty factual. That's why I am interested to see how "Farenheith 9/11" is when it comes out.

I'm not going to get into my political views here right now. They're not too interesting, I guess. I do lean more conservative, although there are some issues I don't agree with. Maybe I'll write those later. For now, I have to get to bed.
C-Dubbs

What are they doing with my shows!!??

Okay, just venting a bit about the new network schedules for next year that they announced. They're really messing around with my patience and my schedule here. So I'm just going to breathe and try and give the two negatives and then see if there is some positive light to all this shuffling.

1.) 24 is moving to MONDAY NIGHTS!!??? Do they not realize that moving it to 9 o' clock on Monday nights means it goes right up against Everybody Loves Raymond's final season?? And I was just starting to enjoy Two and a Half Men!! What's worse. . . new episodes don't start until January 2005!!!! Uggh. . . I mean, of course I'm still going to watch, but this makes me a bit angry. . .

2.) Alias is still on, but new episodes of it don't start until January 2005 as well!! I mean, what are we supposed to do all fall?? Read???

Okay, but there are some bright sides to this that, while it will be an adjustment, will work out. . .

1.) Starting the shows in January means no five week hiatus for American idol!! I mean, 24 didn't even get a good stride going until late in the season so maybe it's for the best. Plus. . . no reruns!!

2.) Tuesday nights mean that I'm freed up now to watch Scrubs at 9:30!! I've missed that show!

3.) Thursday night has a little bonus for me. I don't have too much confidence in "Joey." And I've never been a fan of Will & Grace. But now Fox is moving the O.C. to Thursday nights at 8:00 so I can finally start watching that.

So, I guess every cloud has a silver lining! And still, the current season isn't even quite over yet. Alias's finale is Sunday and then the big 24 season finale is Tuesday night. Can't wait to see how this day shapes up!

C-Dubbs

More fractured fairy tales. . .

So another day, another dollar. Actually not a bad day. Work was decent; would have been better had our floor not been so hot and humid and my cold not been hanging around. But it was manageable. Actually the past two or three weeks have been a lot less stressful. I think it was the vacation or maybe the new system. Whatever it was, I'm not going to argue, because it's working!

Tonight I went with my sister, Ashley, to go see Shrek 2. I'm a huge fan of the first movie; I love its originality and almost anarchic sense of humor, especially the way it just totally blasts on fairy tales. This movie, for the first 20 minutes or so, did start out a tad slow. Shrek and Fiona go to meet her parents. It was worth a few chuckles here and there, but it really started out more like Shrek: the sitcom. Really, once the fairy couple gets married, few things are more entertaining than watching them get along and be all lovey and gooey (which only proves my point that any couple who has never been in a fight and says they're in love is definitely not in love... but that's for another post).

Thankfully, about 20 minutes into the movie, Puss In Boots shows up, voiced by Anotonio Banderas. And this is where the movie starts to have some fun. The biggest joke in the movie, for instance, might just be Puss's big kitty eyes as he disarms someone. Funny stuff.

I think those jokes must have juiced up the crew, because from that point on, the film just continues to pick up steam and have more fun and originality. There are less fairy tale jokes and more pokes at our fame-obsessed culture and a lot of movie jokes (Spiderman, Lord of the Rings, Ghostbusters. . . even Flashdance gets a shout-out!) I won't ruin any of the suprises, but the movie is definitely worth it. Not as good as the first, but very few sequels are.

In other news, I'm reading this book right now that Erin leant me called Girl Meets God, about a Jewish girl who converted to Christianity. It's really eye opening. I can't imagine not only having to divorce yourself from the culture of the world, but having to break away from the culture you've known growing up.

I guess it only proves a point that I've come to learn in the past few years. Anyone who said that following Christ won't cost you a thing was a big liar. We're called to lay down EVERYTHING. Christ himself said that our families and our world would hate us for following Him. He commanded us to take up our crosses DAILY and follow Him. And he warned us that the servant is not greater than the master, and we saw how far his persecution was taken.

I guess that's why it frustrates me when I give in to the world's system time and again. When I think my job, money, or relationships will make me happy. It's why I get angry when I see Christians swear, not stay in the Word, or just make church part of their "lifestyle." It's not a club. It's not something you do just to be a better person. It's not a lifestyle. It's Life.

