Have you joined the squadron??

"Joyous" is not a word we get to use to describe our movies much nowadays. We can say "exciting." "Thrilling." "Entertaining." And these things are all great things. Spiderman 2 was a wonderful film that was all of those things. It entertained me. It thrilled me. It was exciting.

But experiencing pure joy in the cinema is a rarity. I'm talking the kind of joy that makes you giggle not because something's funny but because it makes you feel like a 10-year old kid again, transported back to those magic days when the world was in jeopardy by dastardly villains and dashing heroes and plucky damsels had to save the day. When you didn't question things that couldn't really happen and when your heroes didn't worry about psychology or feelings but simply rushed in to save the day.

Having bashed it earlier this week for having previews that appeared "corny," let me say that Sky Captain and The World of Tomorrow is the most thrillingly joyous time I've had at the movies since seeing Return of the King last year. It is easily the most entertaining film of the year and captures that feeling that I got when I finally saw the original Star Wars trilogy (not the sucky new ones) or Raiders of the Lost Ark on the big screen. It's not perfect, not artsy, not deep. But then again, it is perfect because it's so darn. . . fun. Really, how can you not like a movie that starts with robots rampaging a 1930s New York that only existed in our imaginations, moves on to include world domination, British fighter squadrons led by a one-eyed Angelina Jolie, an island with prehistoric mutants, and ends with a joke that is legitimately funny because it's in the context of the movie!?

Now, Sky Captain is not Raiders of the Lost Ark, only because that film had the genius of Steven Spielberg and the reckless heroism of Harrison Ford as Indy. But I feel the best compliment I can pay would be to say that the only way Sky Captain could have been more entertaining would have been to have Spielberg himself behind the camera. As it is, it already feels like director Kerry Conran is the child that Steven Spielberg and George Lucas never had, as he integrates old movie nostalgia with the incredible special effects and a genuine talent for storytelling. The fact that he hails from only an hour away from where I live is so much the better. And this is his first movie?? I can't WAIT to see what he has up his sleeves!

First off, the look of this film is so pitch perfect. Honestly, had it not starred today's movie stars and had such great effects I would have been tricked into believing this was an actual serial from the 1940s. It's not just the sepia toned look. The editing, the hard boiled dialouge, the acting style that is miles away from Method. . . it's perfect. I was reminded of the old Superman cartoons my Papaw used to show me, which were obviously the inspirations for the film's New York scene. But other scenes. . . are they lying by telling me this was computer generated? Simply put, it's amazing to behold. The raid on New York city, the "ark," Franky's flying squadron. . . this is the movie I dreamt about as a kid and loved just as much today.

As perfect as the direction was, this film lived or died on the actors. Actors not of the right caliber who didn't understand the style of the film could have made it cheesy or groan-inducing. Instead, Jude Law and Gwyneth Paltrow seem to be channeling spirits of stars long past. Law is an actor I admire simply because he really can take on any role. His Sky Captain is the hero from the 40s who jumps recklessly into danger, trades barbs quickly, and doesn't think about his life for a moment. Gwyneth Paltrow's Polly Perkins is wonderful. Plucky, witty, mischevious. Finally, a movie where the heroine is not a damsel in distress or just eye candy. When Paltrow gets a good role, she is pure magic, and this film is perfect for her. Angelina Jolie only logs about 15 minutes of screen time, but she's much better here than she was in the awful Tomb Raider films.

But I'm taking this too seriously now. Sky Captain is pure Saturday matinee fun that you won't even regret paying full price for on Friday night. I giggled throughout it and there was a big smile on my face as the plot jumped from one point to another. There was applause in our theatre when it was done and I joined right in. I plan on seeing it again, and think taking my grandfather would be the perfect gesture.

This movie is the rare film that is uncynical and totally intent on just being fun. There's been so much talk about a fourth Indiana Jones movie, but I'm ready to say screw it. Spielberg's doing the best work of his career in the new directions he takes, Harrison Ford is getting old, and George Lucas is a shell of the man he once was. Forget Indy. Bring on a new Sky Captain film!

C-Dubbs

You're fired. . . wait. . . WHO'S fired!??

Man, I love "The Apprentice." Trump's catchphrases, the nutty black chick who's just. . . um. . . nutty, Carolyn's reactions to everything said in the boardroom. But I especially love it for surprises like tonight's when "The Braford" gave up his immunity as a "show of support for his team" (another name for trying to suck up to Trump and show off his pride) and it cost him continuation of the game. What a stupid decision, as The Donald told The Bradford (now aka The Unemployed) over and over again. Great show :)

Brad thought his plan was a good one. After all, be willing to take one for the team when he really was doing pretty well would have curryed some favor with them and The Donald, in his mind. But his plan backfired and The Donald uttered those magic words, "you're fired" to him and sent him packing. . . something he neglected to do before going to the boardroom in the first place.

Isn't that how life goes? We make our plans, confident that they will be pulled off and foolproof and lead to our success. And we are so sure of the future that we hinge everything on our plans and schemes. And then the rug gets pulled out from us and we find our plans shattered and our dreams thrown to the wind. If I had gone by the plans I had for myself I would be married with kids by now, a Pulitzer-winning journalist, living in a nice house in Chicago. But, as everyone knows, that didn't happen.

We are legitimately surprised by the changes and about-faces that can occur in life and I think that's to be expected. But one thing I noticed I tend to do is get mad at God and think He's not playing fair, not following the rules. . . .as if God could break the rules. . . He MADE the rules!! But we wonder why God is taking what we consider to be cheap shots. But it's not like we weren't warned.

Coincidentally with Bradford's foolishness, tonight I also studied Proverbs 16 (which also contains some verses about pride going before a fall, but that's another story). But at three different points in the chapter, verses popped out and struck my heart like bullets.

"The preparations of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord." Proverbs 16:1

"A Man's heart plans his way, But the Lord directs His steps." Proverbs 16:9

"The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord." Proverbs 16:33

The illusion of control. We're told we live in a world where we can accomplish anything we set our mind to. That we can take control of our destiny. But that's not the truth. Our schemes are just that. . . schemes. They may or may not come true. We can find ourselves living life just like we thought we would or finding different detours around the way into a future we never even considered. One's not better than the other. It's simply the route that God wants us to take.

We can get mad about that. What if I want to get married and God doesn't have that in store? What if I'm stuck at the same job forever? What if I never make more money than I make right now? If I get mad about that, what does it say about the things I value? If I'm supposed to prize God about all and be living for His glory, what does it say about my faith if I get mad that the path to glorifying God doesn't involve making Chris rich, famous, and . . . um. . . un-single?

The other things in life--job, relationships, money, things--are all nice things. But they're not the main things in life. They're the icing on the cake that we may or may not get. It's not our place to get upset over the path that God has planned for us. Because if we are really prizing Him above anything and our ultimate destination is His glory, then why should it matter to us the route we take?

