It Takes a Village. . .

So tonight I went with my parents to go see The Village. I'm sure that what I am about to say will be ridiculed and argued over by many film goers, as I'm sure to be in the minority of this film. But here it goes. . .

I thoroughly enjoyed The Village. In fact, the more I think back on it, the more I enjoyed it and love thinking back on What It Is All About.

To start this, though,I should probably warn you about two things. First, I am what internet movie geeks refer to as an "M. Night Shyamalan apologist." I've loved every one of his thrillers since The Sixth Sense. Granted, they are not all perfect and neither is this one. But I'll give you the run down so you know where I stand.

The Sixth Sense: Probably the best supernatural drama ever. Like most of his films, it's unfair just to label it a thriller. There are tense, suspenseful moments, yes. But it's a dramatic, emotional film about communication. Haley Joel Osment and Bruce Willis are superb and Shyamalan proved he had a mastery of writing and tone. And the twist at the end is rivaled only by Fight Club as the best twist I've ever seen.

Unbreakable: This is a film that many people loathe, and i can't understand why. I love the story telling here, about what would happen if a real man found out he was superhuman. I love that the story is told as a quest for meaning and purpose in the world and not as a special effects extravaganza. This is probably my favorite role of Bruce Willis' career and Samuel L. Jackson is great as Elijah, aka "Mr. Glass." I thought the twist at the end was unecessary, but still didn't ruin the film for me.

Signs: Probably still my favorite Shyamalan film. Scary, funny and touching in all the right moments. The scenes in the cellar and outside the pantry are as tense as films get nowadays. Nothing beats seeing this film in a theatre with a great sound system. Mel Gibson played totally against type as a quiet, mourning preacher and Joaquin Phoenix played Merrel with good humor and heart. The twist at the end still was a tad ham-handed, but I liked the message of the movie and it's still one of my favorite thrillers.

People probably will not like The Village. It moves slow, the dialouge is a bit stilted, and the twists at the end will probably enrage some. The second thing I need to warn is that I have to discuss spoilers and important plot points to make my case for liking this film. So, I'm going to do a quick rundown for those of you who would like to go into the film virginal.

The Village is a nice, tense little thriller about a small village in the woods and the creatures who they have struck a pact with. There are some great tender human moments in it and some very suspenseful ones. The acting is great, particularly Joaquin Phoenix and newcomer Bryce Dallas Howard. The twist at the end clears up many of the problems with the movies and causes you to think.

See why that sounds dull? I must discuss the spoilers. So if you don't want to know what happens, quit reading. . . . NOW!!!!

Okay, still there? Good.

This is a movie that resonated with me on two levels. The first is the obvious parallel to living in a post-9/11 culture of fear. Those We Do Not Speak of are the things invented like Freddy and Jason and Michael Meyers, to make sure we stay in line, don't ask questions, and do as the leaders say. They could also be consistent with the Weapons of Mass Destruction that populate our culture today. We need fear and we need bogeymen because we have to keep people in line. So, while Those We Do Not Speak of were revealed do be nothing more than a farce to keep the kids in line and in the village (a twist I actually saw coming), the reason for it really resonates. Don't ask questions. Don't go in the woods. Don't disrupt the life that they live in the Village.

Second, though, this movie really resonated with me having grown up in a fundamentalist church for the first few years of my life. My parents were never ultra-strict, but I've often been around those who are. And while I talk a lot about how sick I am of the world, I don't wish to cut myself off or avoid the world. . . Jesus didn't do that and we're called to be "in the world but not of the world."

But we all know that there are those Christians and those Fanatics who wish to isolate themselves and break off from the world. For some, it simply means avoiding popular culture. For others, it means trying to turn back the clock and live a life that we see as more innocent. Imagine if someone could take that to the extreme. Imagine if they totally isolated themselves from all the things they perceived as corrupt. . . money, violence, the media, even knowledge of war and technology. Imagine if they decided to isolate themselves from the world and live in a quiet, Walden-esque society. And do keep people from ever finding out or venturing into the corrupt Real World, they had to invent a fable to keep them afraid. That's what this film is about.

And what happens when we try to avoid that pain? We lose progress. We lose hope. We become aloof and cynical. Our kids learn to avoid risks. And we end up bringing back the hurt and pain we tried so hard to avoid. Evil doesn't exist in our culture. It exists in US. This film, especially in Adrien Brody's character, showed that we still can be corrupt and evil. And we've been given the time and opportunities to help us in our distress. And what if we avoid that? Are we allowing to sacrifice our children so we can keep our perception of happiness and avoidence??

My parents were biased on it. They thought it was weird. And it is. The twist is meant to be hard to believe. The audience I saw it with was laughing at the end. Like I said, this film is going to divide people. There are some things you can't deny, though. The cinematography is beautiful; this is probably Shyamalan's best-looking film yet. The actors, the young ones in particular, are great. Joaquin Phoenix does great, subtle work with a smaller role. . . I could compare his work to that of Bruce Willis in the other Shyamalan films. Adrien Brody's character is pitch-perfect, especially in scenes that are extremely pivotal. And Bryce Dallas Howard is a real find. She's riveting in this and I think is on to much bigger things.

That said, this is probably my least favorite Shyamalan film, although that's like saying Season One is my least favorite season of the Simpsons. All are probably better than most of what's out there. It's just that this film had some flaws. The dialouge is pretty stilted. . . although the twist pretty much explains that (they had to learn to talk like that, but it's hard.) I thought the first twist of the monsters being a farce was a bit predictable and when he tried to push our buttons and make us think monsters were really out there, it became a bit absurd. . . although the final twist did floor me and catch me totally offguard.

Some people may love this movie, and I think the key to it is to go in expecting a drama, not a thriller. Other may hate it. That's okay. This movie's going to divide people. But I'm not really ashamed to say I thought it was another good story by one of our great storytellers of the modern age.

In other news, today was a pretty boring day. Only thing of note was that I took a long walk and went to Barnes and Noble and picked up $30 worth of books with some birthday money. I got The Weight of Glory, by CS Lewis; The Best American Short Story Writing 2003; and Strunk and White's Elements of Style, to help me as I get back started writing.

I have more I want to say, but I'll save it till tomorrow. . .

C-Dubbs

Denzel went to the Gulf War and all he got was this lousy syndrome. . .

Went and saw The Manchurian Candidate tonight. I should probably preface this review by coming clean with the fact that I've never seen the original Frank Sinatra film from the 1960s, so everything was pretty new to me. But I went in knowing it had something to do with politics and brainwashing, and that it starred some incredible actors and had a director known for his superb suspense work.

I'll say that the less you know about this film in advance, the better. The plot is convoluted and tricky, and the script throws in twists both subtle and in your face. I liked how the film wasn't just a thriller, but a truly dark satire that actually seems pretty plausible in this age of genetic engineering and corporate greed. The suspense is tight and the ending's twists come fast and hard. Just when you think you know where the film is heading, it takes a sharp left turn that we didn't see coming. That's thanks to Jonathan Demme, who uses the same deft hand he had at directing probably the all-time best suspense film, The Silence of the Lambs. This film is more of an enjoyable popcorn flick and not quite as intelligent or emotional as that film, but it's just as technically sufficient all the same.

The cast is really the reason to watch this movie. Denzel Washington, of course, could make a movie about churning butter and he'd make it riveting. Meryl Streep is probably the most talented actress of the past 100 years and makes her character loathable and creepy. In one scene she actually made me squirm in revulsion. Liev Shrieber has always been an actor I've found who's great at playing guys who appear very bland yet have a real dark side to them. He was pretty good in Scream 2 (the best of that series) and even though I groaned when I heard he was playing John Clark in The Sum of All Fears, he pulled that role off neatly as well. This is a good role for him.

To say anymore would give away a good, fun, twisty popcorn movie. Is it a great film? Not by any means. But it's a good, tight thriller. Sometimes Demme's tricks go overboard and can be distracting (the sound of the film is one of those things) and the script gets a bit confusing near the end. But it's a fun movie.