Monday at Bible study we were talking about the importance of the Bible. And I kind of bristled when the word "useful" was tossed around. Yeah, it's true. And I'm probably just getting angry at some semantics. But it's so much more than useful. It's our lifeblood. It's our food. It's our water. It's our bread.

Nothing irritates me more than seeing a person feel that they're a committed, growing Christian and then seeing that they aren't committed to growing! I've said it before, and I'll probably say it again: if someone is not in the Word, if they're not regularly in church, if they're not committed to prayer and utter dependance on God, I don't see how they can begin to grow!! In fact, if they aren't even trying to do those things, I would hesitate to say that they are growing!

And I don't mean to sound like I'm perfect. I'm not. Some Sundays I roll out of bed and just want to sleep a little longer. There are a few nights where I go to bed before opening my Bible. And prayer is tough for me, I'll be completely honest. It's an issue I have to depend on God to grow in me. And yeah, I give into the world just as often as the next Christian...probably more. But I know where my desire is. And I'm committed to pressing on and getting closer to God, no matter how many times I trip or frustrate myself. Because that's all that matters.

With that, I'm also committed to going to bed. It's 11:20 and I still need to sleep the rest of my cold off and 6:15 comes oh so early! I'll write more later!

C-Dubbs

Just get me my pjs and a pillow. . .

Remember when you were in Algebra in High School and you sat there trying hard as can be to stay awake. But the boredom seemed to just grab your eyelids and pull them down, so there was a tremendous physical effort just to stay awake? And so you sat there in that constant state like an awake dream, just wishing the bell would ring so you could leave and go to something that was a little more stimulating?

Imagine doing that for four hours. Now welcome to my day.

Just now I'm getting a short break from this new account training we have at work. And I swear I have never had to put up so much of a fight just to stay conscious. Now, some of it may not be the teacher's fault. After all, my sleep was brought on by NyQuil last night and you all know how the day after that feels. Plus I'm probably crashing from the huge coffee I had this morning. But still. . . I was fine on the phones this morning. Now I feel like a freakin' zombie!! Brains!! Brains!!

So, when I get out of here at four, I'll be happy. Then I can head by the apartment, grab a quick dinner, head to my parents' to print out our group's homework assignment, and then head to class by six. Busy busy busy. . . but I'll still take it over this training class.

My cold's a bit better today. No headache. No chest congestion. Just an irritating stuffy nose. But that's it.

Getting through Wednesday is always a chore, though. You know that once you're over that day the week is half over. Two more days and you're arriving at the weekend. Gosh. . . hurry up four o' clock!!! AAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!!

So the rest of the week looks good. Tomorrow night I'm not having guys' night with Brandon. . . Diana stole him back! (Just kidding, Di!) Instead, I'm going to the movies with my sister to see Shrek 2 which I'm really looking forward to. Any excuse for Eddie Murphy antics in my book is a good thing. Friday night Erin and I are just staying in and watching DVDs and getting a $5 pizza from Little Caesars. Saturday is the road rally. So, big fun coming up. If I don't slip into a coma here in training!

Well, time to go! I'll write more tonight maybe. Maybe not. We'll see. Depends if I like you or not :)
c-Dubbs

Ding Dong! The witch is dead!!

Well, they did it! 24 finally got rid of Sherry Palmer! She's been the conniving, twisted thorn in President Palmer's flesh for 3 seasons and now she got blown away. Of course, I don't know how they're going to find a villain as good as her, but I don't think I have to worry. 24 always has something up its sleeves. And I don't know how Palmer is going to clean this mess up with only one hour left to go!

So the finale finally comes up next week. And I for one am looking forward to it. 24, as I've said before, started off all over the map this season and it seemed like the writers were making some stuff up as they went along. But in about March, the series unleashed the virus into the Chandler Hotel and the show just has been back to greatness ever since. Taking risks, giving us the nail-biting suspense we want. I can't wait for what promises to be a great finale.

So I'm feeling a tad better tonight. Went to the gym and worked out a little. Sinuses still bothering me, but I'll take some Nyquil and hope for the best tomorrow. Ugh.

