Another Tuesday night and I ain't got nobody. . .

Ahoy there all! Well, it's wrapping up Tuesday night and I'm sitting here alone in my apartment, working on my blog. Good Tuesday night TV tonight. American Idol sucked, but we won't talk about that. 24, however, just keeps getting more intense each week. Great episode tonight, full of drama, action, twists, and surprising emotion. If you aren't watching this show, I guarantee you you're missing the best hour on television.

Does anybody really read this?? If you're out there and you read this, drop me a line at cdubbs727@msn.com. I'm just curious to see who actually keeps up with this.

There are a couple things I'm no good at. I can't fight. I'm a weakling. I used to be able to do Tae Bo, but now even a soccer mom could probably kick my butt. So I usually avoid any type of physical confrontation (the last time I got in an altercation, my little brother gave me a black eye that lasted six months!! That was about. . . sigh. . . five or six years ago.)

Also, I can't race. Now, that doesn't mean I can't run. I hit the treadmills at the gym pretty tough a few days a week and I can keep a good pace and work up a sweat. But when it comes to running in competition, being pit against others who actually know what they're doing, I'm a lost cause. I'm the guy you see in the cartoons, collapsing across the finish line with my tongue rolling out like some oversized party favor.

So I can really identify with the apostle Paul when he compared the Christian life to both a race and a fight in 2 Timothy, which was probably the last letter he wrote. ". . . I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith; in the future there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness." (2 Timothy 4:6-8). The book I'm going through right now, Future Grace by John Piper was talking about this tonight, and how the Christian life is tough. It's a fight to relinquish control of our lives and give it to Christ.

I like that Piper identified the contradiction we might see at first. Yes, Christ promised that his yoke was easy and his burden was light. But he also said that the way was narrow; it was tough to take the way that lead to eternal life. Being a Christian is both easy, because we realize that God is in control and holds our future. But it's also tough, because we don't like to lose that control. I'm going to quote from Piper, because I feel he says it better than I could:

But this ease of faith assumes that our hearts are humble enough to renounce all self-reliance and self-direction and self-exultation. It assumes a heart that is spiritual enough to taste and delight in the beauty and worth of God. It assumes that the world and the devil have lost their power to lure us away from satisfaction in God. If these assumptions are not true, then living by faith in future grace will not be as easy as we might have thought, but will involve a lifetime of struggle.

It's like the monkey with his hand caught in a jar. It would be easy for him to slip his hand out of the opening except that he has his fist clenched around a nut. If he loves the nut more than he loves freedome from the jar, then getting his hand out of the jar will be hard, even impossible. But what could be easier than dropping a nut? The battle that Paul and Jesus are talking about is the battle to love the freedom of faith more than the nut of sin.

Those words hit it right on the head for me and really hit me right where I'm living right now. I've recently come to terms with the fact that there are many things in my life that I need to change in order to continue my growth. My attitude needs a major adjustment, my thought life needs to be cleaned up, my patience needs to be improved, my temper needs to be a bit more mild, my courage and passion for faith needs to be improved, and--probably most of all, because it affects all these things--my faith needs to be strengthened. I don't have any problem telling you that these past few weeks as I've discovered this have sometimes been very trying, because as I try and fight the good fight and cling to my faith and lean on God for support, I still cling to my old ways and I still try and control things. Why can't I just open my fist and let go?

And to be 100% honest, it's been discouraging at times. Because I wonder where I'll continue growing. Is this is? Have I hit a wall? Am I going to be fighting this all my life? When am I going to wise up and start trusting God? It can get frustrating, especially as I see myself fall time and time again. But I found a wonderful hope in Phillipians 1:6, "He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." Christ has promised that our victory in this fight is assurred, even as we fail a few battles. And He's praying on our behalf, by our sides in the trenches.

And that gives me enough strength to fight another day!
C-Dubbs
cdubbs727@msn.com