Letters from the unfaithful...

Long day today. Worked a longer shift to pick up some more OT. Passed up a movie with Erin so I could talk to my dad about setting up a budget and being accountable. Now I'm home surfing the internet and trying to write something.

In between the end of my regular shift and the start of my OT, I decided to take a long walk. It started just around the block, but since I had two hours to kill, I just went for awhile and ended up at the Southfield Historic Square or whatever it was. It was a path touring some old buildings with benches sitting in the shade.

About that time I was really starting to get stressed. The pressure of bills was squeezing in. My malaise at work was starting to get serious. And the questions about faith that tend to nag at me in these dark times was starting to gnaw at me. So I did the only thing that seemed sensible.

I prayed.

I don't know how long I was on that bench with my head bowed and my heart pouring out pleas to God. Probably, truth be told, only about 15 minutes or so. But by the time I hit "amen," it was like a different day. My problems weren't gone, but my worry was. I felt a peace and a hope that I hadn't felt in a few days. I was able to look at my problems and see the solutions God was placing in the paths. I was able to calm down and be rational. To look at my job and realize that I'm only 24 years old...this is only temporary. Life is just beginning. There is so much to look forward to. This is just a speed bump and God is leading me through it. Although I'm carrying my cross, He is Simon stopping to help me pick it up.

And as I finished my walk, I realized that it's time to stop whining and take action. Not just think about the things that could be better or where I want to end up, but take action about the things I have on my plate during the day. After all, Christ said that those who are faithful with a few things will be entrusted with many. If I want to be moving into a new career, I have to be the best person I can be at my current job. If I want to support a family, I have to be able to handle my own finances today. If I want to even think about pursuing marriage down the road, I have to watch how I treat the relationships I have today.

And the cornerstone for all of that is faith. I have to trust that God isn't going to let go, jump ship, or give me the ol' kiss off. He's faithful. And even when I'm faithfless, he's still there. My God. My Abba. My friend.

C-Dubbs