Well, that's it. Just wanted to write. Time for bed!
C-Dubbs

The bane of the summer cold. . .

I should have paid more attention to my sinuses yesterday. By the time I got to Erin's, my face felt like it was surrounded by foam, with the sinus pressure just squeezing my cheeks, eyes, and neck. I figured it would pass by today, but I was so, so wrong. . .

This morning I woke up and my head felt like it was in a vice and my chest was so congested that it felt like someone was just pressing their foot down on it. So, although I hate doing this for just a cold, I called in to spend a day getting some rest at home. . .

I feel a bit better now. My head is still congested, but no longer do I have a headache. I took a Sudafed so now I'm not leaking, sniffling, or sneezing. I feel a bit tired and drained, but that's just the result of probably too much sleep. I should be in fighting shape by tomorrow morning. . .

Staying home did give me the benefit of catching up on a lot of schoolwork. I had volunteered to be the point man for our team project and I just ended up getting everyone's (well, ALMOST everyone's) papers last night. So I spent hours getting that organized today which saves me time tonight, which is nice.

I'm debating whether to head to the gym tonight. I know I need to go work out, and that I'll probably feel more energized if I do. But I don't want to wear myself out. I'll probably go, though, and take it easy. . .

Bible Study was very eye-opening last night. We started talking about discipleship and becoming more like Christ. But the conversation somehow shifted and everyone started talking about how stressful, worrisome, and scary life can be. And I really sympathized. I know that--especially since my stroke--I've felt worried. And this time of life, learning how to live on your own and balance budgets and be responsible can be both exciting AND terrifying.

I'm so glad that God gave us His Word to turn to in times like that. Because instead of giving in and getting stressed and fearful on my own, the Spirit directed my thoughts to Matthew 6 when Jesus was talking about worry and about how God takes care of the sparrows and the blades of grass and we are worth so much more to them than any of those things! I love the verses in Matthe 6:31-34

Therefore do not worry, saying "what shall we eat?" or "What shall we drink?" or "What shall we wear?" For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For you heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therfeore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

There are so many wonderful truths in this passage.

1. God knows what I need. It's pointless to worry and ask questions about where things will come from. God is the ultimate provider. To worry questions His provision. And He knows what I need. If He knows, and He's proven He provides, then why should I worry?

2. God provides just what I need if I'm seeking after Him. When I worry, I'm not making Christ the focus of my life. Instead, I need to seek first God's righteousness and live for His kingdom and He will give me enough to get by and glorify Him. If I don't have it. . . it might mean I don't need it!

3. God guides us one day at a time. I think this is the hardest thing for me to put into practice. I like to know the future well in advance. I like to think I'm two steps ahead of anything. But God doesn't always guide us that way. He takes us one day at a time because that's how He develops our faith. Why worry about tomorrow? Tomorrow may never come! And if I'm worrying about tomorrow, how will I focus on trusting God today!?

Like I said, this is such a rich passage. I'm so glad God gave us this teaching to turn to when life gets rough.

C-Dubbs, out!

Monday Monday. . .

Well, just killing some time here at work. My shift actually ended a half hour ago, but I have to be at Erin's at around 6:30, so I'm trying to burn off some time. After this I'll probably head to Subway for some dinner (after that movie last night, it's the only fast food I trust!) Then it'll be off to Kroger's to pick up the snack for tonight, and then to Bible Study. So while i'm here, why not do some rambling??

Work was fine today, except that the recent dip in the weather is once again wreaking havoc with my sinuses. Not near as bad as a few weeks back, but still annoying all the same. But the customers were fine, the day went by fast, and I enjoyed myself just about as much as one can at work. . .

Finally getting some relief financially. Utilities this month were $50 less than last month's heart attack-inducing total. Probably the fact that we were balancing Gas and A/C made things a bit more even. So, that was a nice bonus. . .

Pretty standard week coming up. Bible Study tonight, tomorrow night I'm hitting the gym after work and then 24 is on (only 2 weeks left!) Wednesday night is school and Thursday night Brandon and I were thinking about getting some guys together and hanging out in Royal Oak. Friday night is a question mark, although I hope to catch Shrek 2. Saturday night is the road rally with my Sunday School class and Sunday night is the concert at church. . . Busy, busy, but fun. . .

