End of hump-day

Remember how last week I wrote what a triumph it was to get through Monday? I think Wednesday carries a little bit of that same weight. The week is officially half over. Two more days til' the weekend. It's almost there. Somehow, Thursday and Friday are always a little bit better than the first three days of the week. Maybe because the end is in sight.

Was going to write more reflections from "The Weight of Glory" today, but it's late and I don't have time for a very lengthy entry. So, hopefully I'll get to that later. Luckily, the hotel where I'm staying in Chicago this weekend has a modem in the room, so I'll be able to update my blog from there.

So today wasn't too bad. Work was standard, but nothing horrible. I didn't leave too tired. . . although that didn't stop me from taking a nap afterward. :) Went and got coffee with Aaron Lawless tonight. It's always nice to hang out with him. Back when I was at Redeemer (my old church) he was my best friend and we had so many great conversations. Even though it's been over a year since we last sat down for coffee and different changes have happened--he's married now, I'm . . . sigh. , . I guess he's changed--it was like picking up where we left off. We talked about the circumstances that led to him leaving Redeemer. We talked about who we're reading nowadays. Movies. He talked about how great married life is. I put up my facade of being a happy, content single. I drank my chai. That was about it.

Took my walk tonight as usual. After my prayer, I let my mind kind of wander and meditate a bit and for some reason, my thoughts turned to the trinity and it's involvment in Christ's sacrifice. I guess I always think of the Incarnation and crucifixion in such a one-dimensional way. I think of the Son choosing to come to earth and that the sacrifice was that He suffered and died and then rose again. Not that it's untrue, but I've always found myself in the past few years not being as moved by it as I was in the early years of my walk with Christ. Don't get me wrong; I am awed by the sacrifice Christ made. But as I've read and studied, I've always known that there was another level of depth and truth to be explored in the Incarnation and I always found myself so frustrated that my thoughts were so earth-bound.

But tonight, God laid on my heart the Trinity's involvement, particularly the relationship of the Father and the Son. The Son, chose to leave the Father's side in Heaven. Chose to give up splendor and majesty and beauty to come to Earth. He chose to make himself dependent. He chose to make Himself subject to rules that The Father had created. He chose to experience pain, suffering, loneliness, hunger, rejection, and death. There's a much deeper layer of sacrifice in choosing to leave Heaven and come to Earth than in just the crucifixion. The Son's entire life was Sacrifice. And that perfect relationship with the Father experienced its first and only breach on the cross as the Father had to turn His back away and pour His wrath out on the One who had been with Him since before time even began.

And what about the Father? Allowing His Son to go to Earth, knowing what He would face there. Knowing he would be scorned, rejected, and suffer the most hideous death that humans had ever devised? How much did it hurt the Father to pour out all his anger and wrath on His Son, knowing that He was innocent, knowing that He had chosen to come, knowing How much pain the Son was in and knowing that for His will to be accomplished, He couldn't stop it?

And for what? We've all had things that we've paid an outrageous sum of money for that only we seem to be able to see the value in. I wonder if the angels have ever looked down on us and asked God "you paid that much for this?" After all, we're the race that perfected genocide. We, as Romans said, invent ways of doing evil. We take joy in sin. And even those of us who were called by God still turn our backs on Him each day in pursuit of lovers so much less wild. Were we worth the price?

Ultimately, that's not our question. And it's a question that God has answered in the fact that He allowed the payment to go through and be accepted. And thinking about that tonight left me dumbstruck and in awe of the beauty of the cross. How great the Fathers' love for us, indeed!

C-Dubbs