However, even better than that is the preview for the new film from Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the creators of South Park. The movie is called Team America: World Police. It's an action satire about the war on terror. Done with marionettes. Ahem. You heard that right. Check out the trailer on Apple's site. These guys are brilliant satirists and this is such a bizarre idea that it has shot right up to the top of my "must see" list. . .

Okay, and now for my gripe of the evening. I went to the Star Gratiot tonight because I had a gift certificate I had gotten for my birthday. I have no clue why the theatre did not staff properly for a summer Friday night. Seriously, I waited in line ten minutes just to get tickets and then another ten while the teenager behind the counter miscounted change, fumbled through orders and basically bumbled his way through his job. I've worked the concession counter before, so don't say I don't understand his job: It's not that hard!! Ugh.

To make matters worse, some lady brought her nine month old baby into the movie tonight. The baby started crying through the beginning of the movie and so I just shot her a look and she got mad at ME!! There needs to be a rule about bringing babies into movies. Really, if you can't afford a babysitter, please don't go to the movies. It's annoying and distracting. And if you DO bring your baby to the movie, we reserve the right to through popcorn at you and ridicule you afterward. Just kidding. Kind of.

And please, please, please, please if there are any theatre owners reading this: STOP THE COMMERICALS BEFORE THE MOVIES!!!!! I concede that I love previews. But I go to the movies so I don't have to be plagued by commercials on tv. Let's just stop this now! I swear there were 20 minutes of commercials tonight.

Sigh. Another of life's simple pleasures going down the tubes.

Well, as you can tell I have a chip on my shoulder tonight and I think it's because I'm over-tired. So I'm going to hit the sack.

C-Dubbs

Thursday Night Nuggets. . .
 
Took me about twenty minutes for my computer to cooperate and allow me to get on this site tonight :( Ugh, I hate computers. Plus, I've had a splitting headache since getting off of work, and so it's going to be a short, pretty shallow entry tonight.
 
Work was decent today. Nothing good, nothing bad. I'm getting much more peaceful about my work days, though. I'm accepting it as my job for me to do, depending on God to give me patience, and realizing that when it's over, I go home and get on with my life. Although it's been a tough few weeks, it's been nothing too horrible. . .
 
I got rejected from giving blood at church today :( It was my fault, really. I realized as I was filling out the forms that I seemed to recall my doctor saying that when I was in the hospital a few years ago, I tested positive for Hepatitis C. Nothing to worry about, because they didn't do any further followups and said it wouldn't be the kind to affect me negatively. But you're not supposed to give blood if you've ever tested positive for Hepatitis. :( So, I got to wear a little red cross "I tried" sticker. You feel like a dolt wearing that. It's like the Special Olympics ribbon for charity. . .
 
The nurse at the blood drive, however, told me that only 5% of people even try to donate blood. I found that shocking! I'm not a big fan of needles, but I have no problem offering my blood or donating it. It makes me mad when someone refuses to give blood because "I don't like needles" or "It'll hurt" or "I'm too busy." Grow up. Close your eyes and don't look at the needle. The pain is no worse than when they take your blood at the doctor's. And if you can't schedule a half hour into your schedule to do something that could save a life, then I'm afraid your priorities are screwed up. I know it's getting on a bit of a high horse, but Proverbs says that if we have the opportunity to do good for someone, we should do it. I think witholding good from others for such selfish reasons is a sin of omission. . . .
 
Finally got around to watching Cold Mountain tonight, so Erin will be pleased when she returns from her weekend helping out with the Make-A-Wish Foundation. She loaned it to me over a month ago and kept telling me to watch it, so tonight I finally did. I was avoiding it because i was afraid it was going to be one of those boring, sappy love stories. But it was actually a very nice epic Civil War drama. Technically, it was probably the best made film of last year that didn't have the words "Return of the King" in the title. Anthony Minghella, whose films like The Talented Mister Ripley, I usually despise, has crafted a beautiful looking film here. I know it was filmed in Europe, but it recreates Civil War era America in such beautiful detail. The snows and forests are peaceful and the battle scenes are dark and scary. The actors are great in this role. Jude Law and Nicole Kidman are, of course, always perfect. But Renee Zelwegger really surprised me. She really deserved that Oscar for her work as Ruby. She used to be one of those actresses I could't care less about. But with her work in this and her role in Chicago, she's one of the actresses continually piquing my interest.
 
So, I enjoyed the film. I can't say I loved it. The love story that supposedly frames the film just didn't connect with me. . . I couldn't tell why Law and Kidman's characters felt so strongly for each other when they had only met a few times. And I thought the ending was predictable and rather unecessary. There were plenty of powerful little scenes, such as Natalie Portman's character, Ruby's reconcilliation with her father, and Phillip Seymour Hoffman's "priest" that were well done. But the parts were better than the whole. Good, very well made film. Just not a great one, that's all. . .
 
It's funny that for unbiased political reporting, I'm actually turning to Comedy Central. "The Daily Show" has been probably the best showcaser of politics. The shows writers are equal opportunity offenders, pointing out the absurdity in our world and country. Tonight's report on John kerry was funny but so true. He's the Democratic candidate not because anyone has any great support for him or wants to see him be the next president. He's just the least offensive alternative they could come up with for George W. Bush. Ugh. I'm not too happy with the prospects come November. I'll probably vote Bush, simply because morally we see eye to eye. But why can't we get Colin Powell up there? I think he'd win in a landslide. I'd vote for him. . .
 
So, if I can make it until 4:00 tomorrow, the weekend will be upon me. I'm actually looking forward to it, because I think I can actually have some fun without spending a dime. Tomorrow night after work I plan on hitting the gym, getting some dinner and then going to the Star Theatre with some gift certificates I got to go see The Manchurian Candidate. I've been intrigued about this movie for awhile, because you just can't beat the credentials behind it. Denzel Washington is probably right behind Tom Hanks as one of the most reliable actors we have and Meryl Streep's name is pretty much synonymous with quality. And Jonathan Demme is getting back behind the camera for a thriller. His last true suspense thriller was the great Silence of the Lambs, so I hope this is just as great. Should be good, especially since I hear that the remake is substituting Cold War paranoia for our fear of terrorism. Should be interesting. If anything, I think it's a guarantee that we'll see some great actors at work.
 
Saturday I plan on sleeping in, hitting the gym, and lounging around for most the day. Our pastor's dad passed away earlier this week, so I may go to the funeral, although I don't know the pastor very well and I didn't know his father. Saturday night my parents are taking me out for my birthday. We're going to Don Pablos, which is one of my favorite restaurants, and then going to see The Village, which is another film I'm really looking forward to. M. Night Shaymalan (sp?) has made movies that are unqualified classics in my book. The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, and Signs are all probably in the top 20 movies of mine, so I'm really looking forward to this. The reviews have been pretty divided, but that's to be expected. He's one of our most divisive filmmakers. With many of his movies you either love them or hate them, and I've happened to love them all. Maybe tomorrow I'll write my thoughts on each of those first three.
 
Well, I'm very tired, this headache hasn't let up, and I think it's time to get to bed. I'll write later.
 
C-Dubbs

You know our culture is screwed when I envy the Amish. . .
 
On New Years' Eve last year, I prayed that God would, in 2004, help me to break my attachments to this world and desire only the things of His Kingdom. While that work is by no means done, I have begun (as this blog often shows) to despise the things of our culture and our world. And tonight on TV I found myself being thoroughly revolted by our culture.
 
The new "reality" show on UPN tonight was "Amish In The City." If you haven't heard of it, here's a quick synopsis of the plot. Young Amish people, when they are in their 20s, take time to leave the Amish lifestyle and venture out into the city to see if they want to continue to commit to living the Amish life. The twist on this show is that these six or so Amish people are living with a group of probably the saddest, most pathetic party animals on the planet.
 