So what do we do? Thankfully, Proverbs 16 didn't leave me hanging. It gave me an answer right there:

"Commit your works to the Lord and your thoughts will be established." Proverbs 16:3

C-Dubbs

MIDWEEK RAMBLINGS. . .

So, it's the end of the day on Wednesday. The work week is over halfway done. Two more days and the weekend will be here. It's been an alright week. Work has been busy, but that's to be expected. I haven't done too much. It was payday today. Same old, same old. . .

I really need to get cracking with my packing (corny rhyme intended). We get our keys to the new apartment tomorrow and I don't have one single thing boxed up. Not that I have a lot to move. The major things that I need to box up are my DVDs, books, and games. Clothes I can move over slowly. Silverware and kitchen stuff we'll probably have to do in shifts next week. But it's getting closer. It will be nice to be in the new place. . .

Really thankful that God has given me the strength to get through work with a good attitude these past few days. I've been trying to pray right when I wake up and it seems to be helping. I've been in a better attitude at work and have been less tired when I get home (although I still take a nap). . .

Tonight was the first night of my Bible Doctrines class at church. I'm looking forward to it. It will be nice to get an organized look at what our church believes and hopefully be challenged on the issues I'm trying to grasp. . .

Weekend's coming up with no real big plans. Friday night I'll hopefully be going out with Erin for coffee to talk about some things. Saturday night we're going to take Charles out for his birthday. Sunday is church. Simple things. I'd like to catch a movie. I have a free pass to AMC theatres that I want to use, so maybe I'll do that. I still haven't seen Hero, which I've heard nothing but raves about. I'd also like to see Cellular, but I don't think my pass would be good for that since it's so new. Sky Captain is a possibility, but despite the rave reviews I'm hearing for it, it still looks a tad corny. I like the idea behind it--I'm a big fan for Raiders of the Lost Ark-type nostalgia and the idea of so much computer work is intriguing--but it looks silly and although the effects sound impressive, everything looks very blurry in the previews. But the cast is intriguing. . .

Oh yeah, and pack. I should definitely pack this weekend.

Alright, that's 'bout it. Time for bed.

C-Dubbs

Tuesday Night Thoughts. . .

Psalm 8:4-5:

What is man that You are mindful of him, And the son of man that You visit him? For you have made him a little lower than that angels, and You have crowned him with glory and honor.

You know, it's pretty easy to get down on ourselves and think we have so much going against us. We don't look good enough. We don't have enough money. We don't have the job we want. We're single. Our apartment is too small. Our debt is too large. And we get in a funk where we begin to think that life is just not as good as it could be, that we are surrounded by problems on every side and somehow God is simply loading problems on us.

We have some nerve, don't we?

After all, what are we? We like to think we're main players in the story of our lives. But what are our lives? We're here for, what, 70 years? Think about history. For thousands of years, billions have lived and died. Some are remembered as great people. Others have been forgotten. And it's easy to look at that and think we're just one more person lost in a sea of billions. And to ordinary people, we may be. And for some reason, we've believed the lie that it's those people whose opinion of us counts. Even when we're out of high school, we still live with this sheep mentality that the crowd is always right and we live to impress others when, in reality, we will be forgotten by most people.

And yet we rarely stop and consider the fact that we are looked down upon and cared for personally by the One who does matter. The one who crafted the earth and keeps everything in motion. He looks not just through the sea of billions of people who live today, but through the billions who have ever lived and will ever live. He searches through creation, through every organism, microorganism, galaxy, and cosmo and still intervenes in our puny little lives.

God doesn't just make sure we keep breathing. He directs our paths each day. He leads us closer to Him. The Bible says He dances over His children! He rejoices in doing good for those who love Him! He hears every prayer we whisper, whether it's for the cancer invading our lives or for our need for a few extra bucks or a date on Friday night. When I stop and consider so much in the universe and every person who has ever lived, I'm speechless at the thought that God still lovingly and joyfully guides me every day.

This song talks about that:

Who Am I
by Casting Crowns

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt

Who am I?
That the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am.. I am Yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
and watch me rise again

Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am... I am Yours

I am Yours.I am Yours
Whom shall I fear?Whom shall I fear?
'Cause I am Yours,I am Yours.


C-Dubbs, Out!

Monday

Like many people, Monday morning came today like a piano crashing on Wile E. Coyote. After a relaxing weekend, how depressing it was to hear my alarm go off at 6:30 and know I had to be at work in an hour to start a five-day week of being yelled at. I laid in bed for a moment, knowing I had to get up but not wanting to face the day. There was a part of me thaat wanted to say "to heck with the consequences," throw the covers over my head and sleep the day away. I did not want to face the day.

But then I stopped and prayed. I asked God for strength. I asked him to give me a reason to get out of bed. And that's when I heard the old song that we sang in Sunday School as children going through my head, right from the Psalms.

"This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it."

I'd be lying if I said that my attitude did an about face right that second. But that sentence reverberated through my brain as I showered, dressed, brushed my teeth and hair and prepared my coffee. Whatever I thought about the day, whatever problems it held, this day was from God. He could have chosen to end all existence overnight. He could have chosen to take me Home in my sleep. But He didn't. He woke me up. He made sure that I was awake to face the day because He had a specific will in it. Even if His will for the day was that I just learned to appreciate His planning, this day was prepared by Him for His glory.

That thought led me over to Isaiah 6 later today. In Isaiah 6:5, the prophet sees the angels around the throne proclaiming,

Holy is the Lord God Almighty. The Earth is filled with His glory.

And I began thinking about that. So often, I wake up and dread the day. I drive to work expecting the worst. I can't wait until I get back home and can get to bed. I want the circumstances to go my way and I want to be able to have a smile on my face 24 hours (yeah, even while I sleep.)

But we all know that the days don't go like that. We're lucky to make it to lunch without being frustrated with people. When we leave work, there are days when we feel like we've escaped by the skin of our teeth. And we can go home and say "it was a bad day."

I know that it's somewhat a matter of semantics (and I'm always up for some antics), but I wonder how trite and arrogant and selfish it us of us to announce that "it's been a bad day."

After all, doesn't everything good come from God? And aren't we told to rejoice in the day the Lord has made? Isn't the Earth filled with God's glory? Aren't we commanded to take joy even n our trials?

And yet, we don't. I don't. Why? Because I'm selfish. I think the world revolves around me getting what I want. I'm not happy unless I have everything I think I need. But life isn't about me. This isn't some story starring Chris. This is the tale God is weaving and He is the master plotter, knowing what He needs to do. And my prayer for me is that when I wake up in the morning and face those rough days that I'll be able to counter them with the wonderful promise of 2 Corinthians 4:17,

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.

Can't wait 'til tomorrow.

C-Dubbs

Is This Really Post 200??

Wow, what a cool little anniversary to hit. 200 posts. Alrighty.

So, today I went and saw Napolean Dynamite. This has been the "sleeper" word-of-mouth hit of the summer. Erin thought I'd get such a kick out of it that she paid my way.

Thank goodness I didn't have to spend one red cent.

