bored

Three updates in one day? Well, it's a rare slow day here at work and I'm stuck here until 6:00 doing overtime. So I figured I'd just spend some of my slow time doing an update to this hear blog. It's been awhile since I've written anything of real substance, so I guess i'll do that.

I'm very happy to say that my prayer life has improved dramatically in the past week. Prayer has never been something that has come easily to me. I think it's because, at heart, I'm a guy who likes to be independent and likes to have absolute, concrete evidence on things. And prayer demands two things that are hard for a person with that tempermant: humility, because prayer recognizes our dependence on God. And faith, because prayer is an act of trust. Even though I can't see God or hear his response, I have to have the faith that He's faithful with my requests.

When I was reading The Ragamufffin Gospel, Brennan Manning made a good point about prayer: we have to approach prayer like children. If you gave your child some paper and crayons and told them to draw a picture of the neighborhood, would you get upset that they made the sky purple, clouds yellow, had fish swimming in the sky? No, because a child can only do as much as their limitations will allow. A child cannot draw a bad picture. They can only do as good as they can. It's the same thing with prayer. I don't know what to pray for or how to pray. My feeble sputterings and sentence fragments seem, to me, to be a waste of oxygen before God's throne. But I have to remember that it's the Holy Spirit that gives me the words to say, and I have to be dependent on Him not just for the answers to my prayers, but for the prayers themselves.

"Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered." Romans 8:26

So, I've found myself approach God with more confidence on the way to work or while taking a long walk. And I don't worry about what I'm going to say or how I'm going to say it. I simply pray. And I'm learning a few things along the way:

1.) It's all about God. I think my weakness in this area was part of letting me surrender to God's control. I like to be good at things. But prayer is a weak area for me. And I've had to trust that God would teach me to pray and give me the words.

2.) God controls ALL. As I've found myself depending more on God, I've come to realize more and more how He's in control of EVERYTHING. In praying for a church member undergoing surgery, I was able to realize it's God who grants the doctors wisdom and skill. In praying for friends, I've had to realize it's God who changes hearts and attitudes and motivations.

3.) I'm pretty puny. The more I pray, the more I shrink. I pray for my "needs" less and I spend more time in prayer for others and praising God.

Prayer is a powerful thing. It's not just a method of communication. It's often how God shapes our hearts and minds to be totally dependent on Him. And I hope He keeps changing me.

C-Dubbs