I think it's a bit sad that in two weeks, once American Idol and 24 have their season finales, that my scehdule will suddenly clear up immensely. Sad because it shows just how much of my life has revolved around television. I notice this each year, but sadly I don't do much about it. . .

Not really sure if there's much else I can really write. Kind of a slow news day today. So I'll write more later.

c-Dubbs

Would you like fries with that?

Just got in from seeing the new movie Super Size Me at the Main Art Theatre in Royal Oak. What an incredible documentary!

For those of you who don't know the story behind it, there's this documentarian who decided he would eat nothing but McDonald's food for 3 meals a day for 30 days and he would document the changes to his body. His physicians were shocked that he gained over 20 pounds, his cholestrol went from very healthy to risky levels and his liver was seeing the same damage as an alcohol binge (he doesn't drink or smoke, either.) This is the movie that (unofficially) made McDonald's stop doing Supersize Meals and start offering healthy Active Meals.

Really, coming from Detroit (which is now the #1 fattest city in the nation) this was an eye-opener. You see the damage fast food does to you. How our whole nation is obsessed with eating fast and cheap. How obesity is on the way to becoming the #1 preventable killer in the United States. How school lunches have almost 1200 calories in them. Wow, it was shocking.

It makes you think about your own eating habits. I eat out fast food at least 2 or 3 times a week. Taco Bell gets a huge portion of my paycheck. I have a gym membership but I don't go nearly as much as I should. It makes you really feel guilty and want to change. I would compare it to Bowling for Columbine because it is funny and the filmmaker plays a huge part in it. But it's without Michael Moore's irritating political rants. Highly recommend it!!

Well, that movie had me feeling like I need to exercise more, so I'm going on a late-night walk. Write more later!

C-Dubbs

I'm still alive!!

Wow, it's been a long time since I've written. . . my apologies for those of you who keep up. As you'll see, things have been pretty hectic and busy lately, but this week looks like my schedule will get back to normal, so hopefully I can get back on track with my writing.

Work has been pretty busy with the new billing system. I've been working shifts with half hour lunches, which is why I haven't been able to do many lunch hour ramblings lately. Work itself has been busy, but in a good way. I've actually been able to relax and have some fun there lately.

Last week was just a busy busy week. Monday night after work I had to go to the car dealership to see about getting a new car. After a nerve-rattling credit check and about four hours at the dealership, I finally traded in my Neon and bought a 2001 Red Saturn SC1. It's a nice little car, runs good, and is very good on the gas mileage, which is important with all the driving I do. Then I went to Erin's house for Bible Study and to show it off. . .

Tuesday after work I went with Erin and her family to go see The Lion King play at Masonic Temple. That was quite an experience. The amount of work in the puppets, dancing, acting, and singing was just incredible. Even if you've seen the movie, I highly recommend it. It adds a lot of depth and emotion to one of the best films Disney has ever done. . .

Wednesday was school. Nothing big there.

Thursday night was a big catch-up night. Had to do my laundry, go grocery shopping, etc. Then I went to Erin's to watch the Frasier finale and ER's season finale. I had never been the most consistent Frasier watcher, although I always thought it was one of the sharper, funnier comedies out. The finale was about as good as they can get. They didn't cut out the laughs, it was just the right way to finish it. It was good. ER was kinda a letdown.

Friday night was Ryan's reception for all the friends who couldn't make it to Florida for the wedding. It was so much fun :) A lot of dancing (I actually got out on the floor twice--once with my sister for the wedding party dance and the other with Erin), visiting with old friends, and just hanging out.

Saturday I spent most the day cleaning the apartment, and I have to say it looks pretty darn good. Then Erin and I went to see Troy, which was a pretty good movie. No Gladiator or Braveheart,but entertaining nonetheless. A few groaners of scenes, and I thought they overkilled Achilles' need to be remembered for eternity, but still it was good. . .