I'm not adverse to stupid humor at all. I hold Dumb and Dumber in high esteem and even have been known to laugh uproariously at portions of Dude, Where's My Car? And I can see why others might find Napolean Dynamite funny. But I didn't at all. I felt the characters were all so unlikeable and one-dimensional that I couldn't care for them at all. I didn't like Napolean; the entire movie I wanted that magic ticket from The Last Action Hero so I could go onscreen and de-pants him. The problem with it is that it wants us simply to laugh at his hero. He's a depressed, angry kid who doesn't really have a genuine emotion at all. The other problem is that everyone around him is just as unlikable. There is not a single person for us to relate to. At least with Dude Where's My Car we can laugh because those two stoners are so over the top stupid but kind of sweet. In Dumb and Dumber, Harry and Lloyd exist in our normal world and so we have a point of reference. Here, everyone is just as inane as the hero and the hero is the type of person you would go out of your way to avoid. Ugh. Not my cup of tea.

But, on the plus side, I got a new book tonight at Borders. A few weeks ago Aaron Lawless had recommended John Piper's book The Pleasures of God to me. Although I was just getting back into Desiring God, I decided to pick it up and start this one because a new book is always great to delve into. I've only gotten through the introduction, but I've spent much of the night just chewing on that. Piper spends most of the introduction focusing on a quote from 1677 and author Henry Scougal.

"The worth and excellency of a soul is to be measured by the object of its love."

In other words, as Piper quotes:

He who loveth mean and sordid things doth thereby become base and vile; but a noble and well-placed affection doth advance and improve the spirit unto a conformity with the perfections which it loves.

So that got me thinking. Obviously, the greatest thing that I could love would be God. That shouldn't be a surprise. In Matthew 22:37 we're commanded to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. And I'm sure that it's easy enough to say I love God. Most Christians spout that out without a second thought. But as I went on my walk tonight I began to meditate on that.

If I truly loved God with everything I am, than wouldn't I be a better type of person? If all that I prized was God, then wouldn't my actions follow? If that's not the case, and I constantly find myself ashamed of my actions and words, then maybe I don't love God as much as I thought I did or should. So I asked myself two questions to gauge how well I'm thinking of God as the most valuable thing in my life.

First, if I love something, it's going to be something that brings me joy. After all, we're told in Psalms 1 that the blessed man's delight is in the law of the Lord. We're told to rejoice in the Lord. The word "gospel" simply means "good news," and good news should make us joyful. So am I deriving my joy from God and all that He offers?

Sadly, I look at my life and I see so many areas where I'm doing just the opposite and turning to sin for a moment of happiness. It feels so good and justifable to make a snide comment about a customer, to just "vent" in traffic, to just entertain those illicit thoughts for a moment or so. But of course, like any sin, those drive me to me knees after I feel empty and rotten. So I look and see that there are far too many areas where I am not delighting in the Lord, which shows just how much I need to depend on Him to increase my love for Him.

After all, if I love something or someone, shouldn't it bring me joy? After all, I love my friends. My friends make me happy and I take immense joy in being with them. I love movies and I have moments of joy and reflection when I see a good film. In and of themselves, those things aren't bad. But why do I turn to those things for joy when times get tough instead of running straight for God's word or bowing my knees in prayer? Shouldn't He be my refuge instead of people who will fail me and films which will disappoint me.

Going back to Psalm 1 also helped me with my second point that I was meditating on. Because it says the blessed man's "delight is in the law of the Lord and on this law he meditates day and night." I don't think it means that he loves the law because he meditates on it day and night, because obligation rarely produces love. But, like a man will want to be with his love day after day, this man returns to the Word day and night because He loves it so much.

So where are my thoughts? Far too often my thoughts at work are on the clock and the relaxation awaiting me after a hard day. My thoughts are on what I'll do for entertainment or how I'll spend money or how I'll get out of my job. Far too often my thoughts are on my worries and stresses... the very things that I'm seeking to avoid become idols as they rob my thoughts of time that could be spend meditating on God's Word. Yes, I do my devotions and yes I have my time in prayer. But day and night? There's a long way to go.

And so I realize that my love for God is so much weaker than I want. I'm so thankful His love for me is infinitely stronger. I'm so thankful that His love and His patience will help me grow and mature and love Him more. Because on my own, I would be lost.

C-Dubbs

In lieu of a nap...

I'm actually going to the movies with Erin and some friends in about an hour, so I figured that I'd skip the traditional Sunday nap today, although it breaks my heart to do so. We're going to see Napolean Dynamite, which I have to confess I'm not too thrilled about. But Erin really liked it and is paying my way, so I guess it's all good. I just figured I'd spend some time before that catching up with my blog. Don't worry; unlike yesterday, this will be short.

So yesterday ended up being an alright day. I spent most of the afternoon just lounging around the apartment, doing laundry, taking a nap, and watching TV. At night I went to a service at Erin's church that was pretty good. It's nice to be able to go to some of those small, informal worship services. Sometimes I get more out of those than a Sunday at church, simply because you're given more of a chance to open up in a more intimate setting. Afterward, Erin and Christina and I went to Bennigan's for dinner, which was nice because Bennigan's is becoming an endangered species around here. The two that were close to me have closed down awhile back.

After that, it was still pretty early for a Saturday, so I went back to my apartment and watched When Harry Met Sally. . . Although I'm a 25 year old guy, I have to admit that the right love story can really affect me, and this is one of the classics. The story is so close to where I've been so many times in life, that it pulls all the right strings when I watch it. I identify so much with Billy Crystal's character, who views dating relationships as a way simply to fill the lonely void in his life without truly opening up and afraid to confess to his one true love. A great, funny, moving film.

Today was church. Pastor Bob talked about the different aspects our church has and it really got me thinking about how I can use my gifts more in the church. I'm starting to pray about that and hoping I will get more involved. This Wednesday night I start taking a Bible Doctrines course that I'm looking forward to. Should be interesting.

After church I grabbed some Taco Bell and took it back to my apartment. Did my devotions and then read some more of Desiring God, by John Piper. I read the book about a year ago and was so encouraged by it that I've made a commitment to myself to read it at least once a year. This time I'm moving very slow through it. I read some more of his views on Worship, and the idea of worshipping in Spirit and in Truth. It's so amazing to realize that that is exactly what God has called us to in life. Worship is what we are supposed to be doing with our lives. It's our response to the greatness of God! How amazing to be called to a life of that!

Well, I gotta grab a shower and clean out my car before I leave. Write later!

C-Dubbs

May We Never Forget. . .

The date 9/11 still is chilling, isn't it? I doubt it will ever be just another day to us. Even just mentioning that date when jotting it down in a planner or finalizing plans with someone stops us cold for a second. Three years later we still grow quiet when we see the image of the World Trade Centers on an old movie or TV show. My sister recently visited Ground Zero on a trip to New York and remarked how silent it is when you pass by. Just this morning I watched a DVD that documents that horrible day and I was still sobered and silent by those images that horrified us that Tuesday morning. This entry is going to run very long because I want to make sure that I never forget that day. I have two journals by my side. One has an entry in it from three days after the attacks, the first day that I was able to compose myself enough to write about what had happened. The other has an entry from last year on September 11, 2003 and the lessons I had learned two years later. And if I have the time I want to compose my thoughts from three years down the road.