Here's my confession: I found the show utterly engrossing. The obvious culture clash was not really played at the Amish folks' expense and they really do come across as likable human beings. There was even a touch of emotion in there, such as when one of the girls burst into tears after seeing the ocean for the first time or when they explained that they had never seen art before because there's no room for artistic expression in the Amish community. It was really pretty interesting to watch.
 
But I think the joke was on the wrong people. The more I watched the show, the more I realized it wasn't the Amish folk who were deluded and to be pitied. If anything, I think those who live the Amish lifestyle should be commended. You can see a love for life and people in them and, unlike the majority of us, these people live lives dedicated to hard work and diligence. I'm sorry, but setting the budget for an accounting firm or laying out ad spreads for a magazine just isn't the same type of hard labor as raising a barn or working with your hands.
 
But as I watched these Amish folk, I noticed something else. They were baffled by how cynical and moody everyone was. They were shocked and frightened by conflict. And they were genuinely joyful. They loved the simple things in life, like learning to swim or going to a grocery store filled with hundreds of kinds of fruit they had never seen before.
 
When you look at the "normal" contestants, you just cringe and want to weep for our culture. You have the black girl who wants to "be cool with everyone" but is really itching for conflict because she promises "there will be drama." You have the blond bar chick looking forward to "partying and hooking up." The gay guy who throws a hissy fit when his advances aren't returned and who says the thing that bothers him more than anything is when people don't let other people do their own thing. . .but he's the first to mock the Amish lifestyle. And, of course, the weird Vegan girl who calls eggs "chicken abortions" and thinks cows came from alien DNA.
 
Now, I know that these people are your standard reality show contestants and were picked because they are probably the people who make for entertaining TV and shouldn't be confused with people who have real emotions, problems, and...well, souls. But it does paint an eye for what our culture says matters, doesn't it? We look for drama because we want to be proven right in a conflict. We want people to accept our beliefs so we don't feel guilty, although we still think they should conform to uor lifestyles. Life's main goal is to make enough money to buy flashy clothes, nice cars, get drunk, get laid, and basically have fun. And we're not supposed to eat meat because although we can condone a woman's right to murder her unborn baby we shouldn't dare fry a baby chicken on a griddle.
 
I think that the reason that these Amish kids seem so centered and together is because they haven't had to deal with our schizophrenic culture. A culture that has developed in this postmodern age where there's no such thing as absolute Truth. Make up your own rules; live for yourself. Ugh, what a lie. We're told that's what brings true peace and happiness. . . and yet our culture is full of depressed, cynical, angry, bitter, deluded, empty people.
 
Whereas, the Amish kids take joy in the small things. One is excited to go to the beach because she "feels it will bringer closer to God." Another, after nearly drowning, realizes the precious nature of life and you see him reading his Bible so he "doesn't get sucked under with the rest of the world." I'm not meaning to imply that these guys are all Christians, but you can see how that commitment to not conform to the world really brings more joy to their lives.
 
I hate living in a postmodern society, where we've thrown out a Creator of all, therefore we've thrown out the standard for living. We're afraid to call sin by what it is, because we're afraid of offending others or making them feel like they are sinners. But they ARE sinners. We are all sinners. . . we shouldn't be afraid to call the kettle black as long as the pot knows its true color as well.
 
Sometimes I fantasize about getting away. Becoming a missionary or some peace corps worker just to escape from American culture. Live a simple, bare bones lifestyle with no attachment to mass media, fashion, technology, or even entertainment. To have my life be lived among others in service to God and spending the days learning more about him. I know my motive would be selfish, which is why I'm not abandoning Verizon.  But sometimes I wish it would just end. That the skies would part and God would take me home, away from such a cynical, sad world. But more that that right now, I wish others would just see The Truth. Find their healing in Christ, even if though it means admitting their own failures.
 
Right now, though, I'm stuck here, smack dab in the middle of the culture. And sometimes it gets pretty darn attractive. I think sometimes I feel like those who started following Christ only to be told by him what a tough road it was going to be and that they weren't following an earthly king who was going to lead a rebellion. Most of those folks left, but 12 guys remained. And Peter's words of why he remain still bring a tear to my eye each time I read the passage:
 
Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. (John 6:68, NKJV).
 
I want that to be my prayer each day. When this world begins to push in and pressure and I feel the cyniscism and despair closing in, I need to run to Christ and His promises, because where else would I go? The words of true life--both in Heaven and on Earth--are found only in His promises. Ever since this thought has passed through my mind, I 've thought of Chris Rice's song "Naive." I want to post the lyrics here.
 
Naive by Chris Rice
 
How long until You defend Your name and set the record right?
How far will you allow the human race to run and hide? 
And how much can You tolerate our weaknesses
Before You step into our sky blue and say "that's quite enough"

Am I naive to want a remedy for every bitter heart?
Can I believe You hold an exclamation point for every question mark? 
And can I leave the timing of this universe to bigger hands?
And may I be so bold to ask You to please hurry?

I hear that a God who's good would never let the evil run so long
But I say it's because You're good You're giving us more time
'Cause I believe that You love to show us mercy
But when will You step into our sky blue and say "that's quite enough, and your time is up" 

repeat chorus

C-Dubbs

One More Post from the Birthday Boy. . .
 
So, my birthday will officially be over in about a half hour. I think I'm definitely getting older, because I really don't care. It's really just another day, isn't it? I don't feel any older. There wasn't some cosmic shift of the molecular structure of my body that caused me to suddenly become a more mature, responsible adult. And yet, there is a significance in the change of the years, isn't there?
 
25 has always been one of those milestones that I've thought about in my life. 25 has always been viewed as that last border between youth and adulthood for me. See, the early 20s were always looked at, in my mind, as the "Friends" years of my life. It's time to be a single who's learning about the arts, learning about himself, and hitting the dating scene (okay, maybe wishing to hit the dating scene more often). But once you turn 25, it's always been viewed as, in my mind, the start of the rest of your life. I've always felt that those years are when you start settling down, building a family, planning for the rest of your life.
 
Some people get depressed when they hit this age. And I guess I could see that happen in the next few days. After all, I enjoyed the years of college and young adulthood. Learning about film, hanging out until all hours of the night, learning more about culture and the different people in the world. My single years have been--and still are--a blessing, because God has really grabbed my attention and used these years to bring me closer to Him. So, I do look back and know that my years of youth are drawing to a close in the next few years. And yeah, it's sad. But I'm also developing a "been there, done that" feeling to all that. I'm sick of sitting around complaining about our world or just being goofy. I look forward to the experiences that will make up the rest of my life.
 
In the coming years, hopefully, I will get married. And I look forward to marriage. Having someone by your side every day, through the good times and bad, knowing that they are someone who--no matter what changes in life occur--are wanting to stand by your side. I look forward to my wedding and the years after it, before children, when my wife and I can experience life together and have a joy in being with each other.
 
I look forward to having kids. Although I'm quick to grumble about children, I actually can't wait to be a father. I can't imagine anything more challenging, joyful, or rewarding that bringing up a child and watching them grow into the person God wants them to be. I look forward to ball games, dance recitals, Halloweens and Christmases with my children. I can't wait until they're old enough to tuck into bed and read to them. I even can't wait for the teenage years of my children, when I watch them grow closer to adulthood and see the person God is calling them to be.
 
I look forward to the opportunities for ministry as I grow older. As I become more mature in my faith, I look forward for chances to pass that along to the next generation, to be involved with the leadership of the church. Will God call me to get involved supporting missions? Working with the teenagers? Teaching a Sunday School class? Becoming an elder? It's an adventure whose conclusion I can't wait to see.
 
And work. What will be the career choices God will have me make with the rest of my life? Will He use my writing? My love of film? Will I grow more into customer service management roles? Where will He take me with my Master's Degree? Will I go into marketing? Go back to journalism? Could God call me to the mission field?
 
And retirement. After years of labor that started 10 years ago when I was 15, a chance to sit back and enjoy some rest. But not stop working. When I retire, I want to be the retiree who is always extremely involved with the lives of his grandkids and involved in the church. No going to Florida to live and complain about the weather. I want to die knowing that i lived a full life for God.
 
