Saturday, April 24, 2004

A Walk Down Memory Lane. . .

Uneventful Saturday night here. I watched Something's Gotta Give with Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton tonight, which was a very cute, funny romantic comedy. Highly recommend it (ironically, my other choice--Almost Famous--happened to be on ABC!)

Anyway, I think I should probably abstain from watching romantic comedies by myself, especially on Saturday nights. I just felt very wistful and lonely after it was over. In fact, I had to go to Starbucks and get a coffee just so I could feel like I was interacting with people :)

But I got home and decided to look at some of my old journals I had found while I was cleaning my room. They actually go back 10 years, to my 15th birthday! I have to admit that there are a lot of different feelings I got when I read those entries. Embarrassment, humor, and surprise. Reading back at my writings from my teenage years really gave me an open eye as to how tough adolesence really was. All the anger, uncertainty, and fear. Um, good thing that doesn't last, right? lol.

I'm amazed at things I wrote. Some are just chuckle-worthy--like my excitement at making $5.50/hour ("soon it will be $6"!) Some are poignant, as I look at an insecure little boy who was afraid to talk to girls, ashamed at times of his faith, and not sure about the world he was in. And some amaze me because I can still see the things I deal with on a day in and day out basis. Struggles with devotions, impatience issues, dread with work, loneliness. . . man, the more things change the more they stay the same, right?

But I felt a great confidence in the fact that I could look back on those journals with a somewhat more mature eye. It means that God's faithful to complete the work he started in me. . . just like He promised! Who knows. . . in ten years maybe I'll look back at this blog (saving that the internet hasn't been decimated by nuclear war) and chuckle at the memories of an immature 24 year old. Who knows? I'm still young. I haven't made sense of this world yet. Don't know if I ever will. But you know what? I know who made the world. . . so I'll just follow Him :)

C-Dubbs