First, from 9/14/2001. . .

Now that I've had some time to sit and collect my thoughts, I think I can write about the horrible things that happened this week. Probably the best way to do it is just to tell things from my perspective.

Sept 11 actually started out as a good morning, not much different than any other Tuesday. I woke up on time, did my devotions, and actually headed out the door at 8:25, which is earlier than I planned. It was a warm, sunny day and I decided to drive to school with the sunroof open. I stopped at Tim Horton's on my way to school and picked up some coffee and a muffin like I did every morning, and then--caffeine in hand--I hit the road.

There wasn't much traffic on the freeway, although it was the usual Detroit stop-and-go. But, oddly, even that didn't really bother me. I switched on the radio and listened to Drew and Mike harass some old nut who thought he was something special because he took all these commercial flights to get around the world in something like 61 hours. I even got a good laugh as I looked up the electronic billboard on I-75 to see the caption Drew and Mike had about the guy. "Conceited Plane Dork."

It was the last time I'd laugh for a very long time that day.

After the guy hung up, Drew & Mike realized their phone lines were lighting up, with callers telling them the same thing: turn on the TV, a plane's hit the World Trade Center in New York. So tehy obliged, and I listened to them talk about what they were looking at: one of the world's tallest buildings had smoke pouring from it and a large hole in the side from where the plane had hit. To listen to them, it just seemed to be the most bizarre thing.

"How in the heck does a pilot miss the World Trade Center?" I asked in half-shock/half-amazement. But I wasn't going to be given the answer.

"Oh my Gosh!!" I suddenly heard the radio announcers exclaim. "Did you see that?!" It seemed that as they were watching, a second jet slammed into the second tower, erupting in a huge fireball.

My stomach sank at that. One plane hits the World Trade Center, it's a tragic accident. TWO planes hit, 20 minutes apart, and you know it was deliberate. I switched over to news radio and tried to see what else was going on. But it was mass confusion.

I considered not going to class. As a journalist I wanted--needed--to get to a TV or stay by a radio. But I had an obligation. Plus, I figured, the planes had crashed. I could get back out to my car after school and catch up on the news when I got back.

So I went to class and spent two hours listening about Civil War and Reconstruction. I took notes about America's history, and all the while my teacher, my class, and myself were unaware that history was being written outside.

I got out of class and that was when I first knew something was wrong. EVERYONE was on a celll phone. A girl pulled me aside. She didn't know me, but she said it was important.

"Have you heard what's going on with our country?" She asked. "Two planes blew up the World Trade Center, a bomb went off in the Senate, and they crashed another plane into the White House."

I dismissed it and started walking to my car. Then I turned on my cell phone. I had a voice mail, which was weird, because everyone knew I was in school. It was my mom. I was to call as soon asa I got it. I called and asked mom what happened.

"Don't you know?" she asked.

"Well, I was listening to the radio and heard that two planes crashed into the World Trade Center."

"Chris," she said," There IS no World Trade Center anymore. They collapsed after the plane hit. Anotehr plane crashed into the Pentagon. And another crashed in Pennsylvania, but they think it was headed for another target. They think another country or some terrorists are attacking us and trying to start a war. They say it's like Pearl Harbor."

It wasn't one thing in those words that scared me. It was every statement, each one making my stomach turn. The Twin Towers had collapsed; the two buildings that symbolized New York, capitalism, America. Gone. Destroyed. All those people trapped inside.

All these plane crashes. The Pentagon was hit? But wasn't that supposed to be our symbol of strenght? Weren't they our military? Weren't they the guys who were supposed to stop things like this from happening? And how did they hijack four planes? this wasn't just one nut trying to make a point. This was a strategic attack; someone had been smart enough to know what planes to take, when to taken them, hw to take them, and exactly where to hit us the hardest.

But it wasn't like Pearl Harbor, because--in some odd way--Pearl Harbor was almost justifiable. It was a military base. They were soldiers. They were military men who knew the risks. These were civillians who were at work, flying home, sightseeing. In war you don't kill innocent people. There are rules. Only madmen break them.

This was America. This wasn't supposed to happen here.

"I heard they were evacuating a lot of buildings in Detroit," my mom said. "Just to be safe. Are you still down there?"

I was, I told her, but I'd be fine. I hung up and headed out to my car, turned on newsradio and started heading to my internship.

It was confusion all over the country. Air traffic was shut down all over the United States. . . it would be two days before anyone anywhere in America was able to fly. Schools were closed or on lock down. Big businesses were evacuating. The border between Detroit and Canada was stop and go. And there were rumors everywhere: one plane was surrounded in Alaska, there was another heading for the White House, Camp David was under attack. People were panicking.

And panic is contagious. I drove to my internship, trembling as I listened to the radio. I was afraid of every car that got a little too close, every intersection that seemed a little too prominent. I jumped at every noise and tried to tell myself that none of thsi was happening. By the time I got to work, I was shaking violently. I thought I was going to throw up.

Over the past few days I've seen some of the most shocking, horrible images ever. The second plane slamming into the twoer. People jumping 110 stories to their death. The twin towers collapsing into a massive tomb of rubble. I heard the figures of a death toll expected to be around 5,000. I listened to the tales of hijacked passengers ordered to call home and tell their loved ones they were going to die. I heard a wife's answering machine message to her husband, telling him she was stuck in the World Trade Center and she just wanted to say how much she loved him.

Every time I hear or see those reminders, I feel a rush of emotion. I'm sad. I'm scared. I'm angry. Our entire nation feels vulnerable for the first time. And the future is uncertain. What happens next? Do we go to war? Whaat if it happenes again? Will we EVER be the same?

And where is God?

I know that's a horrible thing to ask, but it's the question that's been in my mind. War is bad enough. But why would God let some evil pepole highjack four planes filled with men, women, and children? Why would God let 3,000 innocent people die without even knowing why? Why would a loving God allow any of this to happen? Why would He allow a nation like ours to live in fear? Why does He let the evil triumph? Is He even there?

We say it's all part of His plan. But isn't there an easier way to carry out His plan? It just seems like only a sick God would have a will that works this way. .Can I even believe that a God who would do this is loving? Can I even believe there is a God?

These are questions I've been asking all week. And, to be honest, I'm having a hard time coming up with answers.

I know there's a God. I've come to terms for that. And I know He loves me. He settled that on the cross.

But why would Tuesday happen? I don't know. We can say it's all part of God's plan. . . and I KNOW it is. . . But it still feels like a bit of a cop out. I can say anything and say it's a part of God's plan, can't I? I just have a hard time saying that. I don't like that it's part of God's will. And, to be honest, there's a big part of me that's angry with God for letting this happen.