Today was church and then dinner with my family. Now I'm getting ready to head back to my parents' to watch the 24 episode I missed Tuesday and then hitting the movies again with erin to see Super Size Me. Should be good. I'll write more later (I promise!)

C-Dubbs

Dude, Where's My Testosterone?

Wow, is it really the end of the day on Sunday already? It doesn't even seem like there was really a weekend here, it just went by so fast! Well, to any mothers who may read this, I hope you had a great Mother's Day!!

So, like I said, it was a pretty busy weekend. Friday after work I went with Erin and some of her friends to Chi-Chi's in Ann Arbor where her friend, Hannah, works. That was fun. Had a chimichanga. And then we all went to the movies and saw Mean Girls. I had thought it looked funny, and I knew Tina Fey--who is very smart--was the writer. But I wasn't prepared for how smart and funny the movie was. Not a typical teen girlie movie. It was actually very witty and funny. Good movie.

Saturday I worked a few hours of O.T. in the morning. Then I went home and napped a bit and hung around the apartment before finally going back to the Warren Community Center's Fitness Center for the first time since returning from Florida and had myself a good workout. Then my family went out for Dad's birthday to Damon's and then back to Mom and Dad's to watch the videotaped Friends finale, so it was all good there.

Today was church. The sermon was good, Sunday School was fine. Afterward was Mother's Day dinner at Papa Vino's, which I had only been to once years ago, but I really enjoyed today. Then I went home and cleaned out my car and took a quick catnap, went to my grandparents' house and then went to the movies with my family and Erin. We saw 13 Going on 30. Not near as funny as I had hoped it would be, and really too girlie for me to thouroughly enjoy (I need an action movie flick fast!) But any excuse to stare at Jennifer Garner for two hours is well worth it, in my opinion. She just has the most luminous smile and those dimples are so cute :) Then it was back to my place to lounge around, do my devotions, and do some of my law homework. And that, my friends, was my weekend.

Pretty busy week coming up. I'm working an early 7-3:30 shift each day, which is nice. Tomorrow after work I'm stopping by a car repossession auction to see if I can get a car. Then I'm going to Erin's for Bible Study. Tuesday night I'm seeing The Lion King with Erin's family. Wednesday is school. Thursday is still a big question mark, although laundry is going to be needed. Friday night I'm going to Ryan's reception and then it's on to the weekend.

Well, that's it. A rather dry update today. But I figured since I skipped yesterday, I should probably put something in there. Write later!

C-Dubbs

Farewell Friends. . .

So last night was the highly-anticipated Friends finale. Having been a big fan of the show for the past 10 years, I did watch it with high expectations, wanting to see how everything turned out for the six. And what were my thoughts?

I thought it was a very fitting way to send off the series. It wasn't as funny as a typical episode of the show, prefering instead to wrap up key plot points and get everyone where the fans wanted them to be. But it was a nice, heartwarming send off.

Stop reading now if you don't want to know what happens!!

I was a bit disappointed that more wasn't done with Joey and Phoebe's characters. But Joey will have his own show, so we'll see how he turns out. And Phoebe had her big moment earlier when she got married. Seeing Monica and Chandler get not just a baby--but TWINS!!--was a funny surprise. And, of course, the Ross/Rachel resolution WAS predictable back at the beginning of the season, but still brought a smile to my face just as well. I personally would have liked to see Rachel move to Paris and then Ross give everything up to go after her and have a reunion there. But then we wouldn't have gotten my favorite moment of the finale, which was the six just standing in the empty apartment, laying their keys on the table, and going out for coffee. That was a perfectly low-key way to end everything.

What I liked is that the producers and writers repected the fans with this finale. They knew what we wanted to see resolved. Not just the big issues, but the small nagging questions. What happened to the original duck and chick? Would Gunther ever have a chance with Rachel? Unlike Seinfeld's finale, which removed them from New York and from anything resembling the wit and tone of the show, the best thing I can say about this finale is that it felt like a final episode of Friends. Good job. I'll miss the show. . .

