Repentance, Forgiveness, Glory, and Grape Juice . . .

Okay kids, take a deep breath before diving into this entry because there's been a lot going on in my head this weekend in regards to things God's been showing me. This may take awhile to get out so you may want to grab a Snickers because you could be here for awhile :)

It seems that over the past six months or so, God has been really taking the time to help me see more clearly His purpose on two things. One is, as I've written quite a bit about, a dissatisfaction with the world we live in. The second is the idea of sin and repentance. It's that second subject that I've been thinking about over and over this weekend thanks to some things I read and some things that were done at church today.

I get a lot of questions about the subject of eternal security. At first I simply believed in "once saved, always saved" because it was what the Baptist church taught. However, my grandparents and on of my good friends in college were Nazarene. My best friend now is in the Salvation Army. And both of those churches have different views on the doctrine of eternal security. My view on it, however, has become much more concrete the more I dig into God's Word. I believe that once we come to Christ that we are never cast out or taken away. Even our own selfish thoughts can't make us walk away. Christ said He could not lose One of us. That's a doctrine that has brought me a lot of comfort and joy, especially after my "most sinful" moments. And maybe in the future I'll devote an entry to why I believe that way. But that's not what I want to focus on.

The big question I get from people who don't believe in eternal security, though, is the assumption that it gives us a License to Sin. After all, they say, if it's once saved always saved, then can't I just do whatever I want because I know God will forgive me? Again, it's deeper than I plan to go into on here tonight, but that's not the case at all. We're saved FROM sin. . . if we're truly saved, it should be our desire to stay away from it, although we always end up falling sometime down the road. But I do tend to think about that question quite a bit, especially because I've often used that statement to "allow" myself to give in to certain temptations. "Go ahead," I tell myself, "You're forgiven. God's not going to come down and smite you."

The more I think about this, though, the more I wonder how God feels as he watches us take his grace for granted. Why would He forgive us, knowing that we're going to just turn away again? Sometimes I wonder if He feels the same way a battered wife does when she takes back a violent husband only to suffer his abuse again. Why would he forgive us? After all, God doesn't NEED us. He's not lonely. We can't offer Him anything He doesn't already have. We aren't a benefit to us. And yes, I know that the answer is that He loves us, but we've all had to let go of ones we love who only hurt us. There has to be something deeper there that makes God love us so unconditionally and deeply.

Yesterday I stumbled upon a very short Psalm in my devotions. Psalm 130. Other than the time I went through the Bible in a year, I don't think I'd ever gone through this Psalm. But this time, a verse in there jumped out at me. Two verses, actually.

If you, Lord, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand? But there is forgiveness with you, That you may be feared. (Psalm 130:3-4).

First off, isn't that first verse so true? If God kept records of all the sins we committed against Him, then none of us would be able to stand. That's why Christ came, of course, because there was no one on Earth who could bear the punishment of sin. No one was perfect, except for Christ, the God-Man.

But the second verse was what got to me. There's forgiveness. . . so God may be feared. God doesn't forgive us to give us a License to Sin. He forgives us so that we will glorify Him.

See, coming to true repentence means a couple of things. First off, it means being broken of our sin. That's what that first verse is talking about. We realize that our sin, no matter what it is, is so heinous that we have to right to come before God. We deserve death and hell. And I don't care if you haven't come to know Christ yet or if you've been saved for forty years, we all come to this point before God every time we recognize the truth about our sin. The difference is that we believers know the power of the second verse. There is forgiveness!! God has pardoned us! He has paid our debts. I like what the old hymn says, later redone by Derek Webb "Should the law against her roar, Jesus blood still speaks with power. All her debts are cast on me and she must and shall go free."

But what does this have to do with Christ and God's glory? Everything! Repentence doesn't just mean stewing in our guilt. It means we see the farce in trying to live life our own way, the heartache that comes with trying to be our own salvation. And it reviews the beauty and truth of the gospel!! Repentence involves us turning from those things that caused us to be broken and turning to the cross and the Word. We need to repent every day and that's when we realize that Christ is the only way that we can live. He is the only life. The Word is the only thing we can cling to. And that drives us to our knees to realize our dependency on God in every area of life!! And that is what what glorifies Him!! So His forgiveness gives Him glory!!

And that is not a License to Sin. When we repent, we see the Truth so clearly. Our way brings only death. Since we've been saved from that, why would we still carry that dead man around? That's what sanctification is all about: God leading us so that we grow more dependent on Him and more and more like Him. Max Lucado wrote a quote that I once really liked that said, "God loves you just the way you are, but he refuses to leave you that way." I still agree with the quote but I think Kris Lundgaard puts it much better in the book I'm reading now, Through the Looking Glass, a book about the glory of Christ. "He [God] loved us so much he couldn't leave us the way that we are." And so that's what the Christian life is all about, learning to depend on God in everything and following Him in faith and obedience.

Of course we sin. And that's where the second thought that I had comes in. I always find it so amazing the diverse group of people we have at our church. People with a lot of money, people just eeking by. Kids, senior citizens, teenagers. People who are going into the ministry and those of us who try and serve God in blue collar careers. All of us gather together once a week to worship.

Today was communion Sunday, which we have the first Sunday of the month. And as I was sitting there waiting for the cup to be passed, I began to think about everyone in the church. We were all focusing on the cross and that meant focusing on our sins. Only God knew the diverse sins that our congregation represented. Some kids in front of me probably fought with a sibling or disobeyed a parent or teachers instructions this week. I thought about the teenagers and the people my age. Some of us were nursing deep hurts and even deeper guilts. There were single mothers, recovering alcoholics, and I'm sure every other type of sin represented in every pew at church. How many of the older people had years of sins that were put on the cross?

And yet, I realized something so amazing today. No one gets more or less grape juice or bread depending on their type of sin. We all have the same amount. No one gets more time to focus on their wealth of iniquity, because at its core all sin is the same: rebellion against God. No one is so priveleged as to drink first because their biblical knowledge is so much more in depth. We drink the same cup, at the same time, and in rememberance of the same God who paid the same sacrifice for us all. The ground, as they say, is level at the foot of the cross. And I remember thinking: that's what church is about. All of us sinners coming together to celebrate and remember and praise. I think I want to put that in a short story sometime.

Few other random thoughts tonight. I've been reading The Best American Short Stories over the past day and I find it really amazing that most of the stories are either by or about immigrants or foreigners. At first I thought it was odd that all of that was in an "American" collection, which I guess just goes to show the ingrained prejudice I sadly hold on to. But the more I think about it, the more it seems right to me. After all, isn't that the great thing about America? There's no such designation as to what makes an "American." We're such a wonderful, beautiful mixture of cultures, colors, and languages. It's a really great, refreshing read (and it makes me feel a little more cultured to be reading "literature.")

Speaking of reading, I just read the latest issue of RELEVANT magazine. I don't know who out there has read it before, but this was the first one I read, but I can assure you it won't be the last. This magazine feels like it was written for me. It delves very deeply into some theological issues and never feels condescending or fluffy. But it also deals with the life choices we make every day and with the culture we're surrounded by. I love it that a Christian magazine could tackle "Mere Christianity," the christian perspective on gay marriage, caffeine addiction, and have an interview with Richard Linklater all in the same issue. This is a great magazine that you should check out if you get a chance.

Well the week starts back up tomorrow. Nothing big planned except work. Wednesday I'm doing some overtime and Thursday I'm helping my brother move into his new place. That's about it.

Okay, well I have some e-mails to do before bed. Have a good one!

C-Dubbs