But the truth is, it is part of God's plan, whether I like it or not, whether it makes sense or not, whether it hurts or not. And it might all make sense one day. We might see a giant revival, where thousands see His power.

But we might not.

Why did God let this happen? I don't know. But I don't think cluing us in as to the "why's" of His way is God's big priority. Maybe we have to come to the conclusion that His will is so much bigger than a person, a city, even a nation. Maybe we have to accept it.

After all: God is God, and I am not.

I know that was long, but coming out of that week was a big ordeal. This is from 9/11/2003, written two years after the tragedy:

The old saying is that time heals all wounds. In a sense that's true. Given time, we get back into the swing of things. A broken arm mends and can get back into old activities just like new. AFter bed rest and recuperation a sick mperson can return to life as normal.

But I'm finding that not all wounds heal completely. Bumped just right, that familiar pain can shoot right up the arm. By not adhering to the medications, sickness can invade once again. And some wounds, especially the emotional ones, don't completely mend. Oh, they heal enough for us to return to normal life. We laugh, we love, we live. But sometimes life takes the occassion to pull at thse wounds, peel back the scabs. And the pain floods back, the tears well up, and we wonder if we'll ever be completely healed.

Two years ago, we were wounded. As a nation, we felt our security get battered. Our courage was hit. Our hearts were pierced. And for a time, we wondered if life would ever be the same again. Was it okay to laugh? How long should we cry?

Time passed. Slowly life went back to resemble something normal. And although our day-to-day life went on, we could still feel the fear and heartache every now and then as a tragedy, still fresh in our minds, was analyzed and replayed on TV. Soon, a year came and again we mourned. We cried, but we hoped those tears would bring closure. One year and life was still the same. Wasn't that progress?

And here we are again. Another yeaar has passed and life is starting to look more like it did before 9/11/2001. We can criticize the president again. We don't feel guilty debating something as frivolous as movies. Our TVs are filled with the inane wedding preperations of Ben and Jen (ed. not: now it's Brittney and Kevin.)

And yet here we are again. September 11. And we are not at the point where this can be just a regular day on the calendar. Driving to work the radio was replaying transcripts and descriptions of the attacks. The news replayed the horrifying images of planes slamming into the twin towers. My own mind retreated back to the fear and confusion that reigned over the nation that horrible morning and my heart broke again with the sorrow of the week after. And I wondered, "When will we be whole?"

Anyone who ever exercized can sympathize with the phrase, "the pain means it's working." As our muscles grow and stretch and develop, there's pain associated with it. After an accident it's better that the victim feels pain than to be numb because it meanas the body's doing it's job right.

Is it the same with grief? I think it is. The tears tell us we haven't lost our ability to mourn, feel, and care. The tears tell us we're working okay.

I dread the day when Sept. 11 becomes just another day. When we look at it simply through a history book and don't allow ourselves to weep for the lost. My stomach turnes at the idea that one day this horrible even could be seen as entertainment and spectacle on the big screen.

When will be whole? Well,, we know it won't happen until our Savior comes and wipes every tear from our eyes. But I think while we're down here, it's important to remember that wholeness doesn't mean a refusal to grieve. The ability to weep, laugh, and care is what makes us human.

Before we know it, another year will have passed and September 11, 2004 will be here. We should consider it a blessing on that on that day we can still be brought to tears by the memories of tragedy. And when we lose that ability to mourn and grieve is when we'll realize something's missing.

So now it's 9/11/04. And I feel we've lost the impact of that day. Sept. 11 is something we use as a political ploy. Bush uses it to remind voters of his triumphs as President. Kerry uses it to show why we need change. Michael Moore uses it to sell movie tickets. We use a day of death and tragedy to point fingers and allow people to be afraid and submissive to our government. We've used it to call attention to people of other nationalities and used it as an excuse to launch a war on Iraq.

But we cann't forget the sorrow of 9/11/01. We can't forget the lives that were lost, the nation that was crippled (but healed), and the lessons we learned.

Never forget.

C-Dubbs

The Bachelor's Blog. . .

Ugh, the bane of being 25 and single. Weekends suck. Your friends are out in their couples and you're left alone with the TV and some pizza (or a sub from Quiznos in this case.) Of course, I've never been one to really hate being single, until this year when it started to be hammered home that I'm getting older.

I'm not one of those people out there who believes singleness is a sin. I've heard that argument before and I disagree vehemently with it. Just because someone is hitting their 20s doesn't mean that all of a sudden they should be looking to get married. People need time to grow and discover themselves and get a feel for who they are and what they're looking for. My years as a single adult have also been a good time for me to grow in my relationship with God.

People always assume that because you're single, you're lonely. I couldn't disagree more. I've always had plenty of friends around. If all I wanted was to have someone to see movies with or keep me busy, I'd be dating for the wrong reasons anyway. I've seen so many people scarred by heartache and heartbreak that I've always figured I'd bypass that and just jump into the dating scene when I feel led.

Unfortunately, as you get older, your pool of options change. Especially if you're a Christian.

See, in college you had a vast amount of options. You had plenty of people around your age at church who used to be in your youth group. At school there were plenty of members of the opposite sex around you both in class and on campus. You were constantly out and about with friends and there was always the opportunity to meet new people. If you weren't a Christian, you could go to the bars. If you were a Christian, there was always Intervarsity or some friends' Sunday School class.

After college, though, the times get rougher, especially for those of us who don't hit the bar scene. I work with women who are not only of a different race and culture than I am, but also much older. In school I'm surrounded by middle-agers giving it a second shot at their masters. I'm not out and about as much as I used to be. My options are my friends, the girls at my church and the internet. And nothing is giving me much hope. Um, especially the internet.

I guess I should be worried about where I'm going to meet the future Mrs. Dubbs. But I don't think worrying ever solved anything. This is the time when you buckle down, pray and trust God. He could reveal the special person for me tomorrow. He may never have someone for me. It's not my job to second-guess him. I'm happy and content as a single. . .but that doesn't mean I don't desire more. But the key is to desire God more than a significant other because that's where my true joy will be found.

C-Dubbs

The Return of Must See TV!!!! Thursdays have a purpose now!!

Someone tell me why a cold pill that's supposed to last 12 hours wears off within 9 and yet a medicine designed to put you to sleep messes with you all day!! I swear, this is nuts. For my sinuses I took an Aleve at around 1:00 that was supposed to last 12 hours, but now everything else is starting to come back. Yet I took some Nyquil last night before bed and I've been groggy all day. Yuck!

Oh well, at least tomorrow's Friday. One last day before the weekend. Not that anything big's coming up. But in two weeks I'm moving, so that's about it. And any day where there is no work is a good day, right?