But I have to admit that it WAS a bit in bad taste to follow up Friends' miracle of birth finale with probably the most depressing ER ever, dealing with Carter's miscarriage. Some of the medicine I'm on carries the warning that it may make teenagers think suicidal thoughts. . . they need to affix that warning to the beginning of ER. Seriously, when did this show get to be such a downer?? This season there was that horrendously sad episode in the infant ward, Carrie loses her girfriend and baby, that one guys has a heart attack. The only time that ER has brought a smile to my face this season was with Dr. Romano's Wile E. Coyote moment with the helicopter. Smashing. Ah well. . .

So the weekend is here. Because I'm so broke, I'm not really doing much. Tonight I am supposed to go out to eat with Erin and a few of her friends to Chi-Chi's. Tomorrow morning I'm working some OT from 9-12, then I'll probably hit the gym, then we're going out for my Dad's birthday. Not sure what I'll do after. Sunday is Mother's Day, so we've got church and then dinner at Papa Vino's.

Well, that's about it for right now! I'll write later. . .
C-Dubbs

The cure for that lunchtime boredom. . . blogging!

I am running out of different things to put in that blog subject line. I'm going to either have to start repeating myself or really go off the deep end, I guess :)

So yeah, that fuel injection cleaner yesterday did squat to help my car. Now, not only am I out the $58 I spent on that, but I'm going to be out the $60 or so it's going to cost to get a tune up. And that's with Mother's Day coming up! And with money I really don't have. :( Frustrating, frustrating, frustrating.

There were too many unexpected hits that I wasn't prepared for with this paycheck. The gym debacle, the car debacle, the holiday/birthday hit. And of course it all happens on my tight paycheck when I'm already stretched because rent and insurance comes out of that. Sigh. I'm taking the night off school tonight to sit home and get a chance to breathe and relax an find out a plan to make sure I'm prepared the next time this happens.

In order to be proactive and help myself financially, I've decided to do overtime when it's offered. I'm doing some from 5-7 tomorrow, 7-8am on Friday, and from 9-12 Saturday, so that gives me 6 hours of overtime. It's nice because that's time and a half, plus they're offering us an incentive of $20 for every 2 hours of OT worked this week, which is an extra $60 for me on my paycheck, plus about $150 in OT pay on my May 28 check, which will help a lot. Next week, as my schedule gets a bit earlier, I'll probably do some more overtime.

Onto bigger and better things. Well, not bigger. But better. . .

24 was awesome again last night. 3 hours left and it is just roaring to the finale. Tony's betrayec CTU to save his wife! Palmer is going to have to face either resignation or jail! Jack is in charge of CTU and has to track down Saunders! I have to be honest that the first half of the season was good, but not up to par with what the series has done in the past. This last half of the season, though, has just been wonderfuly intense and twisted, and I know that there have to be some big surprises in store as it goes toward the season finale on May 25. Have to remember to have Dad tape it next week, because I'll be seeing The Lion King play with Erin and her family. . . .

Friends finale is tomorrow night (and yes, I scheduled my OT around it!) Although I usually laugh at people who say stuff like this, I am going to miss that show. The characters have grown on me over the years, and it's been cool to watch the actors mature the characters. Ever since Seinfeld started dipping in quality its last season, Friends has been the most reliable, consistently funny, non-animated comedy on televsion (you think I'm going to forget about The Simpsons?) Other than Everybody Loves Raymond, I don't know of a sitcom that's been able to pretty much guarantee me laughs and give me characters I actually care about. So tomorrow night, it's going to be sad to see them go. But I'm glad they're ending the series now before it wears out its welcome. . .

I desperately need to get back to the gym. Haven't been to the Warren Community Center since coming back from Florida, and I've only hit the apartment's fitness center twice. Tonight I'll probably go back for a bit, because it also gives me a chance to take the stress off. I just can't do school until I have all this financial stuff in order. Won't be able to focus. . .

Summer movie season starts Friday with Van Helsing! And I won't be seeing it, probably. Not until I get my next paycheck, at least. . .

Well, I have a few things I have to tackle with my remainding half hour. I'll write more later.

C-Dubbs

How much can I write in the five minutes I have to kill at work?

As the title implies, I'm just kind of jetting through things here. So these are going to be just little quick shots until I can get a better update written. . .