And death. Inevitably that always comes into our dealings with the future. It's funny; the older I get (and I concede that 25 is NOT old), the less I fear death and the more I actually look forward to my exit from this world. Losing the frustrations and futilities and pains that plague us hear and entering into the arms of God. I can't wait for Heaven. I long for Heaven. Some days I just look at the sky and ask "how long"? To know that all our days and years here are only the first sentence of eternity is too amazing for words.
 
And yet, as I look forward to these coming years, I realize that the first verse I read in Proverbs today was "Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth." (Proverbs 27:1). My days are governed by the sovereign will of God. It could be his desire for me to live to 125, 75, 50, or even to die in my sleep. I don't know what He's planned. But He's good. And whatever He wills, I pray that I am willing to accept His will over my desires.
 
C-Dubbs

24 Down, about 51 (hopefully more) to go. . .
 
One their online journal, one of my friends was pondering whether or not someone could be content with the fact that they would never lead an interesting life. I think our first response would be that most people might want to consider that question because the vast majority don't live lives that others would find interesting (and yet we still write about them daily on our blogs and others still read about them, don't they?).
 
I was thinking about this today because it's my 25th Birthday. If you go by averages, one-third of my life has passed by. Barring any kind of sickness, getting hit by a train, shot by some thugs over my shoes (Sketchers are big on the street, I hear), or Rapture, I figure I probably have about 50 more years on this planet. And as I look back and consider the first 25 years of my life--what some people say are the best years we have, although I doubt that--I would have to concede that one the surface I don't lead a pretty interesting life.
 
I'm 25 and have a bachelor's degree in a career that I failed to pursue. I answer phones for 40 hours a week helping customers deal with their own stupidit. . . uh, issues. During my spare time I either sleep too much, eat too much, excersize too little, talk too much, or sit in a darkened room watching images projected on a white screen. The most earth-shattering moments in my life (from another persons' perspective) are moments where I either collapsed on a floor of a movie theatre or. . . well, there's not much more that people would probably find interesting. No one's ever going to write a book or a movie about me. I won't have any actors clamoring to take on my role onscreen (although if things change and I end up rescuing babies from burning orphanages, I want Owen Wilson to star in the film.) In short, my own life hasn't been too exciting. In fact, I sometimes get bored with myself :)
 
But I think that shows our error in thinking what really constitutes what's important in this world. True, I'd love to have my names on the credits of a well-written film. I'd love to be interviewed by magazines. I'd love, if I were in better shape, to climb Mt. Everest; if I were smarter, to cure cancer; or if I were funnier, be a side-splitting stand-up comic. Alas, right now that's not the life that God has given me. But does living those lives really mean that someone's existence was more interesting, had more impact, or was more worthwile than the days I toil in Warren? I think the Bible shows that living for those things, that recognition, that sense of thrill, is actually a result of our sin. In Epheshians, Paul writes that because of our ignorance and the blindness of our hearts, humans have given themselves over to pursuing sensual pleasures.
 
Were truer words for our culture ever written? I was watching the Simpsons' DVD and Matt Groening described Homer Simpson as a person who "lives solely for the gratification of his impulses." But doesn't that describe our whole world? We live so that we can feel happy and great. We live so that we can have the pride of being recognized, the recognition of being selfless (there's an oxymoron), and the thrill of "living on the edge." None of these things are wrong, of course, in and of themselves. But when we start to look at those things as what makes up a worthwhile, interesting life, I think we're sadly misled. As Christians, we should look at these things and see what Solomon wrote about in Ecclesiastes, about all these things being vanity and chasing after the wind.
 
What does make up an interesting life? What makes up a life that matters? I think that we only have to look back at Ephesians to see that. The first chapter of that book goes into great detail in how God's plan throughout time--even before time began as a matter of fact--was to be glorified through the church. The Son came to die for the church so that those who God had chosen would glorify Him. I love the way that The Message (sorry, Tim) puts one of these verses: "Therefore, the church is not peripheral to the world, the world is peripheral to the Church."
 
My pastor talked about this one Sunday. History was written to carve a path for the spreading of the Gospel. The church is the agent in spreading the gospel. So, universally, what people are leading the lives of most significance? Those who have the privilege of knowing God and are invited to work with Him. Movie stars, heroes, and atheletes are the people our thoughts are all too often focused on. And yet, they will die, be forgotten, and eventually leave a legacy that might be good for a trivia question. The church is doing work of eternal significance. I'm speechless at the fact that God not only saved me, but put me in a place where I can do the work He has planned for me. Talk about feeling significant. Talk about doing work that matters. Talk about a life that is interesting.
 
Life is wasted when all we think about is cramming it full of every achievement, experience, and possession we've ever wanted. I sympathize with those who have a goal to see the world before they die or help those in need; those goals are ones I share and I'd have to admit I would like to accomplish those things. But they are not life. They are things that we do to waste time when the most important work, glorifying God and making His glory known, are too often neglected. Whether I get out of Verizon ever and be a writer, whether I get married or live single all of my days, whether or not I have enough money to travel the World or I never get out of Michigan, those things don't ultimately matter. What matters--what gives life the only meaning it could ever have--is the desire to glorify God, to spend every minute I can in worship and meditation on his glory and riches. CS Lewis wrote this quote about the glory of Christ that I read today and I think it's fitting. It's a prayer I want to live my life by, to be reminded to take my mind off the things and distractions of this world and focus solely on Christ, the expression of God:
 
We must think of the Son always, so to speak, streaming from the Father, like light from a lamp, or heat from a fire, or thoughts from a mind. He is the self-expression of the Father---what the Father has to say. And there never was a time when He wasn't saying it.
 
C-Dubbs

Last day as a 24-year old. . .
 
It's funny how addicting I find writing in this blog. I actually have nothing of any type of substance to write about tonight and yet I feel like I'm doing myself a disservice if I don't at least type in the  mundane details of my day. Maybe it's just the writer in me crying out for any opportunity to put words into print. Maybe I'm just prideful and want people to know about every single second of my day. :) Whatever it is, here's the lowdown.
 
Work was fine. Back on my 7:30-4 shift. Not a bad shift, although I miss leaving at 3:30. That half hour DOES make quite a difference. But still, four o' clock is not too shabby. I miss rush hour on the way home and still walk in the door with enough time to take a nap or watch "The Simpsons."
 
Tonight was just a pretty standard night. Went to the gym and had a good workout. Did my laundry. Finished up the rest of the pizza from last night. And I watched a few episodes of The Simpsons Season 4 DVD that I got last night. Watched "Kamp Krusty," "A Streetcar named Marge," and "Homer The Heretic."
 
I think a lot of people don't understand what's so great about this DVD release. Yes, the first 3 seasons were a cool way to see the series evolve, and I am a fan of the commentary tracks where the writers spill a lot of the secrets for the origins of the jokes. But every Simpsons fan knows thaat there was a certain point where the show just "clicked" and went from being just a clever animated spoof on sitcoms to being probaby--and I say this without hyperbole-- the best satire of American Culture since Mark Twain. Seriously, the only TV comedy that even gets close to the level of genius that The Simpsons has is probably Seinfeld, and that had a rather disastrous final season.
 
But of all those seasons, season four just seems to be the one with the most memorable episodes. This is like a yankee's fan being able to go back to visit the Babe Ruth, Joe Dimaggio, Mickey Mantle era. In just the first three episodes I watched tonight, each of those is a certifiable classic. "Kamp Krusty" is just a great parody of "lord of the flies." "Streetcar" is smart and witty and has some of the best musical numbers. "Heretic" is one of my personal favorite episodes as Homer starts his own "faith" after a wonderful Sunday off church. It has probably my one of my top ten Homer quotes when Homer sees Apu's shrine to the elephant god Ganeesha. "Hey Ganeesha, want a peanut?" Followed by Apu's hilarious retort "Please do not offer my god a peanut."
 