Today wasn't too bad. Work was frustrating, but it always is lately. I've decided most my customers have IQs lower than the common household plants. I've also decided that anyone over the age of 60 probably should not have a cellular phone. But really, I have this job because I love people ;-)

After work I went to my Nana's for dinner. She had made a big southern hillbilly dinner of ham, roast potatoes, corn, beans, and cornbread. I told Erin she HAD to come because it was so good. It was delicious. Then it was back to my place for the return of NBC's Must See TV Lineup. Here's the rundown:

JOEY: I gotta tell you, I was kind of dreading this one. As a rule, most spin-offs are crap. You're trying to recreate lightning in a bottle. "Friends" worked because it was a witty show with a truly gifted cast that had great chemistry. You can't duplicate that. Thankfully, the producers of "Joey" don't try. The big, pleasant surprise of the evening was the fact that the show was actually very funny, kind of witty, and gave us the same Joey we know and love. If they had tried to make him smart, I think the show would've bombed, but thankfully Matt Leblanc still does dumb and sweet better than anyone. I like giving him a sister and nephew, rather than just putting him in a situation with new friends. Drea DeMatteo (sp?) is feisty and funny as his sister and I like the fact that a smart nephew might be a good foil for Joey. Although too dependant on breast implant humor, I laughed quite a bit during the pilot. It's not a sophisticated, smart hoot like "Arrested Development" (sadly, the most brilliant comedy on TV is also the most ignored). Nor do I see it surprasing "Friends" the way "Frasier" proved greater than "Cheers." But it's funny, the characters are likable, and I think it's going to be a fun show to watch.

The Apprentice: The show that made me give up "CSI." Of course, the first episode of a new season on a reality show is always tough, because you're getting to know a new batch of players. But I think this might be a fun season. The idea for doing a new toy was a cool challenge, and I was quite puzzled by Crustacean Creations. Let me get this straight. . . the women's team thought up a very cool, radio controlled car and the guys thought up. . . fighting fish?? Glad to see Rob go, but as always, it's The Donald that makes it worthwhile. The Boardroom scenes should be good this season. Already, some good players to keep an eye on. Raj, the guy with the bow tie, looks to be the odd one to laugh at. Stacy is going to flip out. And Bradford is on my bad list. . . simply because the guy called himself The Bradford. Ugh. Another great season, it looks like.

And that's the end of that chapter.

C-Dubbs

Ramblings and a late answer. . .

So, it was back to work today after a holiday weekend. Ugh. For starters, they changed my schedule on me at work this week so I was actually doing an 8-5 shift instead of my normal 7:30-4, which means rush hour traffic there and back. I don't handle changes--even slight ones--to my schedule very well, so I was pretty testy and impatient all day on the phones, glad to get out of there once the day was over. Thankfully I leave at 4:30 the rest of the week, so maybe I can get a jump on traffic. At least it's only a four-day work week.

Nothing much to do after work. Took a nap, ate some dinner, did my devotions, took a walk and then watched some TV. I'm finding "Scrubs" might be my new favorite sitcom now that "Friends" is off the air ("The Simpsons" doesn't count because anyone in their right mind will tell you it's hands-down the best show ever and therefore out of running.) Looking forward to seeing "Joey" on Thursday but REALLY excited about a new season of "The Apprentice"! Best reality show ever, in my opinion.

So, I wanted to get around to responding to a comment someone had posted on here a few weeks back. I had been talking about the disturbing trend I'm seeing of people in their 20s taking a "break" from church. I wholeheartedly agree that the American Church (and the church in general) is at a crisis point and people have been hurt by the church, but I responded that I don't think that the solution is to jump out of church altogether. We need to be part of a community of believers in order to serve God and help each other grow. There's no such thing as a growing believer who lives in isolation (if you want to read the post, it's somewhere back in August.)

The comment asked what I thought if someone had become very disheartened in church and was just going through the motions and couldn't pay attention to the pastor during the sermons. I think it's a very valid question because of the fact that it probably happens to everyone at one time, even the "strongest" believer. It happened to me a few years ago, which is one of the main reasons I ended up at Cornerstone. So I just want to share my thoughts on that in case this individual is still reading or if anyone else is struggling.

First off, I don't agree with just "going through the motions." Jesus said that we are to worship in Spirit and in Truth and He also rebuked those who worshipped him in traditions and actions but not with their hearts. And I think we all, from time to time, find ourselves just going to church out of obligation. However, I don't think the answer is to leave church because I think it sets ourselves up for a fall. The instant we think we can do better on our own is the first step in the wrong direction. But I do think our attitude of malaise and discontent has to be dealt with.

About three years ago I found myself in a similar situation. I was at a church that, quite honestly, was floundering. There wasn't a lot of honesty in the staff and some issues were brewing there and much of the congregation had fled. So I found myself, at only about 22 years old, leading the college program on Wednesdays and Sundays and doing the sound. And I would come to church and have a rotten mood all Sunday morning and stare at the pastor and wonder why I should listen to this man when he couldn't keep his own staff in line. Many Sundays I wanted just to stay in bed because it had to be better than going to that den of hypocrites. But I knew that I was commanded to not forsake the gathering of the saints and how important it was to be involved in a church. So I prayed and searched to word for direction and had to make a few bold steps.

The first was to check my own heart. Even now I'm at a church I love and yet I find mornings where I don't want to get out of bed and find myself stumbling into the service. But more often than not, it's my own heart attitude that is causing my thoughts to stumble. At my old church it was often my pride that I could do things better or that I knew better than some of the people over me. And I had to get many of those issues in check and realize that when I came to church I wasn't coming to hang out with friends, sing a few songs, or look like a good Christian. I was coming to worship and I had to make sure nothing was getting in the way of that.

When I had dealt with the heart issues, I found that I still wasn't being fed and I was still going to church and just going through the motions. That's when I think it's time to start thinking about whether or not you are to stay at the church you're at. While I feel it is EXTREMELY important to stay in church and EXTREMELY DANGEROUS to withdraw from church, I don't believe we are necessarilly called to the same congregation for our entire lives. God brings different people into our lives at different points because only He knows our true needs. I was at my old church for 10 years and God used many people there to help me grow spiritually and strengthen my walk. But after awhile, I found that I had grown stagnant and my Sundays weren't filled with worship.

So I decided to seek counsel from men I trusted who were unbiased. And thankfully they led me only to the Word. I thank God for a certain man in particular who met me at Denny's one night and led me through Scriptures that showed the markings of a healthy church and how a pastor was supposed to be. I had friends who prayed for me and I spent a lot of time in prayer. I had to consider leaving a church where my closest friends were. Many of my friends were either on staff or family members of the staff and I knew I would be possibly sacrificing close ties if I left. However, I knew that it was more important for me to be in a place where I could grow and I decided, after careful prayer and study, that it was time to move on.

I'm thankful that I did. God led me to a church that has met me where I am and challenged me spiritually. I have grown immensely since coming to Cornerstone. While I have seen friendships suffer from my old church, they have been replaced by new friendships that I am extremely thankful for and couldn't be without. Will I be there forever? I don't know. That's up to God. I don't know where He wants to take me in the coming years. But for now I'm very happy where I am.

