Would everyone just shut up!!??

So I'm in a very foul mood today. Don't really know why. Maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Maybe the weather getting cold and rainy again got me down. Maybe I'm just really going stir crazy today with vacation within my grasp yet not quite here. Whatever it is, I have been cranky, frustrated, and cynical all day and I feel like I just need to crawl into my bed and forget all about it.

Don't really know what's gotten to me. I'm not depressed, per say. But if anything is brought up, I just have a bad attitude about it today. Asked if I was going to see The Passion over the holiday weekend I kind of spit out "the movie's overrated. I have no desire to see it again." Asked if I was hanging out with some friends I just snapped "I'm getting sick of seeing them all the time." Sitting at work I rolled my eyes and snickered at every customer. I had to control my tongue in traffic. And even the most subtle nuisances of red lights, pop up ads, and even my dad vacuuming during the tv shows have ellicited sighs and groans and rolling of the eyes. Yup, I'm not much fun to be around today.

Part of the problem probaby is that I just need this vacation very badly. I need a week where I'm away from work, away from my obligations, away from my responsibilities and--this is going to sound horrid--even away from my friends for a bit. I just need some time to relax, unwind, think, and enjoy life away from any obligations.

The other reason, though, is probably more my fault. I have fallen into a rut with my devotions. Oh, I'm doing them. But kind of half-heartedly. I'll flip open my Bible on my lunch break and peruse whatever passage I'm supposed to be getting through. But my heart's not in it. And prayer? Don't get me started.

I guess the easy thing to do when I'm in a mood like thi is to look and complain about how everyone else needs to change. But if everyone's getting on my nerves and I'm the one getting frustrated, maybe the change needs to happen on my part. Maybe I need to take some time away from things. Maybe I need to focus more on scriptures. If I'm still frustrated with my job, I can keep looking. If my friends continue to frustrate me, I can always look elsewhere (although I don't think that's so much an issue with my friends as it is just my sucky attitude today). But right now all I can change is my attitude. I need to wake up tomorrow convinced it will be the best day of my life. I need to force myself to smile and remember that when I'm helping others, that's when I can find true joy. And I need to remember that those things are temporary--work, people, things--they aren't going to last. I need to be pursuing God's glory with an intense passion. That's what truly matters.

Hoping tomorrow will shine brighter,
C-Dubbs