So that was that. I spent a lot of the day debating whether I wanted to call in sick tomorrow from work because it's my birthday. Part of me (a rather big part) groans at the idea of having to work on my birthday. But I'm a grown up. I have to take on the responsibilities dealt to me, even if I don't like it. So, I'm going into work. Maybe the customers will just telepathically know that it's my birthday and be nice to me. Nah.
 
Tomorrow night will be a low-key birthday night for me. Just going out for coffee with some friends, probably to Mount Clemens. Nothing huge; last night was my big night and my parents will take me out this weekend. But I figured that getting coffee with close friends is my favorite thing to do, so tha'ts how I want to spend my birthday. :)
 
Okay, I'm very very tired. I'll write tomorrow.
 
C-Dubbs

Is it possible to have a pizza hangover??
 
I'm very sleepy, but determined to write about my night in here before I go to bed and have to face the reality of another week starting promptly at 6:30 tomorrow morning. Plus, we just came back from a feast of deep-dish Chicago style pizza at Pizza Papalis and--I know, this is gross--I'm trying to wait for it to work it's way through my digestive system :)
 
So, my friends took me out for my birthday tonight and I had an awesome time in Greektown with them all. What was great was that it wasn't just Brandon or Erin. It was some good friends from my Sunday School class--Diana, Gretchen, Melissa, Charles, and Becky--my sister and her boyfriend who I don't get to hang out with near enough and some new friends I'm having an awesome time getting to know--Hannah, Scott, and Christina. Having everyone there was great and a ton of fun. There were a few who couldn't make it, but that's fine. I know where you live :) But to you guys who were there who I know read this blog, thank you very much. It was the best time I've had going out for my birthday in years!!
 
Aaron Lawless used to call his friends "fellow soujourners." I always laughed and thought the phrase was a bit over the top. But I've come to find that it's true. Life is a long, tough journey. If all I had to get through was my job and my bills and some toys, I wouldn't be able to do it. It's the people God blesses us with along the way that truly make life not only bearable, but worth living. So thanks :)
 
So, the week restarts tomorrow. I'm going to attack it with a smile and the willingness to give 100% at work and remember that the job I spend 40 hours a week at allows me to spend the rest of the week with other things. If I didn't have the schedule at work I have now, I wouldn't be able to hang out with my friends as much, invest as much time in church, or even just have that time to relax. I'm lucky that right now I don't have a job that I have to "take home with me." I walk out the door at four o' clock and I'm free to do whatever. And that's a nice feeling :)
 
Speaking of the week ahead, it's going to be fun. Tomorrow night I'm going to my parents' for dinner, hopefully will hit the gym (it's very necessary after the pizza), then I'm going to go home and tear into the "Simpsons Fourth Season" DVD that Brandon got me for my birthday. Tuesday night's my birthday and I think Brandon and I and hopefully Erin are going to all hang out. Wednesday night is up in the air. Thursday night I have to give blood. Friday night will probably be a movie night or more Simpsons.
 
Saturday I have a tough decision to make. I won three free passes to see Lewis Black at Meadowbrook. I think the man's hilarious; I've loved his "Back in Black" on The Daily Show for years. So I'm looking forward to that. But Erin's out of town and Brandon's gotta work. So I have to find one or two people to go with me. If not, I'm going to go out with my parents for my birthday. If we don't go Saturday, we're going to go Sunday.
 
I've started reading the 9/11 comission's report. Very eye opening stuff and extremely engrossing for a government document. It's really quite fascinating and tragic, the things we missed. In other culture news, I've been listening to Switchfoot's "The Beautiful Letdown" quite a bit recently and really like it.
 
Okay, now I'm conceding defeat because my eyes won't stay open. I'll talk to you all later!
 
C-Dubbs
 
 

"Bourne" Again
 
So, yesterday I had the pleasure of seeing both The Bourne Identity for my first time and then going to see The Bourne Supremacy afterward. Here are my thoughts. . .
 
I had never put off seeing The Bourne Identity. It was always one of those movies that I genuinely wanted to see, but had never gotten around to. So when I saw it on sale at Suncoast with a free ticket to the sequel, I decided it was my chance to pick it up. I'm glad I did. Although not the best espionage thriller ever, it's surely a classic in that genre. I love the mystery surrounding Jason Bourne, the pace is brisk and fun, and the action is always enjoyable.
 
And the sequel? Gladly, The Bourne Supremacy is both more of the same and yet continues to develop Bourne's story. At first, the story is a standard spy thriller, but I loved the way that it developed more information on Bourne's history. I liked the ending and the heartfelt apology he offers (did you really think he was going to die? There's at least one more book in the series!) Although I didn't think the story was as clever or original as the first film, there were defintely improvements made throughout. The cast was just as sharp. Although Chris Cooper's character was killed off at the end of the first installment, I liked that he was still around (albeit in flashbacks) during this film. Joan Allen has always been a favorite actress of mine, so I was glad to see her show up as the CIA officer. And Brian Cox is always a good actor, even if the poor guy looked like he was suffering through a heart attack through both films.
 
These aren't my favorite films ever, but I can see myself watching them over and over. I like the vibe they have to them, kind of a Fugitive-meets-James Bond type energy. The European locations always look nice (although I was partial to Paris in the first film.) The plots are always clever. The action is intense. The first film had a cool car chase and a nice little shootout at the end, culminating in a very cool "ride the body" shot at the end that was very nice. The second film has a very brutal martial arts fight in an apartment and probably THE COOLEST car shase ever filmed through the streets of Moscow.
 
I like Matt Damon as Jason Bourne. He doesn't play him like a superhero. He's not joking and flippant like James Bond. He's not flashy and indignant like Ben Affleck's Jack Ryan. Damon plays him as a likable guy, but a tortured soul. But my favorite thing about his portrayal of the character is that he supplies him with a believable intelligence. You can almost see the gears working as he plots his escapes. He's always two steps ahead of everyone else and it's nice to have a smart character instead of some bulky, one-liner spouting superhero.
 
So, if you haven't see the first film, go rent it. If you have, go see the second. Both are fun action films that actually have some brains behind them.
 
Last night Erin gave me a very nice watch for my birthday :) It's been years since I've had a nice watch, so that was really cool. Tonight a bunch of my friends are taking me to Pizza Papalis in Greektown for my birthday dinner :) Should be a lot of fun!
 
C-Dubbs

Detroit Dreamin'
 
Good Saturday morning to you all. Normally I don't give two cares about the dreams I have, because they don't make much sense or I forget them by the time they wake. But last night I had two really vivid, emotional dreams.

The first was no big deal, but it was still very vivid. I dreamt that one of my best friends was moving away and I would never see them again. And I remember just being crushed in that dream and extremely depressed that I would never again get to talk or hang out with my best friend. No big deal, though, because that was one of those dreams where you wake up and go, "hmm, that was weird."

The second dream, however, stuck with me.

I dreamt I was back in high school. But this time, instead of the standard dream about not having homework done, things were different. I was at an outdoor memorial service. Four teenagers had died in various car accidents from my school. The names that were read aloud at the service scared me, because in real life they are names of people I haven't though of in years. But it turned out in the dream that one of the students didn't die, and was hanging back at the fringes of the crowd. So I went and talked with her about the accident. And I told her about Christ and how if she had died without knowing Him, she would have gone to hell.

When I woke up, that dream was still with me. See, I was very standoffish in high school. I was the type of Christian who felt he would be defiled by hanging out with "the sinners." I had a bit of a complex mixed with very low self esteem, so I would try and get through the days without speaking to anyone. I would sit in the same journalism class for three years with ten girls and not say a word or start a friendship with any of them (I'm kicking myself for spiritual and other reasons now...some of those girls were very cute!)