Not a very happy camper today. Went to get an oil change last night after work and it ended up costing $50. Plus, I have another $50 worth of a fuel injection cleaner procedure that I have to get done after work unless I want my car to wheeze down the road. Sigh. It wouldn't be so bad, but with this paycheck already the tight one with rent and insurance, plus my gym membership surprise, plus dad's and erin's birthday, mother's day and everything else, it's a majorly unwanted hassle :( One of those stresses that is way too much to even think about right now. . .

Erin watched Kill Bill last night (Volume 1) and suprisingly liked it! I was very shocked. I never would have thought of it as her kind of movie. But there it was. . .

Weather should get nicer this week. Here's hoping. . .

24 has 4 episodes left, including tonight's!! Can't wait for the finale on May 25!

Training should be done tomorrow. I never thought I'd say this, but it will be nice to start taking calls again, just to make things interesting. . .

Everything seems to be coming to a close here. Redwings got knocked out of the playoffs last night, and it seems like the dynasty they had is finally over. . . Friends hits their finale on Thursday. Frasier (which I don't watch anymore is coming up.) Wow, ends of an era, huh?

Well, time to skiddaddle! Talk more later!
C-Dubbs

Monday lunch thoughts. . .

Well, at least the weather started to change. It's not raining today. Cold, yes, but not rainy. And the sun's been out a bit. So I guess it's a start. Supposed to be in the upper 60s by the weekend, which is fine. I'll take that. . .

Another day of training today. Although today is much more interactive, which makes it less boring and actually kind of fun. Plus, again, I'm off the phones. That's an important point for me to remember...

I've been sleeping pretty poorly lately. Just tossing and turning. I think it's because my "good pillow" has been at my grandma's since I came back from Florida and now I just have my one pillow which gives no support. That, and last night for some reason Brandon had the A/C on for a bit. . .it was 40 degrees outside! That's heat weather! It was off when I woke up, so that's fine, but it was still cold in my room. . .

Bible Study is tonight after work. Before that, I really need to go get an oil change. My Neon's engine's been kind of knocking and grumbling, so I think that's what's necessary. It's been a bit over the 3 months, so it is about time. . .

Mother's Day is coming up Sunday, which means my Saturday morning after Bible Study will be spent planting flowers, which is the gift she wants. I don't mind. . . the funny thing is, last year I had a nice, relaxing few hours planting the flowers. I'm a gardner and I don't even acknowledge it!!

A pretty busy week this week, although for mainly frivolous reasons. Tonight is Bible Study. Tomorrow night I need to hit the gym after work and then I'm going to watch American Idol and 24. Wednesday is school. Thursday is the Friends finale. Friday night I'll probably see if Erin wants to catch a movie. Saturday evening is dinner for my dad's birthday. Wow! Busy stuff!

Well, it's about time for me to report back to the training class. I'll holler at ya'll later! (Could that sound more white coming from me?)

C-Dubbs

Sunday night. . .

Not a bad Sunday here. Kind of just normal and relaxing, but nice all the same. Church this morning was fine (I'll get to it in a moment.) After church, went to dinner with my parents. Then went home and took my usual way-too-long Sunday nap. Then I hit the fitness center, prepared for Bible Study and then went back to my place to chill for the evening. An hour of The Simpsons was on (praise God for small favors!) and then Erin came over and we watched Alias. Not too bad of a Sunday.

Tomorrow I'm looking at another eight hours of training classes. While it is pretty boring, I'm not really dreading it. It's off the phones and means I don't deal with the normal stress of work. Not too bad. Then I have Bible study at Erin's house, which should be good.

So today at church Pastor Bob talked about the world. It was a topic that God has been really hammering home in my life the past few weeks, and it was a lot that I needed to hear.

See, throughout the Bible we're told that if we're friends with the world, we're enemies with God. Jesus promised that if the world hated Him, they would hate us. When you're a Christian, you're made and enemy of the World.

And that's something I've been really feeling strongly about lately. I guess it started in Florida, when I got to be away from my usual trappings and distractions. There was a guy down there we met in Pensacola named Gary. Gary was in his 50s or 60s, had the leather skin of a beach bum, and hit the beach every day, boasting about how he was just down for 31 days at Spring Break. Some people may applaud that or say that's the good life. For me, it made me sick and it made me sad.