The key, though, is that I don't think it's a safe thing to leave church. But I think sometimes God does put moments of discontent in our hearts to prompt us to head where we need to be. And I think it's so important to pray, study the word, and seek good counsel when making that decision. And also, I always caution to never expect a perfect church. Every church is full of humans and every human being lets someone down at one time.

Hope this helps, if you're still reading :-)

C-Dubbs

Happy Labor Day!

Hope everyone had a great holiday today. Erin and I went to the Renaissance Festival, which was a lot of fun but very tiring. I don't understand why some of those people would devote their lives to living like they're in the Middle Ages, but I guess whatever you're passionate about is what you're going to follow, right? My only question is why are those shows so crass? Seriously, those people have real talent. They don't need to load it up with double entendres and sexual humor in order to make it impressive. Sigh. Sometimes I just want Christ back RIGHT NOW. Especially living in a world where terrorists take over schools and kill hundreds of civillians. Ugh. I don't understand people.

So, tomorrow it's back to work. I spent too much money this weekend so I think I'll be taking this week and coming weekend a bit light. No grandiose spending. Good thing that Fall TV is getting back up. Gives me something to do.

Read a great quote by CS Lewis that has had me thinking tonight. It goes like this:

But the most obvious fact about praise--whether of God or anything--strangely escaped me. I thought of it in terms of compliment, approval, or the giving of honor. I had never noticed that all enjoyment spontaneously overflows into praise unless (sometimes even if) shyness or the fear of boring others is deliberately brought in to check it. The world rings with praise--lovers praising their mistresses, readers their favorite poet, walkers praising the countryside, players praising their favorite game--praise of weaather, wines, dishes, actors, motors, horses, colleges, countries, historical personages, children, flowers, mountains, rare stamps, rare beetles, sometimes even politicians or scholars. I had not noticed how the humblest, and at the same time most balanced and capacious, minds praised most, while the cranks, misfits, and malcontents praised least. . .

I had not noticed either that just as men spontaneously praise whatever they value, so they spontaneously urge us to join them in praising it: "Isn't it lovely? Wasn't it glorious? Don't you think that magnificent?" The Psalmists in telling everyone to praise God are doing what all men do when they speak of what they care about. My whole, more general, difficulty about the praise of God depended on my absurdly denying to us, as regards the supremely Valuable, what we delight to do, what indeed we can't help doing, about everything else we value.

I think we delight to praise what we enjoy because the praise not merely expresses but completes the enjoyment; it is its appointed consumation. It is not out of compliment that lovers keep on telling one another how beautiful they are; the delight is incomplete till it is expressed.

Like I said, that quote has been running through my mind all night, because it is at once so true and yet at once so missing in my life. I love to probe the Scriptures. I look forward to my quiet time because I know God has some great truths in store to reveal. But prayer has always been tough. Not the supplication, because of course I know how to approach God and ask for things. Not even confession, because I'm honest enough to know I'm far from perfect. But praising God in prayer has always seemed like work. Always been a bit of a chore.

Similarly, when I am talking to another friend about God, I'm very fast to tell about the latest thing I've learned, to show off my smarts (although realizing the Holy Spirit is actually the one imparting wisdom takes any pride out of that real quick.) Or, I can chide them on where they need to improve or maybe where someone else is lacking. But it's tough to say "isn't God great? Isn't it amazing what He's done?" Even at church some Sundays, there is a part of me that just wants to skip through the singing and praying and get right to the sermon, when worship is why we are there.

I could say that I'm just built differently, and I acknowledge and respect that God made us all worship differently. I do tend to be more intellectual in my worship and less prone to outbursts or simple appreciation. But we're still commanded to praise God, so I can't use that as an excuse because no matter HOW I worship, I am still commanded to praise.

Plus, I am a person prone to praising other things, just as Lewis illustrates. I can write paragraph upon paragraph about how great a movie is or about a TV show I'm wrapped up in. And yes, my friendships often don't seem complete until I can turn to my friend and say exactly what I appreciate about them.

So why is praise so tough when it comes to God, who should be the most valuable thing in my life? After all, we're commanded to praise Him because His Glory means He is infintely worthy to be praised above anything and He knows we will only find true joy when we praise Him.

And of course, that question leads me back to looking at myself and my sinful nature. It's easier to praise something in front of me that will give me a quick "thank you." Or to praise a movie simply because I've been emotionally manipulated. But looking at the days, weeks, and years of my life and seeing that hand of God means I have to look back and see that the only way I've gotten through has been by His sovereignty. And that takes any pride away from me, which is tough.

So, that's my thought for this Labor Day. Now I happen to be extremely sleepy so I think I'm going to hit the sack.

C-Dubbs

Relaxing so much that it's wearing me out. . .

Well, it's Sunday and the Labor Day weekend still has one more day to go. The week at work ended on a tiring note, but I guess that's what happens when you do so much overtime. Anyway, though, it's been an intensely relaxing weekend that has been sorely needed. Getting ready to have some people over the apartment, but I thought I'd use the time I have to catch up on my blogging with what's been up this weekend.

Friday night after work Erin came over and we had a marathon of Kill Bill Vol. 1 and 2. Watching both those movies together really is quite the experience, as the whole tale takes on an epic nature. Tarantino has put together a real classic here, one of the most immensely entertaining films ever. Uma Thurman, David Carradine, Lucy Liu, Michael Madsen, Darryl Hannah and all the supporting characters put in career-best work here. The action scenes are exhilirating and the story is so wonderful. What struck me this time is how much of a love story it is. It's not revealed until the last act, of course, but this is a movie about heartache and Bill's reaction to it. In fact, the first scene in Volume 1, we are watching the Bride's final moments before going into a coma. What is Bill's line at that point? "This is me at my most masochistic." There's a reason that line is there and I like that Tarantino brings it back at the end to a climax that would be bizarre if we hadn't spent so much time with the characters.

Saturday was busy. Erin and I went to Pontiac for Arts, Beats, and Eats, which was a really great time. I love art festivals and I love just looking at the different works people have worked so hard on. I don't pretend to understand most art, just like I don't pretend to understand most poetry. But that doesn't mean I have to understand it to appreciate it. We didn't stick around for any bands, but the food was good and plentiful. It will be fun to go back next year, I think.

At night I went back to my parents' house and watched The Passion of the Christ. It's easy to distance yourself from this movie a few days after and write it off as just violent and depressing. But the reaction I get when watching it is unlike any other movie. I'm not depressed, I'm not horrified, I'm not sick. Instead, I'm numb and sobered. I don't really think this is the film for people seeking answers about Christ, simply because there is no context for them to put it in. But for those who do know Him, I think this movie is a beautiful meditation on His sacrifice. One thing that kept going through my mind throughout the movie was Mary's words as she's watching the scourging. "When? Where? How? My son will you choose to be delivered of this." What happened to Christ was extreme; mankind at it's darkest hour. Any of us would have given up, would have just let ourselves collapse and die or choose to show off our powers. But Christ fulfilled the Fathrer's work, no matter what it cost. And for us. I'm still speechless for a good half hour after this movie and I think Mel Gibson has crafted a very beautiful, powerful film that is hard to watch but impossible to ignore.

