Parting with the weekend is such sweet sorrow. . .

Well, it's Sunday night and it's time to slow down a tad and start preparing for Monday morning. Not a bad Sunday at all. Church this morning was good. . . the sermon was very powerful, about the fact that Christ calls us to be His friends. Went out for dinner with my mom and some of her friends afterward and then caught up on a nice, long nap and took a nice, long walk. Then it was back to church for the first night of my Money Matters class and then out with some friends, and back to my apartment, where Diana was mooching off our electricity and watching TV (just kidding Di!! You're welcome anytime!)

Anyway, the Money Matters course was really important to me. I've been on my own for almost a year now, and I'm getting kind of used to this whole money thing and the fact that I don't have much of it. But it frustrates me to no end that I make a very comfortable living and yet I still live paycheck to paycheck. I do have a budget, but I think it's the discipline and the savings that I lack. And I guess the main reason that I'm taking the class is not so much to learn to budget--although I do need to get better about that--but to really impress upon my heart what God says about it.

I had some time to read the book we're going through and there was an example in there that really stuck with me. In the 12th Century Crusades, the soldiers used to hire mercanaries for assistance. Because it was a holy war, the priests required that the mercanaries be baptized before fighting. And the mercenaries developed a habit when they were baptized of keeping their swords above water. The point they made is that their swords were not under God's control; they were the ones to determine how that was to be used.

The point of the book was that it's often the way we treat money. We hold it away from ourselves and think it's ours to control. God can't tell us what to do with it. We worked for it, it's ours, we'll do what we want with it. But we fail to remember that EVERYTHING is God's possession. We are just stewards of what He's given us.

Obviously, for me, I take that stance with money. It's mine. I don't need to save. I can buy the DVDs, CDs, and books I want. I can see as many movies as I need. It's mine. God can't tell me how to spend it. But what else do I do that with?

Time's a big one. After all, I'm now starting to have problems being consistent with my devotions and prayer life. Why? Because time doesn't permit it. I have tv to watch, things to do. I have friends to hang out with. After all, it's my time. . . shouldn't I spend it how I want? Who does God think He is demanding some of my valuable free time?

Relationships are another one. I want to hang with who I want. I want to end up with the girl I want. And God is not going to show me differently. I'm going to use my relationships to have fun or a good laugh; and not worry about bringing God into the conversation (sadly, not even with my Christian friends) because that tends to be a conversation killer. After all, God can't tell me how to behave with my friends can He?

And work. I don't like my job, so I'll pout, have a bad attitude, and settle for mediocrity. After all, God got me here. I'm not happy with it. So really, I'm just kind of getting back at Him when I don't work hard. After all, it's not the career I'm going to end up in, so why should I care anyway? Just use it until something better comes along. If I'm not going to be there forever, why should I try?

Do you see what happens? It becomes selfish. I should be so grateful that God has blessed me with money to get by, friends to talk to, a job to support me. And out of that gratitude and love for God, I should be willing to hand it all over to Him and say "It's yours, I'm going to do what you command with it." But I don't. I get selfish and greedy. And I think I have rights with things that are actually God's. I'm just the steward.

The funny thing is how quick I am to jump on others for having the same attitude with other situations. Someone is getting drunk or sleeping around and saying "it's my body," I'm quick to say "no, it's God's. You have to obey Him." But when I'm claiming control of possessions I only have by grace or relationships I only have through God, or situations I only have as a gift, then I'm guilty of committing the same sin.

I want my prayer to be, "God, these are yours. Take them. Make me a wise steward. Help me to use these things to bring glory to You. They're not mine. They're not going home with me. I'm just taking care of them here."

Well, it's off to bed now. Work is at 7:30 tomorrow. While I do love going in at that time, it's quite early. So, until then, I bid you all farewell!!

C-Dubbs