Now I wonder where they're at. Are they happy? Successful? Most importantly: do they know God? Have any of them died without hearing the gospel? Will any of them go through the rest of their lives without hearing that God came to Earth and died for them? For many of them, was I the only chance that they would ever have to hear the gospel? Why didn't I step outside of my comfort zone and take a chance? Why did I hold onto my low self esteem? Why did I place myself on a holier-than-thou pedestal? Why didn't I just try to take a chance, even if they would have thought me a fool?

And why haven't things changed?

I'm not still holier-than-thou (I hope.) I am actually a bit more outgoing, especially at work, where I always have a witty, sarcastic comment. And I've realized that I have just the same amount of sin in my own life as those I would previously look down upon.

But sharing the gospel is not a priority to me. I don't open my mouth to speak words of hope. When someones down, I don't make an effort to see why. I don't live with a contagious faith and if we're called to live the Great Comission, I can't get my butt out of Judea.

Do we seriously think it doesn't matter? We, who profess to each other the great hope and peace that comes in Christ, why do we keep this like a secret? Why do we say "you have to get in church" without telling someone why? We worry about sharing our faith because people will think we're crazy. . . what does that say about our own belief?

The greatest regrets I have come from not making an effort in my teenage years. I don't want that to change and look back and see that my 20s (which will be half over on Tuesday) are my Next Big Regret.

Something's gotta change.

C-Dubbs

THE DEVIL DIDN'T MAKE ME DO IT, BUT HE DOESN'T MIND THE CREDIT. . .
 
So, it's the end of the night on Friday. Not a bad day at work today. The eight hours went by fairly calm and I left feeling ready for the weekend. After my regularly scheduled nap, a nice dinner made for me the other day by my Nana, and some putzing around on the internet, Erin and I went to Tim and Amy's condo for a bit. We played some euchre and just hung out for a bit. It was fun. Now I'm at home and I'm putzing around on the internet again. Although I'm kinda tired and would like to go to bed, I was also really craving a cappucino, so I got a French Vanilla one from 7-11 when I picked up milk.

The weekend's looking pretty relaxing. Tomorrow other than hitting the gym, my day is pretty much wide open. I'd like to go rent The Bourne Identity in preperation for seeing the sequel sometime this week. Other than that, nothing much planned. Tomorrow night Erin and I may go see Before Sunset or just chill out and watch some DVDs. Sunday is church and then I'm going out with some friends.

So, I've been thinking about sin a lot lately. I guess that you start to focus on that the more that you focus on God. You can't get close to the light and not realize how in need you are of a bath. And I've been thinking about a lot of the reasons we give for why we still fall prey to sin and still have to rely on our Savior day in and day out. I've been going through this book "The Enemy Within" that talks a lot about the issue of sin, and it's been very eye-opening to really focus on the reasons I keep falling into sin day after day.

I think the one thing I keep hearing from people are excuses why we sin. Like Donald Trump, Erin, and everyone else, though, I'm not a fan of excuses. So here are some of my "favorite" excuses, many of which I have used before and probably still will use again and again to dupe myself into believing my sin isn't my fault.

"I wouldn't sin if our culture wasn't so inherently evil and selfish. This world is just so godless and sinful that it's impossible to avoid sin."

"I just had a weak moment. That's not really what I'm like. I'm really a good person."

"The devil really got to me."

"It's not really wrong if you don't think it's wrong. Good and bad are in the eyes of the beholder."

Ugh. I hate, hate, HATE those excuses!! I hate even more that I still use them, even though I know the Truth. Let's face it. Our culture is only evil because culture is forged by the people in it. If culture is evil, it's because the people who make up that culture are filled with sin. Culture doesn't just "exist;" it's made.

Are we really good people? If so, why are the thoughts that drift through our mind, our jealousies, our hatreds and our outbursts sometimes our most honest moments and we have to make an EFFORT to do good.

I know that the devil does play a hand in this world. But sometimes I think that the truth is that we don't really need the devil's help sinning; he's content to leave us to our own devices.

And that last comment about our idea of what's good and wrong? That really doesn't dignify a response. If you believe in God, than you have to give up any rights for yourself to make the rules. The Creator makes the rules. If you don't believe in God, you have bigger issues that the idea of good and evil.

And what does the Bible say about this? Where does sin come from? We know it mentions the devil, but there are some truths in there that might surprise us.

For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. But now, it is no longer I who do it, bu sin that dwells in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh), nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform whaat is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. Romans 7:15-20

But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire ahs conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. James 1:13-15
 
That's the truth. We're rotten to the core. Crooked deep down. There is not one person who does good. Even the things we do that we think are good and honorable are laced with selfish ambition and pride. I once heard someone say that even our tears of repentance need to be washed in the blood of the Lamb.

Tonight I was reading about bone marrow transplants in "The Enemy Within." When someone has cancer, sometimes the last course of action is to pull out the cancerous bone marrow and replace it with good bone marrow. It's a procedure that is trying and tough and brings the patient near death. But when the procedure is over, the patient is cured.

Is there a much better metaphor to use for redemption? As we draw neaar to God, we become broken and humble and humiliated over our sin. We mourn over it, weep over it, become ashamed of it. But what does God do? When we approach Him broken and contrite, does he zap us into a million pieces? Does He banish us to the darkest sector of hell?

No, He loves us. He performs a sort of soul-marrow transplant. We're clothed and wrapped in righteousness. Robes that can't be ripped from us. And though we still struggle and sin, he still loves us as children and helps us recover and become more like Him.

In our dying to self, we can be cured of ourselves.

C-Dubbs

This is another song by Rich Mullins that I love the lyrics to. The love of God sometimes seems so simple and Disney-esque. But I like the title that another theologian whose name I can't remember gave it. The furious love of God. A love that invaded enemy territory, clothed itself as a pauper and died for love. The lyrics here are great! Enjoy!
 
The Love of God
by Rich Mullins
 
There's a wideness in God's mercy
I cannot find in my own
And He keeps His fire burning
To melt this heart of stone
Keeps me aching with a yearning
Keeps me glad to have been caught
In the reckless raging fury
That they call the love of God

Now I've seen no band of angels
But I've heard the soldiers' songs
Love hangs over them like a banner
Love within them leads them on
To the battle on the journey
And it's never gonna stop
Ever widening their mercies
And the fury of His love

Oh the love of God
And oh the love of God
The love of God

Joy and sorrow are this ocean
And in their every ebb and flow
Now the Lord a door has opened
That all Hell could never close
Here I'm tested and made worthy
Tossed about but lifted up
In the reckless raging fury
That they call the love of God

So I'm a go with the flow copycat. . .
 
My friend Hannah recently did this on her journal and I've seen a lot of people do it on their own blogs, so since it seems to be the popular/dorky thing to do, I think I'm going to now make a list of 50 random facts about me. If I can come up with 50. I don't know. It's late. I spent the night watching a "Scrubs" marathon on NBC. Along with "Arrested Development," one of TVs most overlooked gems, especially when so many sitcoms suck. Anyway, here we go. . .
 
50 Random Facts About Christopher Scott Williams (aka C-Dubbs)
 
1. Sometimes if I'm trying to work through how I really think or feel on an issue, I'll conduct an imaginary interview with myself, like I'm arguing with a friend or being interviewed for a magazine.
 
2. My first crush was Smurfette.
 
3. My first human crush was in first grade, named Heather Campbell. We'd hold hands and walk to lunch together and she'd share her deepest darkest secrets with me, like how her mom made her drink Cranberry juice every day so she would pee. :-) Unlike Smurfette, she was not blue.
 
4. I minored in film studies in college, hoping to become a film critic, so I have seen many foreign and obscure films that I don't understand but agree to be artistic because they talk French and smoke a lot.
 
5. I wrote a screenplay in college. It was called Aftermath and was about a youth pastor who has a student killed in a school shotting and the crisis of faith he goes through.
 
6. I was saved when I was six after an AWANA meeting at church. I remember it was around Christmastime and they were talking about God's gift to us. I went home and prayed and "asked Jesus to come into my heart," a phrase I now can't stand because there's no way it can encompass what truly happens.
 