Today was church, nothing much new there. Tomorrow I will be going to the Renaissance Festival. For now, I gotta get going because some people are coming over. Enjoy your Labor Day!

C-Dubbs

Quick update and more From The Shelf. . .

Whew it's been a busy week. Working a lot of overtime so that now that I'm caught up with finances I can finally begin to enjoy some of that money. Went out with some friends for coffee last night. Worked til 8 tonight and then came home and watched "The Best of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog" DVD I had picked up this week. Funny :)

Just need to make it through tomorrow and then a three day weekend starts! Even with the o.t., though, I've been in a much better mood this week than I've been in months at work. I've just felt more energetic and had more stamina than I've had in a very long time. Today was just the first time I had a hint of wearing out, but I still wasn't reaady to throw in the towel. God's been helping me out there.

Big holiday weekend coming up. Saturday Erin and I are going to check out Arts, Beats, and Eats in Pontiac, which I've heard was fun. Sunday is church and then I don't know what's up. Maybe I'll check out a movie. Labor Day Erin and I are going to the Renaissance Festival. Should be fun stuff!

I'm also going to be at my parents' house this weekend, taking care of the dog while they go camping. I don't know if I'm going to bring my laptop, since it's such a busy weekend already and I hate using dial up now that I've tasted cable internet. So I want to get out some more of my reviews of films on my DVD shelf. . .

E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial: This was the first movie I ever saw, in a drive-in at the age of 2. When I saw it again during the rerelease two years back, it was such a joy to realize Spielberg's film hadn't lost any of that magic. It should be a required part of growing up to watch this movie, because it's so magic and heartwarming. I still get choked up at the end, I still laugh at E.T. stumbling around drunk, and I still grin like a 10-year old boy when those bikes fly. A truly joyous film.

School of Rock: The two best comedies out last year were notable simply because they had two decidedly adult comedians in family films. While I prefer "Elf" over this film, I do love "School of Rock" simply because it is one of those films that matches an actor perfectly. Could anyone other than Jack Black have been in this film? He's perfect to watch and looks to be having so much fun. The kids aren't annoying or sugary in this; in fact, they get some of the film's best jokes. And Richard Linklater, who made films like Before Sunrise and Sunset and the superb Waking Life, is able to bring comedy and a love for music together in a film that is enjoyable for kids to watch (why is this film PG-13?) and yet even better for grown-ups.

Ocean's Eleven: Again, this could have been a case of a great director and great actors slumming. Steven Soderbergh was hot off of Traffic, Erin Brokovich, and Out of Sight. And he assembled a cast of some of the biggest actors around to make. . . a heist film remake? The idea was almost as big a gamble as the job the cons are trying to pull off. And yet, the film is a blast to watch each time. George Clooney proves that he's the coolest man in the universe and Brad Pitt continues show great taste in picking roles. I love that the movie plays with the audience; it doesn't tell us how the heist is going to go down and leaves us thinking that plot twists are catching Danny Ocean off guard, when really everything's playing into his hands. I can't wait to see the sequel this Christmas.

There's Something About Mary: While the Farrelly Brothers have turned out some comedy classics (Dumb and Dumber is Gone With the Wind of guy movies and Kingpin was very underrated), they never quite returned to their no-holds barred humor after the success of this movie. But this is them at the top of their game. Cameron Diaz is radiant in it, Ben Stiller is always best playing normal guy roles, and Matt Dillon is having fun as a sleazeball. But this is the Farrelly's movie. Watching the infamous "zipper scene" again a few months ago, I'm constantly amazed at their comic timing with the jokes in this. And while it opened the gate for more offensive comedy to walk through (does anyone think of hair gel the same way?), it has a sweetness and sincerity to the love story that makes everything. . . well, that much more funny.

Bruce Almighty: I was going to pass this movie, because I was convinced that no movie starring Jim Carrey playing God could have anything redeeming in it. Then, I heard positive reviews from Christians, so I decided to check it out. While NOT a theologically correct film, I was pleasantly surprised that it was not offensive when dealing with God, but in fact pretty respectful. True, the New Agey-we all just gotta love each other theme was a bit sappy, but the movie thankfully found it's humor in other places. It's funny in places, touching in others and a genuinely sweet, fun movie. Not Carrey's best work (again, Dumb and Dumber), but it's certainly not The Majestic.

Comedian: I have always been fascinated by stand up comedy. The idea of being able to stand up and tell jokes for a living has always struck me as the best job in the world. I've often harbored (and still do have) dreams of being the guy behind the mic. But if this film is any indication, I'd have less stress as a fireman. This documentary follows Jerry Seinfeld as he deals with life after his sitcom, deciding to start his routine from scratch and play at small clubs. It shows him agonizing over flubbed lines and working just to have five minutes of material. It shows that the true joy in the job is standing behind that microphone and making people laugh. A very enlightening documentary.

Remember the Titans: My favorite sports movie of all time and one of the best male tearjerkers around. I love sports movies because they can tackle bigger subjects and this film handles race relations very well. Denzel Washington is great in this and the cast is good at what they do. But the story and heart behind it is what moves it. There's pure joy in the scenes of victory and can there be a dry eye around during that hospital visit?

Signs: M. Night Shyamalan's best film and his scariest. Seeing this in a packed theatre with the sound cranked up was an intense experience. Not seeing, but hearing the aliens is nerve-wracking, which is why the suspense is loosened a bit when we finally get our close up. Mel Gibson is good as the priest struggling with this faith (guess he got it back in time for his next directing gig). The twist at the end is a bit forced, but I liked the overall theme of faith and how Shyamalan mixed in humor and depth with the thrills. The anti-Independence Day proves you don't need to blow up New York to make a good alien invasion flick.

Goodfellas: Not just the best mob movie ever, this film may be one of the best films of the past 25 years. Scorsese is at the top of his game here, with a film that seems to roar across the screen with relentless energy. Of course the acting by Ray Liotta, Robert Deniro, Joe Pesci, and Paul Sorvino is superb. The music accompanying the scenes is the best-fitting soundtrack I've ever heard. Yes, the language and violence are explicit and shocking, but that's the point as this movie strips away the allure of the mob by showing us the ugly consequences it entails.

Frailty: Bill Paxton's directorial debut was one whacked-out movie. You know you've succeeded at making a horror film when you get raves from Sam Raimi and Stephen King. Paxton stars as a blue collar man convinced that God has chosen him as his avenging angel and he takes his kids along on his mission. Paxton had the good sense to steer clear of graphic violence and instead focus on atmosphere and mood in this film. It's scary and tense as heck and builds up to one of the bravest, craziest endings I've ever seen. If you like scary movies, you should have seen this one already.

C-Dubbs