Me and the boys. . .

Sometimes a lazy day can be oh so sweet. I worked four hours today and I do the same tomorrow, due to my nice strategy of using my vacation time for halfdays instead of whole days every few months. It's a nice strategy. I work in the morning for a few hours and then I'm up and properly motivated for the rest of the day. Or, that's the plan. Sometimes I just go home, nap and watch a DVD.

Work started out as a case of SSDD (Same Stuff Different Day.) But thankfully my boss came around to monitor my calls and my focus picked up and I coasted to 11:30. Then I had a nice lunch with Erin out in Novi. Then it was back to my apartment to do some laundry, take a nap, watch some DVDs of Chappelle's Show and hit the gym.

Tonight I went to Royal Oak with Tim and Brandon for a few hours. It was such a nice night that we figured we wouldn't waste it sitting inside a coffee shop. So we grabbed some ice coffee and walked around and ended up sitting outside a parking lot for an hour and a half or so just talking and joking around.

The nice thing about having these nights with the guys is that you can really just be stupid for a bit. Yeah I took a bit of heat for my "Brad Pitt is hot" comment I made (intentions were good, but sadly I see why I got ragged on.) But it was still a fun night and good to get out and just laugh for a bit after a stressful week.

I'm just amazed how quickly everyone around me seems to be moving with life, though. Tim's getting married in December. Brandon's dating Diana. My friends are out of college and getting settled into their careers. Money is good for them. Really, there are no worries.

And me? Sometimes I wonder if you could compare my life four year ago with the life I live today and notice any differences. Yeah, I'm out on my own now. But has anything else changed? I'm at the same job I was in during college, albeit making a bit more money and working more hours. As for the dating scene. . . sorry, I was too busy laughing to answer that question. It's not that I have a bad dating life. . . it's more that it's nonexistent :)

Jeremiah 29:11 says that God has plans for us. That His plans are to give us a future and a hope. That His plans are not to harm us. Romans says ALL things work together for God's glory. And it's not that I don't believe that. It's just that sometimes you sit there, watching everyone else move on in life while you feel eternally stuck on pause. . . and part of me wants to yell "God, push the button and unfreeze my life! Let me move!"

In college it wasn't so frustrating. There was that understanding that you were in a bit of a holding pattern. You were learning job skills, just becoming acquainted with the world. Now, however, there's that awareness that this thing called "life" has begun in earnest. And what happens next?

I'll be 100% honest: much of the reason things are the way they are are completely my fault. I'm a person who lives life paralyzed in some instances by fear. Why am I working at a job I hate right now instead of getting my resume out and pursuing a new career? Because right now I have security where I'm at. Why am I single and bemoaning it? Because I haven't gotten the guts to go out and say the right things and allow myself to take some risks.

Fear is not a good thing. It's paralzying and frustrating. And it shows a complete lack of faith on my part. So I guess it's time to ask God to take my hand and show me where to go. I love the saying that truly defines faith for me, and so I'll close with it. Faith is trusting God when he leads you to a mountain top that if He asks you to jump off the mountain He's going to give you something to stand on or teach you how to fly.

C-Dubbs