7. I tend to ramble a lot.
 
8. I once threw a rock at a kid when I was about 10 and smacked him in the back of the head, and he was bleeding pretty bad. I had to go get his mom and so I went to the door and just said "a rock hit your son in the head." I went to the side of my house and convinced my brother we had to pray for him until his mom left.
 
9. The first two times I stayed up all night I ended up getting very sick and throwing up.
 
10. My first memory is being about two years old and being in Children's hospital in Detroit, where I was being treated. They thought I had leukemia. Turns out it was actually a staph infection and mono.
 
11. I used to play football with Snoop, my family's shitzhu. And when I say that, I mean I would tuck him under my arms like a football and run to the coach and then spike him on the couch. . . not hard!! He loved it!!
 
12. I've always had a love for writing. When I was a kid, I would write 80-90 page stories about my friends and I and our wild adventures. They started with "Ghostbusters Jr." Then they got original and ended up being "The Talon Kids," where we were a group of ninjas fighting drug lords and. . .other ninjas. We also met the Ninja Turtles in one of the stories. It was a crossover.
 
13. I've gone rappeling once, mountain biking in the mountains twice, and white water rafting four times. Three times on The New River in West Virgina and once on the Okoee in Tennessee.
 
14. I had a stroke at the age of 23 in a movie theatre lobby. To this day, we have no idea what caused it, although there are hardly any effects left to it except that when I get tired and frustrated, I can tend to slur my words.
 
15. I've had an alcoholic beverage only once. It was about a week after I turned 21. My parents were out of town and I went and bought a wine cooler. I felt so guilty about drinking in my parents' house that I threw it out half way through and have not had a drink since.
 
16. My roomate and one of my best friends, Brandon, actually started out being someone I hated. I was best friends with his brother, Jason, in high school and used to always tell Brandon what a loser he was. In college, we actually became best friends.
 
17. My other best friend, Erin, I've actually only known a little over 2 years. We met after exchanging e-mails on match.com.
 
18. My secret dream (not so secret anymore) is to be a published author. I'd love to write a novel one day.
 
19. I have a somewhat obsessive love for "The Simpsons." I've seen nearly every episode and can tell you simply by a quote what episode it's from in many cases.
 
20. I started drinking coffee when I was two and my grandmother (Nana) was babysitting me. She'd fix herself a cup of coffee and ask if I wanted a cup to go along with it.
 
21. When I was a kid, we had a dog that would keep running away. My dad said it was because someone was leaving the gate open for him to slip out. I decided to put it to the test and purposefully opened the gate to see if the dog would run out. When my dad caught up with him, he drove him to the humane society and gave him away because he ran away too much.
 
22. I can still remember the first movie I ever saw. It was "E.T." at a drive-in when I was two or three, and my brother, who was just a baby at the time, wouldn't stop crying.
 
23. When I was a teenager, I had quite the crude mouth on me, especially in middle school. Although I would never swear, my friends used to bet me I couldn't go an entire day without telling a dirty joke. Although I still have my moments where I talk before thinking, I'm kind of proud that I've improved a bit. . . although I still have my moments of stupidity.
 
24. I was probably one of the only Americans who didn't watch OJ's Bronco Chase. At the time it happened, I was at Cedar Point.
 
25. I once went on a blind date with a girl I met online. When I met her, she asked if it was really me because, in her words, "you don't look 19. You look 40."
 
26. For the record, I don't look 40, although I will concede I could pass for 25-30 depending on how I'm dressed.
 
27. My millenium New Year's Eve was spent going to Subway to profess my crush on one of my good friends only to find out her boyfriend from college that she had never mentioned was in town!! I spent December 31, 1999 sitting in my pajamas drinking microwave cappucino by myself, watching Billy Joel and Dick Clark. When I went to pet my dog at the stroke of midnight, he bit me. (I'm not making this up!)
 
28. When I was 19, my little brother gave me a black eye that lasted six months!!
 
29. If I'm depressed, I watch The Shawshank Redemption.
 
30. Every year at Christmastime, I have a tradition: I sit down and wrap presents and watch Die Hard.
 
31. I once interviewed Terry Lawson, the film critic for the Detroit Free Press to find out what advice he would give to someone interested in being a film critic. His answer, "don't."
 
32. My guilty pleasure movies are: Jason X, Freddy Vs. Jason, and Dude, Where's My Car?
 
33. I've never beat Super Mario Brothers.
 
34. My first dance was actually this May at my brother's wedding reception. Sadly, it was my sister in the wedding party dance. My second dance was that same night, with Erin. Dancing with my best friend was better than dancing with my sister.
 
35. The church I grew up in in Hazel Park made my family sign a form saying that we couldn't listen to rock music, dance, or go to movies.
 
36. My best friend when I was a kid, Mark, was trying to teach me how to use a chinese star when we were around 10. I ended up being hit with a chinese star right above the eye.
 
37. When I was a kid, I think I saw and talked to a ghost in my old house. He was floating above my stairs and wearing a cowboy hat. When I went to go tell my parents, he said "What do you think you're doing" and I ran back to bed. The next morning, the glass around the light had shattered.
 
38. I have one signature in my high school yearbook.
 
39. My original plan in college had been to major in English and become a writer. When I realized that there's no money in that unless you are guaranteed a publisher, I switched to
journalism.
 
40. My first job was working as a dishwasher at my uncle's pizzeria. I hated it with a passion.
 
41. I still love sending out and receiving online surveys from my friends.
 
42. My first car was a dark green, 1977 Dodge LeBaron. It was the ugliest think in the world. We called it "The Snot Rod." But some girls in my journalism class in high school thought it was the coolest car ever.
 
43. When I'm with my friends and get tired, I can get slaphappy and silly. At Kings Island I was going up to strangers and doing "Party Boy" from Jackass. . . but really, I try to stay quite mature for the most part.
 
44. I was not allowed to watch He-Man growing up because my dad said, "Only God is the master of the universe."
 
45. Although I work for a cell phone company, I pretty much get annoyed with cell phone. Especially when people use them in a car, an elevator, a store. Have private conversations people!!
 
46. If I'm in a situation where I don't know anyone, I can totally clam up. One time I met a friend and her roomate for the first time for a cup of coffee and hardly said two words the whole night. Another time I was invited to a family function at Erin's and didn't say a word the whole day.
 
47. When I was in middle school, I played basketball until the coach singled me out in front of the team and said "you should read a book on how to play basketball."
 
48. Sometimes, when work gets rough and stressful and bills pile up, I've had this fantasy about faking my death, emptying out my bank account and living in a beach town in Florida, selling t-shirts to tourists and sitting on the sand all day.
 
49. I used to be able to get through a 500-900 page book in two weeks in high school. Since college, though, I can't remember the last time I finished a book for pleasure, although I actually like reading more than movies!
 
50. I have two recurring dreams: one is that I'm back in high school and I don't have my work done for class and so I'm trying to find different ways to stall class, avoid class, or get everything done. The other recurring dream always has something to do with going back and working at Sam's Club. 
  
Okay, looking back, I really come off as quite the nerd :) I'm not, I swear! And my life is not nearly as sad and pathetic as that comes off!!

Okay, talk to you later!
C-Dubbs

Stupid Ponderings. .  .
 
Another boring night so I figured I'd just jot down some random thoughts I've been having before I attempt to do anything remotely constructive with my evening (such as deciding which DVD to watch). . .