Last week at Bible study, we read in 1 Timothy how Paul viewed the end of his life as the final offering. He never got a retirement. The moment he went into the mission's field, his life was a succession of trials, imprisonments, beatings, shipwrecks, and illnessess. And to him, this was perfectly fine! That's the way he lived. . . for him, it was pure joy to sacrifice everything for Christ.

Now I ask myself: who's life would I rather have? Paul's or Gary's? And surprisingly, I find myself answering Paul. I want to be able to pour my life out to Christ and give every minute of it to Him, even if it costs me my relaxation, comfort, and (temporary) pleasure.

Our world would disagree with me and call me crazy. They say work hard so you can have the things you want. Retire and relax. Live for the moment. Get all you have so you can enjoy your short time here on the Earth.

You know what though? I'm sick of our culture telling me about these lies that promise everything.

I reject a lie that tells me I work to make as much money as I can so I can "live it up here."

I reject the lie that says the purpose of life is to enjoy every minute.

I reject the lie that tells me love is having someone to stare at with that deer in the headlights glance or go to the movies with and doesn't require any selfishness, work, or sacrfice.

I reject the lie that people are here for my pleasure and service.

I reject the lie that my worth can be measured by my job, pocketbook, or social status.

I reject, mostly, the lie that tells me meaning and joy can be found in something as sappy as falling in love, as fleeting as riches, and as unreliable as people.

I accept only The Word. And that is all I will strive to base my thoughts, actions, passions, and decisions upon.

I'm going to close this out with one of my favorite songs by Caedmon's Call.


This World

There's tarnish on the golden rule
And I wanna jump from this ship of fools
Show me a place where hope is young
And a people who aren't afraid to love

This world has nothing for me and this world has everything
All that I could want and nothing that I need

This world is making me drunk on the spirits of fear.
So when he says who will go, I am nowhere near.

And the least of these look like criminals to me
So I leave Christ on the street

This world has held my hand and has led me into intolerance
But now I'm waking up, but now I'm breaking up
But now I'm making up for lost time

A celebration of mediocrity. . .

Kind of a blase Saturday here. The weather has gotten cool and rainy after some weather that had been sunny and warm. I'm also tired and on sinus meds (again), so it's just kind of a crappy weekend day here. Lazy and boring.

Last night was fun. Took Erin out for her birthday. We went to a restaurant called East Side Mario's out in Livonia with some of her friends. I knew Alice, I met her friends Miriam and Natee who had just adopted a baby a few months ago, and Erin's receptionist Lena went too. It was a lot of fun and nice to meet some of her friends after I've had her around mine a lot. Then afterward, me and Erin went to Starbucks for a couple hours, which was very nice as well.

This morning we got up early and went to Oakland Mall to see William Hung in concert, which is how I came to the subject header for today. There were tons of screaming teenagers there all excited to see someone who would normally get booed out of a karaoke party. He only did about three songs.

The funny thing is, I'm sure that he knows how bad he sounds. But you can't deny how much he loves getting on stage (or the attention.) You can't really laugh at him when he's up there, because he's enjoying himself so thoroughly. Of course, we're the ones who've shelled out money for his cd and waited for hours at the mall to see him, so I guess the one who's to be laughed at is the crowd, right?

Bought the first season of Chappelle's show today. Funny stuff. Incrediblely offensive, of course, and I wouldn't recommend it for anyone not ready for that. But it's funny. And his take on race is so true and sad and funny at the same time. His sketch as the Blind Black White Supremecist is both unsettling and hilarious. Not near as gut-busting as season two, but still funny nonetheless.

So I've been putting off homework all day. I'll probably get to it tonight after I get in. It's law and it's dreadfully boring homework. But it shouldn't take too long.

Tonight I think Brandon and I are heading out to Memphis Smoke in Royal Oak for dinner and a good guys' night. We don't get many of those anymore, so it should be fun. Tomorrow's church, and I think I'm just going to take it easy tomorrow afternoon and evening. I've been running myself ragged and just need a day to rest after church is done.

Well, it's about time for me to get to other stuff, so I'll write later.
C-Dubbs