I have become a big fan of the radio Bud Light Commericals "Real Men of Genius." They've  been out for awhile, I know, but they never cease to make me laugh heartily when I hear them. I particularly love the one about the back row heckler guy, yelling constructive, innovative phrases like: catch the ball, throw it, etc. The guy who does those is so deadpan and the "rocker" in the background cracks me up. These are so funny, it's almost a shame I don't drink so that I could support the advertisers. J/K. :-)

Hit level 13 on Tetris today!! I'm such a dork. I actually stayed five minutes at my desk after logging out because I was doing so good :-)

I have to admit that this summer, the movies have been pretty mediocre. I've enjoyed many of the films like Shrek 2, Van Helsing, The Day After Tomorrow, and Troy, but there are very few movies that I feel I'll watch over and over again. The only exceptions I would make that I consider to be phenomenal, wonderful films are Spiderman 2, Before Sunset, and Anchorman. Unfortunately, the summer's over halfway over and there's not much hope coming out, save for The Village.  I think Harold and Kumar go to White Castle could be silly fun for us guys, but I guess my hopes will have to be banked on trying to see Before Sunset again.

It has really been a slow, boring week. Tonight's another night where there is really nothing at all to do. I'm going to do my devotions after this, then maybe watch a movie and by then it will be around 10, enough time to take a walk, make lunch for tomorrow and maybe do a few odds and ends on the web. . .

My 25th Birthday is next Tuesday, July 27. I don't feel any dread or really anything at all about hitting that age. My parents are going to take me out on the 30th for dinner and a movie and a few of my friends are taking me out Sunday night. Other than that, nothing big planned. Maybe I'm starting to get to that age where birthdays stop being thrilling and mattering at all. I'm already to the point where there's really nothing I want, except for money. But even then, I can't figure out what to do with it. There's no way I would take birthday money and use it for bills or things like that. But do I want to buy a couple DVDs and CDs I've been putting off for awhile or save it for something bigger?? Sigh. I have no clue.

Okay, I think I've about emptied my brain of all its rational thoughts. I'll write something more profound next time!

C-Dubbs

Pasta, Seinfeld, Family Guy, and Tetris. . .
 
That pretty much sums up my evening here. After an uneventful day at work, it turned into. . . and uneventful night at home. It's turning into a pretty bad habit by now for me to take a long nap after work. I say bad because I'm sure it's not that healthy for my body to be sleeping that much (it's only about a 45-minute nap, but still. . . ) But part of my does it because after a stressful day at work it really feels good just to have that nap to burn off the tension.
 
Anyway, after my nap I made some pasta for dinner. Penne in a tomato/basil/garlic sauce I had bought at Trader Joe's. I ate too much of it and ended up spending the rest of the night in a kind of funk that usually accompanies eating too much pasta. You know what I'm talking about. . . you just feel tired and heavy and slow. So basically any motivation for a fulfilling night was thrown out the window.
 
I was originally scheduled to tentatively have coffee with Aaron Lawless, a friend from my old church. But he had some things to do, so we had to look at rescheduling. I called Erin, but just got her voice mail. I thought about joining Brandon, Diana, and Jason (Brandon's brother) for playing pool. But for some reason I could not get off the couch (no physical problems, just laziness.) So, here are the mundane thoughts from tonight. . .
 
I think I watched like four episodes of Seinfeld on TBS. I forgot how incredibly funny that show was. I don't know if I can remember all the episodes that I watched tonight, but some really stand out. George doing the opposite of all his natural instincts. The chinese guys in Kramer's bureau. The "It's Me" when Jerry's girlfriend called. I don't know if it's possible to watch an episode of that show that's not a classic. I can't wait until the First Season DVD comes out this Christmas.
 
Speaking of TV shows on DVD, I think I'm going to have to get The Family Guy. I remember not being to keen on it when it originally aired, but since then I have had so many people rave about it. I caught two episodes in between Seinfelds tonight on TBS and I think everyone was right on the money: that show is hilarious. Truly offensive, yes, but funny stuff. Not Simpsons quality, but very very close.
 
I also played too much Tetris on my cell phone today. Probably a few hours in between calls at work all in all and then a few long games at home. I'm developing an unhealthy addiction :)
 
Today wasn't a total loss, though. I did my laundry. Took a long walk and had my prayer time. Did my devotions. Right now I'm trying to read through all the gospels and get a harmony of how they present the life of Christ. My Bible has a guide to that, and it's really cool to see it all come together and see all the unity between the four gospels.
 
I also heard from my friend Andrea today. Hadn't talked to her in like over a year, so it was nice to be able to correspond with her again. Glad to hear she's doing well, has a nice boyfriend, has good things about her life. I missed talking to her and hope that I don't fall out of touch again.
 
I could look at today as a wasted day, I guess. Nothing really accomplished. But, it was kind of nice. Relaxing. Nice to have days like this. And it's "hump day." One day closer to the weekend.
 
So for now, that's all folks.
 
C-dubbs

Ponderings. . .
 
When did it become considered mature to be cynical? We look at life and we devalue anything magical or joyous. We look behind the curtain to see all the secrets, we try to bring people "down to Earth." We are satisfied with functional relationships at the expense of the rapture of love. We deconstruct our greatest  myths and legends in order to make them more "realistic." We distrust everyone, we're pessimistic about everything, we try not to get our hopes up about life.
 
What's worse, we look down on those who still see magic in the world. We look at kids and remark how naive they are. If someone dreams big we snicker and think about how their lofty ambitions will never be realistic enough to be fulfilled. If something bad happens, it's expected. If something good happens, we tell ourselves just to wait because the other shoe will soon drop.
 
I realize that's the result of living. I understand life is tough and many of us have been scarred by life. I understand that because I have plenty of my own scars. But it just seems like it's admitting defeat to lose those romantic, magical, adventurous parts of our lives that believe in something bigger, more wonderful, more incomprehensible than ourselves.
 
It's Christians who I have the hardest time accepting as being cynical. If our hope is truly in a God who is bigger than anything ever created, if we are truly, as the book of Romans says, "more than conquerors," than why should we be cynical? If God works everything for the good of those who love Him (Romans again) than why should we be pessimistic? We should be able to look even at the things that make us weep and take joy in the fact that they are working a glory we can't even imagine.
 
I'm not saying that we shouldn't cry when we hurt, scream when we're angry, or even cower when we're afraid. Just the opposite. We need to have those reactions, because that is part of living. Cynicism is when we put aside our emotion just to avoid the pain. We deal with it as expected. When we live lives for the joy of the cross, we cry and weep when we see the effects of a fallen world. But we still hope for the glory of Christ and we still have that anticipation that one day God will restore everything.
 
I stumbled over this song by Rich Mullins today. Hadn't heard it in years, but it perfectly fits what I'm writing about, probably even better than I could ever say.
 
Growing Young
 
I've gone so far from my home
I've seen the world and I have known
 So many secrets I wish now I did not know
'Cause they have crept into my heart They have left it cold and dark
 And bleeding
 Bleeding and falling apart

 And everybody used to tell me big boys don't cry
Well I've been around enough to know that that was the lie
 That held back the tears in the eyes of a thousand prodigal sons
Well we are children no more we have sinned and grown old
And our Father still waits and He watches down the road
To see the crying boys come running back to His arms
 And be growing young
 Growing young

I've seen silver turn to dross
 Seen the very best there ever was
And I'll tell you it ain't worth what it costs
And I remember my father's house
 What I wouldn't give right now
Just to see him and hear him tell me that he loves me so much

And everybody used to tell me big boys don't cry
Well I've been around enough to know that that was the lie
That held back the tears in the eyes of a thousand prodigal sons
 Well we are children no more we have sinned and grown old
And our Father still waits and He watches down the road
To see the crying boys come running back to His arms

And when I thought that I was all alone
It was your voice I heard calling me back home
And I wonder now Lord What it was that made me wait so long
 And what kept You waiting for me all that time
 Was Your love stronger than my foolish pride
 Will You take me back now take me back and let me be Your child

'Cause I've been broken now I've been saved
 I've learned to cry and I've learned how to pray
 And I'm learning I'm learning even I can be changed

And everybody used to tell me big boys don't cry
Well I've been around enough to know that that was the lie
 That held back the tears in the eyes of a thousand prodigal sons
Well we are children no more we have sinned and grown old
And our Father still waits and He watches down the road
 To see the crying boys come running back to His arms
 And be growing young Growing young Growing young"

C-Dubbs, Out!